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Thread: i might give it up

  1. #1
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    Default i might give it up

    today was my first day back to work in 2 1/2 weeks because of my ankle. i was so excited to go back. but now i think i'm giving up dancing for good. i havent been this upset in a really long time.

    i didnt have that much to drink, but when i came out of a room tonight, i went upstairs, and the night dj goes "we saw you letting that guy finger you." umm.. what?! i honestly had no idea what he was talking about. at the start of the day, i told the manager not to let me leave if i was drunk because i havent had anything to drink in 2 1/2 weeks, and i didn't eat before i went in, so i was scared less alcohol would affect me more. so they took my keys away and wouldnt let me go, as i sat by the door and sobbed because no one would even talk to me. i went in the office and asked the manager what the hell was going on, and he proceeded to ask other girls in the office if i was slurring my words, which i wasnt, but of course he said yes (why should he even have to ask other people? he's the manager, things like this are his call. plus, they have a breathalyzer, which he never wanted me to use). i was on the phone with a girl i used to work with and she's seen me drunk and said i didnt sound drunk at all to her. anyway, the manager said he had it on camera, but didnt show me supposedly letting this guy finger me. after i talked to my friends for an hour, crying about how upset i was that i they would accuse me of such bullshit, i went back in the office and asked again for my keys. this time, the manager changed the story and said i was touching MYSELF in the room. now, i know girls here will say thats gross, but i dont make a habit out of it and i was barely even doing it. they said they saw the guy *trying* to do it after i did. ok, well trying doesnt mean he did it, now does it? and if that was the case, shouldnt they have come in and stopped whatever they thought was going on? the manager did say that the dj was out of line even saying anything to me, and said that i wasnt fired or basically even in trouble, that he just wanted me to drink less. why start all this if i wasnt even in trouble? and i found it very interesting that they changed their story and didnt show me what i supposedly did wrong. but again, "trying" means i didnt let anything actually happen. one of the girls took me outside and said that some of the girls there fuck for their money and if i knew i didnt do anything wrong i needed to brush it off and not care what they said. i know i should, but i do NOT want to work with people who think i do things like that.

    on top of that, when i came in, i got the impression that they thought i was lying about my ankle, even though i fractured it at work and everyone saw how swollen and bruised it was. i'm sure they're annoyed that i only worked there 3 weeks and then was out for 3 weeks, but i think this punishment is a little extreme. i dont even know if i want to dance anymore after all this. i've never felt so disgusted in my life. maybe i'm just not cut out for it.

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    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: i might give it up

    Learn this lesson and learn it well. Just because one club treats you badly it doesn't mean you are not cut out for this business. If at all possible, go find yourself another club.

    Not every club "fits perfect" for every girl. I know I'm having this problem with the club I'm currently working within at the moment. I "get it" at certain other clubs and do well (more often than not) whereas at this club I am just not "getting it". I just don't feel like I totally "fit" the club and the way it works.

    You're equating how this particular club and people within the club operate with and around you with stripping in general. Stop it right there. Just because you aren't having a particular good experience at this club does not mean you are not cut out for this business.


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    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: i might give it up

    ^^^Good advice. This is not the "real world." It's a seedy, underbelly where the usual rules don't apply. In a regular job if you get treated like shit there is usually a protocol for making complaints and getting things worked out. There is an expectation of honestly, forthrightness, and decency.

    Strip clubs operate by entirely different rules. You have to learn to keep your head down, stay as uninvolved as possible in club drama, and make your money. That was golden advice that other woman gave you. Brush it off and go about your business.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: i might give it up

    Stripping basics
    1. There will always be someone who will try to start drama involving you, deserved or not, it happens. If you did nothing wrong, just be strong and forthright in your statement that you did nothing wrong. Attitude is everything in this situation. Tears and histrionics will make others think you are guilty in this business, for some reason.

    2. There is no such thing as "fired" in stripping. After a peroid of time (anywhere from a week to several months) clubs will hire you back. Reguardless of the firing offense, unless you just really pissed off the manager, then you might have to wait for regime change.

    3. There is no reason to be loyal to your club. The club will screw you over and leave you to die, so why should you feel loyal to them? Move around to different locations and keep your options open. This will also prevent burnout.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: i might give it up

    I can't even add mroe to this, except to re-read what GCG and Paris wrote, they have it right on the money. Two weeks, hell even two days from now the manager probably wont even remember a thing he said to you about this.

    Blow it off, keep your head down and your chin up (two cliche's at once, damn!) and make your money.

    Is it possible for you to find another club that fits you better?




