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Thread: Advise/Information...

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    Default Advise/Information...

    Hoping this is a good place to try and locate some information on stripperetiquette.

    What is customary to tip for lap dances? Does it depend on the $$ of the lap dance?

    If a dancer says that it is ok to touch them (in certain places), is it really ok? Would they prefer not to be touched even though they indicate its ok? We (my husband and I) want to be respectful, but still wanna have as much as allowed. Should one ask for clarification before the lap dance begins?

    Any other helpful hints you would like to pass along is great.

    We learned the hard way to tip your servers. First time we went to a club we had no clue about anything... didnt think to tip the server for a $5.00 pop... didnt see another server the whole night.

    Any information/advise anyone can provide is appreciated.

    Thanks!

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Advise/Information...

    Depending on the club/area, maybe half of customers tip on lapdances and OF COURSE we appreciate it and will generally be nicer to you in return. Tipping amount for dances, as with any other service, should be appropriate to the price of dance(s) you got. If you get one $20 dance a $5 tip is GREAT. Basically, around 20% is what most people tip on dances, since 15-18% is a bit hard to do in a stripclub. But I've never heard of a girl complaining about getting tipped only 10% either. Any tip is always better than no tip

    YES you need to tip the waitress, just like at any other service establishment Actually in the strip club tipping is MORE common and expected than at other service establishments.

    After having so many people try alot of crap on us, some girls will get a bit defensive if you start asking what you "can do" with her. 1) Many vice show up as a couple and many try to get us to agree to illegal activity, so a couple asking this might make her think you're cops trying to entrap her; 2) many customers who ask this are also very pushy and disrespectful so asking her what you can do may make her think you're going to behave badly.

    Instead, ask her at the beginning of the dance if you're allowed to touch - don't ask "what can we do?" Or you can just cautiously and lightly put a hand on her and see if she removes or deflects it. If she does not, proceed with caution. I personally think it's kinda fun to explore like that If she communicates that it's not ok to touch, DON'T.

    But, word to the wise: Most dancers do a better dance if you just sit back and let her do her thing, without you asking or trying to get more. When we feel comfortable that you're not gonna be the Mr/Ms Grabby Jerk we tend to get more friendly with you

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: Advise/Information...

    Oh dont get me wrong. We never ask, "What can we do" or anything like that. We always sit there with our hands at our sides letting the dancers do their thing. The last time we went to a club though the dancer said "You can touch me anywhere just not "down there"“ I didn’t know how to take that. Wasn’t sure if that meant I should touch if I wanted, if she wanted me to touch, if she was just hoping to get more money (not to sound mean).

    I had always thought we typically tipped well.. but I never know how it compares. I am pretty sure the last time we got dances the dances were $30.00 each he got 2 dances and I got 2 dances and we tipped $20.00 for both our sets. So that would be $160.00 total for the 4 dances including tip.

    I kinda feel like the plague for my husband when we go to clubs (some are better than others). We will be sitting together and it takes forever to have someone come offer a dance. I get up to go use the restroom and he gets asked 3-4 times when I am gone. When I get back.. Nothing. I understand not all girls like the couple thing or dancing for women but it sucks for him and makes me feel kinda... bummed (not the right word... but hopefully you get the idea).

    Thanks for the response. I really appreciate any insight everyone can lend.

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    Default Re: Advise/Information...

    Couples can be very intimidating to approach because a lot of the time girls come to clubs and once they get there they are just not comfortable with the experience and end up hating on the dancers and getting really jealous. Then there are the cool females but sometimes they are too cool and think that they can touch just coz they are female and if we are in a no touching club then it's not cool for any customer to touch male or female.
    Then there are the swingers who come in and pressure us during the whole dance to go home with them.

    If you would like to improve your situation at strip clubs then I would suggest approaching the dancers yourself or alternatively going up to the stage and tipping so that the dancers know that you are not a bitchy jealous female.

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    Default Re: Advise/Information...

    Jaizaine said it. Couples will never get as much attention in the club as men. Never. You can help the situation by tipping some girls on stage and ASKING for dances from the girls you like.

    If the dancer flat out tells you it's ok to touch, then go for it. Just be mindful of whatever limits she sets, and gentle. No one likes to be poked, prodded, grabbed, squeezed, etc. As a woman I'm quite sure you have an idea how best to touch another woman Touch her sensually. Ya know?

    There's really no set standard but as I said, most tippers give around 20%, more or less. $20 tip on 2 $30 dances is a very nice tip. The bottom line on that is, you tip what you feel is appropriate and you can afford.

    Also, don't worry so much about protocol - people know what is and is not asshole behaviour is, so just use common courtesy and HAVE FUN.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: Advise/Information...

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette View Post
    Couples will never get as much attention in the club as men. Never.
    This is not my expierence. My wife and I have gone to a couple clubs in Myrtle Beach and have always been given more attention then anyone else. In our lap dances I saw the girls doing things I have never seen them do with men. One of the girls gave us her number. It was crazy and cool. I love my wife.

