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Thread: So an acquaintnance of mine...

  1. #1
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default So an acquaintnance of mine...

    Asked me for some advice on how to have better sex with his wife. I just don't know how to tell someone how they can make thier wife loser in the bedroom, esp in this situation. I told him, she needs some slutty friends to influence her. LOL.

    Anyway, he is trying really hard not to cheat on the mother of his kid. Which, I told him not to. But he's tempted to bang this girl he showed me a picture of. Very HOT Dominican chic with a crazy ass.

    He was telling me how the wife is really lame. He told me she treats sex like a chore, has to be clean(tissues to clean the jizz), doesn't wear sexy lingerie(never attempted, wtf)....get this, covers her face when giving a BJ. Schedules the sex like a hair appointment, she tells him at 10pm we're gonna have sex. Doesn't talk dirty. Doesn't use toys or lube, she told him ..."I'm not using none of that crap." No anal(although that's not for everyone), which he loves(I would at least try). Freaks out if there's a finger near her ass when she's riding him. Hates porn and finds it very offensive. Treats sex like it's really dirty(as in gross). Just a straight up total prude, I didn't tell him that of course.

    He loves his wife and kid. He says she's everything a man would want as a wife, but is totally lame in bed. She's gorgeous, i've seen her picture.

    I just don't know how someone can marry someone who is that prude and boring, when he's the total opposite.

  2. #2
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: So an acquaintnance of mine...

    This is why we have prostitutes.

  3. #3
    Veteran Member Vampira132's Avatar
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    Default Re: So an acquaintnance of mine...

    I bet if he told her that he was gona cheat on her I am sure she would change her ways...

    Has he tried telling her that she's lame in bed?
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    Default Re: So an acquaintnance of mine...

    delete
    Last edited by Janessa; 03-17-2013 at 10:57 PM.

  5. #5
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: So an acquaintnance of mine...

    Quote Originally Posted by Vampira132 View Post
    I bet if he told her that he was gona cheat on her I am sure she would change her ways...

    Has he tried telling her that she's lame in bed?
    Seriously, she needs to losen the hell up. BUT that is his fault bc I asked him if it was like that in the beginning, he said not much. IMO, if you're going to marry someone...marry a person who gives you mind blowing sex. God, to me that is so important.

    Anyway, yeah I agree with you. I told him that. To be blunt, and tell her straight up. She sounds like a kid who finds everything gross. It's quite sad.

    She also doesn't like to receive oral. Whaaaa

  6. #6
    Veteran Member Vampira132's Avatar
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    Default Re: So an acquaintnance of mine...

    Quote Originally Posted by Vyanka View Post
    Seriously, she needs to losen the hell up. BUT that is his fault bc I asked him if it was like that in the beginning, he said not much. IMO, if you're going to marry someone...marry a person who gives you mind blowing sex. God, to me that is so important.

    Anyway, yeah I agree with you. I told him that. To be blunt, and tell her straight up. She sounds like a kid who finds everything gross. It's quite sad.

    She also doesn't like to receive oral. Whaaaa

    Whats wrong with this woman?!?


    Well its his life I suppose but I'd feel sorry for his kid if his wife did actually find out.
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  7. #7
    Veteran Member christian211's Avatar
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    Default Re: So an acquaintnance of mine...

    Alright, I had this prob for about six months after my first kid. It sucked!!!! I felt very virginal and motherly, like, I'm a good girl now, I can't have dirrrrty sex!!!! Tell him to give her some time, although I don't know how old the baby is. If the kid is like 4 yo, then he should maybe suggest going to a shrink to resolve her Madonna and the whore complex. And honestly, if this doesn't get fixed, and she truly is the perfect mother and wife and he doesn't want a divorce, I would recommend he get a little on the side a few times a year. I remember I told my husband when this was happening to me, if I don't snap out of it in a couple of months, I give you permission to go fuck someone!!! Nobody flame me, I know he would never take me up on the offer, he's like a puppy dog, lol, but I was dead serious!!!

    It's a shitty situation, but I hear it happens more often than people think.

  8. #8
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: So an acquaintnance of mine...

    No, Christian. He told me she was always not that fun before the kid.

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    Veteran Member christian211's Avatar
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    Default Re: So an acquaintnance of mine...

