Sorry for so many posts...I've just been thinking through a few things and curious about some stuff.
Growing up, I was frequently told(mostly by parents and/or teachers) not to whine and complain. I was told by parents that complaining incessantly wouldn't get me anywhere. For the most part, they were right. As a result, I grew up being the type of person who would vent a lot to close friends or on annonymous website boards, but out in the real world, would take a lot of shit while grinning-n-bearing it. (This, of course, is known as unassertiveness or not having a spine) I already wrote about how I had a lot of problems plaguing my life around 2yrs ago...during that time, I would complain to my friends in hopes to seek out advice or their help. A few of my so-called "friends"(later I realized they really weren't truly there for me) got into the habit of saying "stop the bitchin." Not that it wasn't understandable as to why I would be complaining, but that they simply didn't want to hear it(hence them not being true friends) because they didn't want to go outta their way to help me. (Funny, but some of my problems, such as being owed money that I really needed, were problems caused by them!)
So one day, I was in an especially tight situation. Basically the situation was a conglomeration of many problems I was facing at the time(domino effect). I waited at this bar/restaurant while I tried to call people for help, and ended up talking to this guy(mid-20s in age). At one point, it came out about my situation and the guy actually said, "Wow, I don't know if I can really believe that, because you don't appear overly upset. If I were in your shoes, I'd be totally devastated!!! I'd be throwing a crying fit!" He was hesitating if he should help me(I needed a ride; I was stranded!), but was skeptical if I was telling the truth or not...simply because I acted so calm and poised about it, as opposed to crying and complaining! Here all along, my friends were telling me "stop the bitchin" yet now, my stopped-bitchin was working against me!(LOL as the guy contemplated with his jerk friends about helping me, I texted all this to the two particular friends that had said "stop the bitchin", in a very "I-told-you-so" tone). Meanwhile, the guy's jerk friends were accusing me of being a "deceptive liar," claiming that I was probably making up my problems as a way to get this guy to help me so that I would later steal off him or something. Eventually, I started to act a little irate and speak in a tone of desperation, and I think that prompted the guy to agree to help me out. (LOL he was cute, too!)
Before that, I was working various menial jobs where it seemed that they ignored my work availability amongst other things. Even when I told them about it, they still seemed to ignore my requests, simply because I wasn't throwing a crying fit about it like the immature coworkers. Or maybe my calmness made them think that it wasn't that "desperate" of an issue?
So I'm wondering...are there times that NOT complaining/whining, can actually hurt you? Not even in the sense of "speaky wheel gets the oil," but in the sense that people might not believe that it is an issue requiring attention? Hmmm just curious.


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