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    Default Re: Advise/Information...

    Quote Originally Posted by lawofficeofjaj View Post
    My wife and I have gone to a couple clubs in Myrtle Beach and have always been given more attention then anyone else. In our lap dances I saw the girls doing things I have never seen them do with men. One of the girls gave us her number. It was crazy and cool. I love my wife.
    Geez man, there's always an exception to everything. Another couple won't have your experience. BUT, let me tell ya, I'm quite sure you haven't seen all the girls do for other men in the club, so you're not really in a position to say for sure whether the girls are REALLY doing more for you and your wife than they do with men. You just THINK they're giving you and wifey so much more. I'd also point out that there's most likely a much lower number of girls who'll approach you and wifey for dances, whereas pretty much all the girls will approach nearly all the men. Now quit arguing, you LAWYER you!!

    From your post, obviously you're regulars or at least been there enough to be familiar faces known to be friendly. THAT is very different than a couple who's unknown in the club - girls will still avoid them for the most part, choosing to focus on the men instead. OP's post shows that.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: Advise/Information...

    Quote Originally Posted by GuiltyPleasures View Post

    We will be sitting together and it takes forever to have someone come offer a dance. I get up to go use the restroom and he gets asked 3-4 times when I am gone. When I get back.. Nothing. .
    I'm guilty of doing this the other night LOL

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    Default Re: Advise/Information...

    ^^I've done it without realizing it. I think the woman with him is like a vision shield - I don't even see the dude until she goes to the bathroom. When she's gone, suddenly I notice this "new" guy sitting there so I of course walk right up and give him my schpiel, and the chic comes back from the bathroom just as I was about to ask him for the dance. hehe

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Default Re: Advise/Information...

    Quote Originally Posted by GuiltyPleasures View Post
    Hoping this is a good place to try and locate some information on stripperetiquette.

    What is customary to tip for lap dances? Does it depend on the $$ of the lap dance?

    In some places more than others. A tip is always appreciated, of course, but not always expected. Of course, you would tip other staff (waitresses, bartenders) the same as in any other establishment.

    If a dancer says that it is ok to touch them (in certain places), is it really ok? Would they prefer not to be touched even though they indicate its ok? We (my husband and I) want to be respectful, but still wanna have as much as allowed. Should one ask for clarification before the lap dance begins?

    If you are touching me where I say it is okay to be touched, that is absolutely respectful enough for me. Asking what they'd "prefer" - like in reference to what? Being at home watching reruns of "24"? No, in the context of our job, my only preference is that you obey my threshold - in spirit as well as substance - like if I say that you can't bite my nipples, it goes without saying that you can't suck them either. If I tell you that you can't touch my crotch, I prefer if you don't don't start touching the area right where my thigh connects with my crotch. Within the threshold of what I allow I have no preference, except for to show you a great time.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: Advise/Information...

    Bridgette- I stand corrected. Your arguing skills a pretty good as well. I just wanted to point out that I have had a different expierence. BTW we only went to the club twice. Each time we got good treatment. The first time was the best but the girl seemed to be drunk or high or something. She was out of control and almost got her and us tossed out. The second time the dancer was in control and very professional.

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    Default Re: Advise/Information...

    Thank you to all who replied.

    I appreciate the time you took to give me your opinions and experiences.

    I have thought about asking some dancers for dances... but I am actually kinda shy when I am around people I don’t know. I also don’t want to offend anyone by asking them and then finding out they don’t do dances for females. I also have a very low self-image and I don’t want to have anyone feel displeasure/disgust giving me lap dance. I know it sounds odd... but my husband and I try to be very respectful and as nonintrusive as possible.

    Anyways… thanks again for the info.

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    Default Re: Advise/Information...

    Quote Originally Posted by GuiltyPleasures View Post
    Thank you to all who replied.

    I appreciate the time you took to give me your opinions and experiences.

    I also don’t want to offend anyone by asking them and then finding out they don’t do dances for females.

    Anyways… thanks again for the info.
    I can almost guarantee this won't happen. I know most dancers, including myself will not turn down money like that. My ideal customer is the one who approaches me. It means I don't have to do all the hard work, face rejection etc. It's a nice compliment. The only reason u will get turned down is if the dancer already has a dance lined up in which case u might ask her to come back when she is finished.
    I highly doubt that a dancer will tell u she doesn't dance for women.

    Not wanting to approach a couple is very different than having one approach you for a dance.

    Good luck!

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    Default Re: Advise/Information...

    Quote Originally Posted by GuiltyPleasures View Post
    I also don’t want to offend anyone by asking them and then finding out they don’t do dances for females.
    I have danced for a long time and I've never once heard of any girl being offended because someone, anyone asked her for a dance. I cannot imagine it happening either. Some girls may not like dancing for women and therefore might turn you down, but they're not gonna be offended. MOST girls will happily dance for whoever asks them though


    Lawyerman:

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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