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    Default Re: i might give it up

    thank you guys so much. the worst part about the whole thing is that it wasnt even just the manager.. it was other girls and the dj, too. a regular of the club saw me crying and asked what had happened and was the only one that was nice about it, with the exception of one other girl. this morning, i talked to the girl that helped me out last night and she said she was getting annoyed at them for picking on me the way they were, and was the one that said that the manager wouldn't have even said anything to me probably if everybody else hadn't started it.

    regardless, now i 1, feel like a baby, and 2, am just disillusioned i guess about dancing in general. this is the first club that i've genuinely loved everything about it.. management, girls, bouncers, money wise, everything. i guess my thinking was that if i managed to screw things up in a place that i didnt have any real complaints about, what makes me think that it's going to work out for me at another club?

    part of me wants to go back tomorrow (i kinda have to, anyway.. i need the money since i was out for a few weeks) and just ignore everyone and see how it goes. sometimes i just think i'm too big a baby to do that though.

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    Default Re: i might give it up

    It may be better if you are facing animousity at the club to go elsewhere. Some clubs we all fit in better than others.

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    Senior Member destiny2980's Avatar
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    Default Re: i might give it up

    If you like your job then dont give up. Never quit anything over somebody elses drama. If you want to keep dancing then find another club and dance.

  9. #9
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    Default Re: i might give it up

    britt244 - i will repeat Paris's third point because if you can learn this now you will save yourself from alot of future heartbreak:

    3. There is no reason to be loyal to your club. The club will screw you over and leave you to die, so why should you feel loyal to them? Move around to different locations and keep your options open. This will also prevent burnout.

    NEVER EVER put all your eggs in one basket (yes its cliche however so true for us in this industry). You cannot stay loyal to one club - keep one foot out the door at all times and have other options.

    This is the ONLY reason I have been able to stay afloat in this industry and last. Only stay loyal to one club as long as they are loyal to you (in a way). As soon as the working environment becomes unpleasant, move on.

    Always have other options. Always.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

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    Default Re: i might give it up

    go to a different club if you don't want to be watched like a hawk from now on.

  11. #11
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    Default Re: i might give it up

    so.. should i not go to work tomorrow and just wait til monday to go somewhere else?

  12. #12
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    Default Re: i might give it up

    ^^^ That is a decision you have to make as I am not you and I do not live your life and have to accept the repurcussions of my actions.

    You are an adult. Make a decision. Do not be wait to be told to do something like a child.


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  13. #13
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    Default Re: i might give it up

    well.. maybe i should've said what would you do if you were in my shoes?

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    Default Re: i might give it up

    ^^^I think that's a fair question.

    I would go back in and act like nothing happened. If you get any more shit from management, STAND UP to them for god's sake. They're liars and I'd let them know.

    Whatever you do, DON'T CRY. It's almost the worst thing you could do. No one has any sympathy for it. It makes you look weak and guilty and gives them power over you.

    Good luck, sweetie. If it doesn't work out, you can always go to another club. But I'd definitely give this another shot.

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    Default Re: i might give it up

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post
    Stripping basics
    1. There will always be someone who will try to start drama involving you, deserved or not, it happens. If you did nothing wrong, just be strong and forthright in your statement that you did nothing wrong. Attitude is everything in this situation. Tears and histrionics will make others think you are guilty in this business, for some reason.

    2. There is no such thing as "fired" in stripping. After a peroid of time (anywhere from a week to several months) clubs will hire you back. Reguardless of the firing offense, unless you just really pissed off the manager, then you might have to wait for regime change.

    3. There is no reason to be loyal to your club. The club will screw you over and leave you to die, so why should you feel loyal to them? Move around to different locations and keep your options open. This will also prevent burnout.
    Couldn't have said it better myself.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  16. #16
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: i might give it up

    If I was in your shoes, I would go back. Give it another go. If nothing improves then bye bye club. Refer to the "stripper basics" posted by Paris for more info.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

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    Default Re: i might give it up

    thanks guys. every saturday they send out a group text to all the girls asking for their schedules for the next week (they're pretty strict about scheduling here) so if they ask, i'll go back. if not, i'm going to assume i'm not wanted, and who wants to be where they arent wanted? plus, i've never thought twice about leaving a club before, but nothing has ever made me so upset that i wanted to give up dancing, so i figure if it was that bad maybe i shouldn't be there anyway. i know my next stop anyway!

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    Default Re: i might give it up

    update: i'm giving it one more chance. i'm going in on tuesday afternoon and we'll see what happens. and thank you guys again for your advice!

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    Featured Member Starfire's Avatar
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    Default Re: i might give it up

    Is this a baltimore club? I'm just curious to know what to avoid. If I had to guess I would guess you are at scores or hustler I'm always hearing crazy stories about the management at these clubs.

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    Default Re: i might give it up

    update: they had the wrong girl. can someone explain how you make that kind of mistake? it turns out that the dj, since he works at night and i work in the day, didnt pay close enough attention and it wasn't even me. maybe i should be happy that he made a mistake, but i was furious that i was embarrassed that way, very publicly, and then apologized to in private. that doesn't help with the nasty looks and whispered remarks i'm getting from the other girls.

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    Default Re: i might give it up

    Britt

    I say go to another club, but don't quit your job til you have another club lined up. That's really fucked up that they would accuse you of something you didn't do and berate you in front of a room of people. That's tacky.

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