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Thread: This type of guy still puzzles me.

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    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default This type of guy still puzzles me.

    And for some reason I have been getting him every night, over and over and over. It's this process every time:

    Step one: Says he "doesn't ever come to strip clubs" and doesn't really understand the appeal because he "knows how it works" and knows I'm just there to make money.

    Step two: Badgers me for my "real name."

    Step three: Says I'm so much smarter/prettier/cooler/more down to earth than the other girls:

    Step four: Wants to hang out with me OTC, in a "real" environment so we can get to know each other better.

    I know most of you say these guys are just a waste of time, but I have a sneaking suspicion that they are looking for SOMETHING, and if I provide that I can sell them. Any idea what these guys are looking for? I wouldn't even bother with them but they seriously seem to be 7 out of 10 guys recently.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    are we assuming he has money and doesn't mind parting with it? Because I think that's the first step. Determining if he's that kind of guy or some toolbox that read some How To Pick Up Strippers handbook.

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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    In my experience those types of guys don't spend money on you. Yeah, they might want to spend money on you by taking you out to dinner but not the type that you get money out of unless they're wanting to be a sugardaddy or something. Those types I end up blowing off real quick afterward what they say.

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    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    Yes, I definitely think the first step is figuring it if they have money they're willing to part with, and I'm not sure how to do this.

    I just thought of something: Saying that I typically don't go out with guys from the club, but would consider it if the chemistry was right. Let's go get all worked up together and see if we (give slow sexy once-over and then look directly into his eyes) mesh (devilish smile).

    I don't know...just a thought.

    At any rate, screw these guys. I actually had a guy tell me the other night, "I'm not here to spend money. I just come here to meet a nice girl and have a nice conversation. I don't understand why so many of the girls just want to take your money and aren't here to have fun and meet nice guys." Wow. Ok, first, thankyouthankyouthankyou for telling me that and second: what a fucking loser! The mind wobbles.

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    now wait, i think there is something totally salvageable and I think you *can* sell it. you just have to play it right, like emily said, it's really important to distinguish the ones who are BS from the ones who will spend. if they spend, they just like you to know that (they think) it's no fantasy to them, and that they appreciate your genuine demeanor. i have a reg like this, and he's fantastic money. he knows that i wont meet him OTC but still he pressures. this has been going on for over 4 months, him coming in to see me and me dealing with this... but it's worth it!!! (with me, it's gotten to the point of him realizing that this is our relationship, in club only, deal with it. )

    so here's my reply to each:

    Quote Originally Posted by Dottie Rebel View Post
    Step one: Says he "doesn't ever come to strip clubs" and doesn't really understand the appeal because he "knows how it works" and knows I'm just there to make money.
    that's good. because it's important to know that this is a lot of fun in moderation. (it's like the "don't come too often" signal makes them wanna come more?) i ignore the you're just here for money comment and move on. -OR- i say, that's good, because sometimes people don't realize that i'm here to earn money.

    Step two: Badgers me for my "real name."
    i have a stage name that is a real name: chrissy. "Christine. chrissy was my nick name in high school.i've got nothing to hide!" -or- tell them a made up/your actual real name.

    Step three: Says I'm so much smarter/prettier/cooler/more down to earth than the other girls
    smile, take compliment. make other good conversation. eeexxxxxcellent.

    Step four: Wants to hang out with me OTC, in a "real" environment so we can get to know each other better.
    "i need to get comfortable first. i mean, i just met you." if they ask HOW they do that, you say, "well, i guess you can visit me here (works best if you've done a dance/vp with them) until i am ready. thanks for being a gentleman and not pressuring me. that makes me respect you so much!"

    Key words/phrases: gentleman, not pressuring me, me respect you. those words are assumptive, and play into the whole assumptive selling technique. you are complimenting him and reassuring him that he IS going to do that. period. unless he just never comes to see you again. but he will. because you are dottie rebel.
    Last edited by Chrissy68; 01-26-2007 at 05:18 AM. Reason: edited to add: wow! 1000th post neato! *wants balloons and a gold star*

    Love it!

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    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    For you Chrissy:



    and


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    God/dess Pretty_Penny's Avatar
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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    uhhg i know what you mean. i (after having dealt with them over and over and over) finally snapped yesterday to one being particularly bitter/whiny/playing games and just said "WHY......ARE......YOU.....HERE..." and when he started to give some vauge answer i said "NONONO....WHY....ARE...YOU....HERE..." and stared at him like "????????"

    he got up and left.

    good.

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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    Can I weigh in on this as a guy?

    My guess would be that these are guys seeking some sort of intimacy, but also seeking some validation that they can get a good-looking woman to talk with them without paying for it... These guys may think they are players but they're not...

