I don't feel "pretty", "desired" anymore

[greenidlady1]

I don't know if anyone else has had this problem since they stopped dancing but sometimes I don't feel pretty or desirable anymore. I guess when guys are telling you how attractive they think you are and wanting you even if it's in a false sense it makes you feel good sometimes.

[Yekhefah]

If it makes you feel any better, *I* think you're exquisite. You have that very gentle, fragile beauty that makes me think of flowers. I wish I had that.

[greenidlady1]

Oh, thank you. My little british friend I use to work with at the club called me her "petal" because I reminded her of a delicate flower as well.

[TheSexKitten]

Wow, well you may just not be exposed to horny men nowadays , but you should remember you are a gorgeous woman. Seriously amazing. In day-to-day life men are just too reserved to say anything, but I'm sure you have plenty of random secret admirers. How could you not?!

[cameronfl]

I'm sure anyone who looks like you could just put on a hot outfit and go to the mall and have evryone staring and drooling!!!

[greenidlady1]

Awwww, thank you guys so much,

[Emily]

well, some honest advice....stop looking to other people for validation. Sorry, but that seems to be a common theme for you...and it's especially bad because you seem to pick the worst guys for you.

[FrustratedBunny]

well, I think you're quite pretty. If it's any consolation, I always have bums (litterally, bums, as in homeless) and other crazies find me attractive. And that seems to be the only ones that notice me.

[shakti]

It's easy to over glamorize stripping when you're no longer doing it. Don't forget that you hear a lot of "no,thanks" on a nightly basis too, which can give the opposite effect of the one you're craving. Your sense of sexiness needs to come from somewhere else than the approval of a bunch of drunks at a strip club. Honestly, sometimes stripping can feel cheesy and contrived as opposed to genuinely sexy. The latter is something you can radiate just wearing a T-shirt and jeans.

[PhillyDancer1982]

I don't know if anyone else has had this problem since they stopped dancing but sometimes I don't feel pretty or desirable anymore. I guess when guys are telling you how attractive they think you are and wanting you even if it's in a false sense it makes you feel good sometimes.

Hmmm I actually had the opposite scenario occur. During the last few months that I was dancing, I was getting burned out plus the industry was really really slow. I felt that I was looking my best, yet guys were being unwarrantedly mean and snotty to me when I didn't do anything wrong to them. It got to the point that I got so fed up with dancing and even more fed up with making less money than I was used to. When I made little money, it made me feel like I was "ugly" or "uncharming" because guys generally use those parameters when deciding if they should buy a lapdance and/or give tip money. (Sales skills is also a big factor, but I already knew that I couldn't sell my way out of a paper bag.)

During the times that I wasn't doing as good money-wise in the strip club as usual, were also the times that I seemed to attract more guys in OTC type places. I do not know why this is. But I do know one thing though. Ever since I stopped dancing, I've been a little more free with my sexuality when I am hanging with friends at bars and stuff. When I was dancing, I would sometimes act slightly demure because I didn't want guys to suspect that I was a stripper. But now that I have nothing to worry about them finding out(since I don't dance anymore), I've been acting a little more bold and sexual. The reason that I didn't want guys to know that I danced, is because I didn't want it getting back to my family and former high school classmates(I live only half an hour from my old hometown, so I am aware that word can spread very easily!). But maybe that's just me.

And I think you are on to something with the whole confidence thing. Guys telling you that you were beautiful probably raised your confidence and that affected how attractive guys viewed you. (Because guys love confidence!) I know that confidence affected the luck that I had with guys, because when I was working a dead shift at the strip club and guys were being cheap, it lowered my confidence a lot and that probably affected things. Plus, my purposely acting somewhat demure OTC(in an effort to contradict any poential rumors of me being a dancer) was probably perceived by guys as a slight lack of confidence. But I can assure you that from what I've seen in your avatars, you are very beautiful and I am sure that a lot of guys would kill to go out with you!

[head turner]

well, some honest advice....stop looking to other people for validation. Sorry, but that seems to be a common theme for you...and it's especially bad because you seem to pick the worst guys for you.

Some honest advice.

She has every right to feel like that and you sound like an old jaded stripper.
At least she has a man so what the fuck is your deal?