    OK, then that's crap,lol!!!! He should've never married her. Sex becomes VERY important in a marriage. Sometimes it becomes the only real communication you have with each other for a few days.

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    Featured Member aviendha's Avatar
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    Default Re: So an acquaintnance of mine...

    Her being lousy in bed isn't justification for him to cheat. If it bugs him that much, he should ask for a divorce.

  11. #11
    Veteran Member christian211's Avatar
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    Default Re: So an acquaintnance of mine...

    Some people are dead set against divorce. I am one of them. It is what it is. Soooo, they shouldn't have gotten married. Is it leap first, then look???

  12. #12
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: So an acquaintnance of mine...

    Even if she's a rotten wife (and if this is the case, then she is; this is emotional abuse, pure and simple), she may still be a good mother. And in that case, they may feel that it's best to stay together for their children. There's no reason to punish the kids with a divorce just because mommy's a cold fish.

    He needs to explain that she is hurting him and damaging their relationship by depriving him of enjoyable marital intimacy. If she continues doing this, then I think it would be perfectly understandable for him to meet his needs elsewhere. He just needs to stay safe (meaning STRICT condom usage and no evidence), and not let it affect his home life. It's really sad when people are in this situation, but it would be completely unreasonable to expect a man to live celibate indefinitely just because his wife is frigid.

  13. #13
    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: So an acquaintnance of mine...

    Maybe theres something underlying her insecurities with anything new in bed. A sex therapist maybe? I would try everything before resorting to hawwt latinas (hehe) or a divorce.

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: So an acquaintnance of mine...

    It sounds like she's not even trying. He needs to make the first step and TALK to her about it! Maybe she doesn't even know that she sucks... But I can't understand why she doesn't at least TRY stuff. Geez.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Veteran Member Bellona's Avatar
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    Default Re: So an acquaintnance of mine...

    If he's carrying around a pic of another chick he's already set on cheating, whether shes into sex or not he married her and she was good enough then.. Sorry but the fact that he is talking to a acquaintnance about his problems with his wife is fucking lame..I would'nt want to be married to him.

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    Default Re: So an acquaintnance of mine...

    i'm one of those people that believes that there is way more to a relationship than sex. From what i understood from the OP, the wife is having sex with him, just not "fun" sex. Therefore it's not like he is not getting some at all and has to be celibate for life or anything. Also he finds another girl attractive and wants to cheat but for all he knows she is exactly the same way in bed as his wife. Short of going ahead and having sex with someone there's not much of a way of knowing how someone will be in bed. i agree that they need to sit down and talk about thier problems before any actions are taken. But even then if she doesn't want to do anything different in bed it still should not result in cheating automatically. And if it does end in divorce i would seriously hope it would be related to something more important than bad sex.

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    Default Re: So an acquaintnance of mine...

    thats a little weird that he is even telling you about his sex life. I see red flags all over that. I would be fucking pissed if my husband told another chick what happened sexually between he and I.

    He prob wants you too!

  18. #18
    Veteran Member jessica_rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: So an acquaintnance of mine...

    I think he's just trying to justify cheating on her. Besides, that's HIS point of view. He's probably really insensitive to her needs. She might just loosen up if he tried a little more forplay, romance, whatever. Even if it is that bad though, it's pretty shitty to be telling other people about it. He should be talking to her.

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    God/dess pookie's Avatar
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    Default Re: So an acquaintnance of mine...

    She does come off as a tad bit anal, but its not so bad.

    I dont think its wrong if she doesnt like certain things. She she could improve on things like not making a chore.

    But what you wrote about your friend, especially with claiming he really loves her so much, he shows a poor attitude towards her.

    I think its sad he is treat his wife as thought its just 'sex' and not 'making love'

    I am totally disgusted that he would even consider cheating on her.




  20. #20
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: So an acquaintnance of mine...

    Being in love with someone who's not attracted to you, sexually or otherwise. This is not a foreign concept.

    It sucks, when you aren't on equal planes. He has 2 options.

    He can honor his commitment to this woman in the dark times and try to fix it, and if he remains unhappy go through the throws of divorce, thusly doing it the right way and giving value and integrity to the promise he made to someone he claims to love.

    Or he can aid the masses in belief that for some reason, their trials in life allow them to not take responsibility for their actions like 90% of the males in this world.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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