    I would recommend a response along the lines of... "if you know how it works, then you know I can't just sit here with you for free." Do it in a teasing manner, like you're letting them in on a secret.... maybe tell them how much you have to tip out for the house... get them to either pay for a dance or pay for your time... maybe ask them if they ever go to the movies and they see when the police detectives go to the clubs, they still have to pay the girls for their time even when they just want to talk...

    Give them a "fake" real name... but make it like a big deal... be like "I don't usually tell anyone this, but my real name is ____" and whisper it into their ear when you do...

    When they tell you how great, cool, smart you are... play along by saying something like, "You're such a gentleman for noticing. Most of these guys just come in to check out the naked girls."

    Considering you're probably not going to meet them out of the club, just put that off by letting them know that you don't meet anyone until you've seen them quite a few times in the club environment and know them better. That'll set the serious ones up to come back and spend more money on you. As for the ones that are just trying to run a line on you... it'll let them down easy...

    And yes, there are a lot of guys now who've read a "How to Pick up Strippers" handbook or website or have read "The Game" by Neil Strauss and imagine themselves to be these irresistable pick-up artists...

    But don't worry ladies... in the face of a naked/topless woman, almost all of us are still pretty helpless

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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    These are the types of guys you have to sit with for a looooong time until he finally gets maybe one dance from you. I've had plenty of them myself It's not worth your time for that one dance. It seems that they think that one dance is plenty and now you should go to dinner. When are guys going to learn that this isn't a goddamn dating service!

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    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Pretty_Penny View Post
    uhhg i know what you mean. i (after having dealt with them over and over and over) finally snapped yesterday to one being particularly bitter/whiny/playing games and just said "WHY......ARE......YOU.....HERE..." and when he started to give some vauge answer i said "NONONO....WHY....ARE...YOU....HERE..." and stared at him like "????????"

    he got up and left.

    good.
    I hear you, sister. Like most of us, I've dealt with this for years. But for some reason my tolerance for it has just. run. out. I've been snapping at them. I decided I should try to work it to my advantage because it's happening so frequently.


    Bradford--that's all good advice. thanks for sharing.

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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    Slow paced club atmospheres create this kind of customer. If these same guys walk into a club with high energy such as the more "wanna dance" types of clubs with a jivey DJ and good stage momentum, where table dances are being done all around them and stage tips are freely flowing, then this type of guy will feel compelled to go with the flow or look like an outcast.

    So many guys now are looking for sex or a girlfriend when going in the clubs. Too much sitting and talking has actually made this business worse. They need to be reminded that a strip club is a business, that it is like an 8-5 job for us, and our pay only comes from dance sales

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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    ^^Agreed with that. These guys fall through the cracks OR learn to put up or shut up in better clubs. This is one reason I don't bother working in slow clubs. I can't stand dealing with shitheads like that. It's much better for my sanity to just walk away while he's still flapping his trap and move on to the next target.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dottie Rebel View Post
    "I'm not here to spend money. I just come here to meet a nice girl and have a nice conversation. I don't understand why so many of the girls just want to take your money and aren't here to have fun and meet nice guys."
    "I do have fun at WORK, but do YOU go to WORK just to meet nice people and NOT make any money???" With extra emphasis on the word WORK. I do it with a sly kinda grin and wink/giggle, and it usually stops him right in his tracks. Sometimes he'll buy, sometimes not, but it makes the point and shuts him up at least. And it sure does wonders for my sanity too

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tina View Post
    Slow paced club atmospheres create this kind of customer. If these same guys walk into a club with high energy such as the more "wanna dance" types of clubs with a jivey DJ and good stage momentum, where table dances are being done all around them and stage tips are freely flowing, then this type of guy will feel compelled to go with the flow or look like an outcast.

    So many guys now are looking for sex or a girlfriend when going in the clubs. Too much sitting and talking has actually made this business worse. They need to be reminded that a strip club is a business, that it is like an 8-5 job for us, and our pay only comes from dance sales
    This is a really good point, Tina.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tina View Post
    Slow paced club atmospheres create this kind of customer. If these same guys walk into a club with high energy such as the more "wanna dance" types of clubs with a jivey DJ and good stage momentum, where table dances are being done all around them and stage tips are freely flowing, then this type of guy will feel compelled to go with the flow or look like an outcast.
    This is spot on. My club is unfortunately like this but luckily later in the night when the crowds start to come in these PL's start to head for the door coz they realise that when dancers have the option of paying customer vs lonely heart time-waster they will always take the paying customer.
    This is why as I mentioned in the other thread on a similar topic I have such a HUGE problem with dancers who give these guys their time for free and fuel this type of behaviour.
    My tolerance for it is zero.
    I don't want to know how to turn it into a sale because:
    (a) it will be one dance max and $20 one at that rather than $50
    (b) they will expect u to hang around with them forever before and after that one dance
    (c) it will be emotionally exhausting to deal with this customer and their neediness.

    They don't deserve anyone's attention IMO. Actually anyone who comes into a SC and states that they have no intention of spending money should be promptly ignored or shown the door if I managed the place
    They are typically the type of man who can't get the attention of any decent looking woman at a regular bar so they come to a SC and think that the dancers should donate their time to them.

    Come on girls please ignore these men.
    I encountered one on thursday night and as soon as he started with that crap I turned around and started talking to someone else! I don't even do the courtesy of ending the conversation in a civil manner.

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    buffie06
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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dottie Rebel View Post
    And for some reason I have been getting him every night, over and over and over. It's this process every time:

    Step one: Says he "doesn't ever come to strip clubs" and doesn't really understand the appeal because he "knows how it works" and knows I'm just there to make money.

    Step two: Badgers me for my "real name."

    Step three: Says I'm so much smarter/prettier/cooler/more down to earth than the other girls:

    Step four: Wants to hang out with me OTC, in a "real" environment so we can get to know each other better.

    I know most of you say these guys are just a waste of time, but I have a sneaking suspicion that they are looking for SOMETHING, and if I provide that I can sell them. Any idea what these guys are looking for? I wouldn't even bother with them but they seriously seem to be 7 out of 10 guys recently.
    IMO this type of guy has dated a stripper before and thinks he can only date strippers. He doesn't understand why hes only attracted to strippers and pretends it upsets and puzzles him. He has bad relationships with them, yet continues to persue them. I have a few guy friend like this. They are arrogant and clueless. One of my friends sounds like you mentioned and will even buy an hour or so worth of dances and go as far as to tell the dancer if she wants to persue anything with him she wont make him pay her. WTF?!! My advice on these guys..... get away!

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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Tina View Post
    Slow paced club atmospheres create this kind of customer. If these same guys walk into a club with high energy such as the more "wanna dance" types of clubs with a jivey DJ and good stage momentum, where table dances are being done all around them and stage tips are freely flowing, then this type of guy will feel compelled to go with the flow or look like an outcast.

    So many guys now are looking for sex or a girlfriend when going in the clubs. Too much sitting and talking has actually made this business worse. They need to be reminded that a strip club is a business, that it is like an 8-5 job for us, and our pay only comes from dance sales

    Amen ! Say it sista!

    Unfortunately, this is so damn true! If the club was busy with enough patrons within the place so that 80% of the dancers (at the very least) are too busy WORKING (actually doing a dance or dancing on stage or similiar) then they wouldn't be there as they would feel like an outcast (as they should!).

    Yet alot of clubs and I mean ALOT do not operate like this every day or it takes hours before it does reach that stage. *sigh*

    Bradford offered some assistance. You could try to see if you can sell these patrons if you seem to come up against them alot. At the same time, see if these patrons only seem to be around during the slow time so you just wait it out (don't try to sell them) til the usually busy time of the night.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    I have such a HUGE problem with dancers who give these guys their time for free and fuel this type of behaviour.
    My tolerance for it is zero.
    I don't want to know how to turn it into a sale because:
    (a) it will be one dance max and $20 one at that rather than $50
    (b) they will expect u to hang around with them forever before and after that one dance
    (c) it will be emotionally exhausting to deal with this customer and their neediness.

    They don't deserve anyone's attention IMO. Actually anyone who comes into a SC and states that they have no intention of spending money should be promptly ignored or shown the door if I managed the place
    They are typically the type of man who can't get the attention of any decent looking woman at a regular bar so they come to a SC and think that the dancers should donate their time to them.
    Amen sista!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    Come on girls please ignore these men.
    I encountered one on thursday night and as soon as he started with that crap I turned around and started talking to someone else! I don't even do the courtesy of ending the conversation in a civil manner.
    Me too. Fuck 'em. If more girls would treat these dipshits this way, we'd start seeing a whole lot less of them. So I beg you girls, PLEASE DO YOUR PART. IGNORE THE NEEDY TIME-WASTERS!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    I'm doing my part, but you're preaching to the choir here!

    We know SWers are savvy. If you're ready Hustle Hut, you know better.

    And you know what the irony is....I bet if you did date them, they'd dump you right after you fucked them because they never had respect for you in the first place because you're a stripper.

    But there are some guys that are worth their salt. These guys are obvious because they will give you money for talking to them as soon as they snap back into reality (that it's a strip club, not a singles club.) You know the type...."I don't do dances, but I know your time is valuable.... (insert nice tip) gosh you're so beautiful."

    But the, "I want your real name and get to know you"...fuck no.

    Well....my real name is Emily, and Emily will tell you to fuck yourself and Buffy will smile lovingly in your eyes for a mere $20. Are you sure you want the real me?

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    God/dess Dottie Rebel's Avatar
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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    Don't get me wrong--I am the LAST dancer in my club who would sit with one of these guys and entertain their bullshit all night long. I'll sit with them for three songs and try my damnedest to close that sale. I'm just trying to figure out if there is a way it can be done that I haven't been trying, which was the point of the thread.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    Generally no, there's no point. Simpler to just move along to the next target, use that time on a BETTER target. I like walking off while they're still talking, without a word. They'll sometimes call after me, and I act like I didn't even hear them as I move right to another guy and start my flirt/hustle

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    AlexxaHex
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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette View Post
    I like walking off while they're still talking, without a word. They'll sometimes call after me, and I act like I didn't even hear them as I move right to another guy and start my flirt/hustle
    I thought I was the only one who did this! I think they deserve it...and DAMN it feels amazing to ignore some dipshit who's trying to hustle me in my place of hustling.

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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    ughh ME TOO!!! 75% of my time is refusing to dish out my real name, taking really nice compliments about how wonderful and different I am and explaining to them that I don't meet people outside of the club, not getting that much $ from them, etc. Sometimes they get a dance or two, but no big deal. I also hate when a guy won't tell me his name because I won't tell him my name. I always tell them I don't know any of the girls real names either so he's not the only one. I use the angle that I give them my real self and personality, but not name and most of the girls don't even give you that. ::shrugs:: It's so hard to figure out what works for what guy.
    Was DestyDoll, just changed to keep up with my new dance name.

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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dottie Rebel View Post
    At any rate, screw these guys. I actually had a guy tell me the other night, "I'm not here to spend money. I just come here to meet a nice girl and have a nice conversation. I don't understand why so many of the girls just want to take your money and aren't here to have fun and meet nice guys." Wow. Ok, first, thankyouthankyouthankyou for telling me that and second: what a fucking loser! The mind wobbles.
    GOD! We go to the club to make money and if we meet nice guys who make our job easier, it's an added bonus, just like everyone else in ever other industry. When a nice guy goes a few dancers with me, I always tell him that he makes my job easy and I enjoy working for him. This lets them know that yes I am working, but I am much happier to be with him than anyone else in the club and I truley appreciate the money he is giving me and his company.

    When guys give me trouble, I use the example of a doctor. Why don't you accuse your doctor of only being nice to you and only trying to keep you healthy because he's getting loads of money from you? Why shouldn't he do that for free? After all, you've been going to him for years, you know him and are friendly with him, he should be excited to see you step into his office and more than willing to spend an hour with you using his job skills for free instead of seeing other patients that have money for him. It's the SAME THING! We are working but prefer to work with customers that we are comfortable with and like and appreciate nice/friendly customers that we click with, just like a doctor probably has a number of patients that he gets along with well and enjoys their visits more than others. But he will still see the people he doesn't know or get along with, and he will still charge the patients that he is very friendly with. That's how any job is. Should you're waitress at the diner forfeit her tip or give you a free meal because you had a really nice 10 min conversation with her? Should your hairdresser cut your hair for free because every time you come in she really enjoys your conversation? I'm sure she does enjoy your conversation, but she's still going to charge you, she has bills to pay. But I'm sure she is happy that she enjoyed the time at work while you were in. But you still have to PAY!!!!!
    Was DestyDoll, just changed to keep up with my new dance name.

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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    Well....my real name is Emily, and Emily will tell you to fuck yourself and Buffy will smile lovingly in your eyes for a mere $20. Are you sure you want the real me?
    That is such a great point.

    1 Buffy, please, with fries.

  25. #25
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    Default Re: This type of guy still puzzles me.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dottie Rebel View Post
    Step one: Says he "doesn't ever come to strip clubs" and doesn't really understand the appeal because he "knows how it works" and knows I'm just there to make money.
    You're right, I am only here to make money, but the more comfortable I am with a guy, the more he gets for his money. I suggest you make me really comfortable by starting with six dances.

    Quote Originally Posted by Dottie Rebel View Post
    I know most of you say these guys are just a waste of time, but I have a sneaking suspicion that they are looking for SOMETHING, and if I provide that I can sell them. Any idea what these guys are looking for?
    A free lay.

    -Ev

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