Results 1 to 18 of 18

Thread: how do i deal with this situation??

  1. #1
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Location
    melbourne australia
    Posts
    10,144
    Thanks
    328
    Thanked 219 Times in 133 Posts

    Default how do i deal with this situation??

    Lately I seem to be finally able to sell multiple dances. WHen I started out I nnever did but now I make most of my money from one, two or three guys per night who buy heaps of dances. On saturday night a guy who was only 20 initially bought a $50 (2-song) dance and then he bought another $50. Then later in the night he came back and then just kept getting dances. But as the night went on I realised that he was really infatuated with me and I started feeling guilty like maybe I should not keep taking his money.

    Then he said that he has "really helped me out tonight" - as in by spending so much money and "i better get something out of all of this" to which i replied "you have been getting something, u have been getting dances" and he said "yeh but after all the money i have spent i should get your phone number".

    I could not believe this mentality. I am providing a service for which he is paying me for and he is trying to make out that he has HELPED me out and now I need to give him my number.

    I just stayed friendly coz I wanted to make more money from him and said come on we are having fun lets keep dancing. Even though what he said was an arsehole thing to say, I still feel like I took advantage of his feelings/lust for me and I dont know why but I felt really shit at the end of the night.

    Does anyone else ever feel like this?

    It's not the first time it happened. It's been happening for weeks, I do dance after dance and then they ask for my number. Is this really common or am I doing something to cause this?

  2. #2
    God/dess fancygirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Feb 2005
    Location
    California
    Posts
    3,776
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: how do i deal with this situation??

    give him a stripper myspace profile or an email. never a phone number.

    best response: You have to spend a lot more than that -naughty grin-

  3. #3
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Location
    melbourne australia
    Posts
    10,144
    Thanks
    328
    Thanked 219 Times in 133 Posts

    Default Re: how do i deal with this situation??

    that's a good idea. i only have a private email and myspace but i might have to make a stripper one. thanks for the suggestion.

  4. #4
    Veteran Member dollyrocker's Avatar
    Joined
    Dec 2006
    Location
    DFW
    Posts
    693
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 11 Times in 7 Posts

    Default Re: how do i deal with this situation??

    No, don't feel guilty, thats what he deserved! *evil grin*

  5. #5
    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Location
    The VIP room
    Posts
    3,621
    Thanks
    47
    Thanked 187 Times in 58 Posts

    Default Re: how do i deal with this situation??

    I think there are two types of dancers (well, more than two, but you know). One is comfortable selling a dream of meeting outside the club and one is not. I have never been able to blow smoke up guys asses to make money. If they want a dance I'll do it, but I can't get into an involved fantasy with them. I have a guilty conscience and if I feel I'm taking advantage of someone I'll always back off. This may hurt my money sometimes, but I have be able to look at myself in the mirror, you know?
    Check out my new eBay auctions.......

  6. #6
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Location
    melbourne australia
    Posts
    10,144
    Thanks
    328
    Thanked 219 Times in 133 Posts

    Default Re: how do i deal with this situation??

    Quote Originally Posted by Andygirl View Post
    I have a guilty conscience and if I feel I'm taking advantage of someone I'll always back off. This may hurt my money sometimes, but I have be able to look at myself in the mirror, you know?
    My manager told me to leave my heart at the door when I come to work but I'm just not that type of person or dancer. I do know what u mean.

  7. #7
    God/dess Andygirl's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2006
    Location
    The VIP room
    Posts
    3,621
    Thanks
    47
    Thanked 187 Times in 58 Posts

    Default Re: how do i deal with this situation??

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    My manager told me to leave my heart at the door when I come to work but I'm just not that type of person or dancer. I do know what u mean.

    Well, my mama raised me better than that. I can't remove my heart from the equation. There are plenty of guys who will pay and not make me feel that way, so I'm content to go for them. I'll sell my body, but my soul isn't on the block.
    Check out my new eBay auctions.......

  8. #8
    Newbie Mike82's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    6
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: how do i deal with this situation??

    Next time give him the phone # to your local chinese restaurant.

  9. #9
    Veteran Member layka's Avatar
    Joined
    Mar 2006
    Location
    Oh..Here and There
    Posts
    461
    Thanks
    86
    Thanked 56 Times in 20 Posts
    My Mood
    Breezy

    Default Re: how do i deal with this situation??

    Quote Originally Posted by Mike82 View Post
    Next time give him the phone # to your local chinese restaurant.
    Yep, that's a way to definately piss him off. I agree with Andygirl. You have to pretty much make it black or white. Don't get me wrong, I care about the guys feelings to an extent, but I'm also concerned about her/our safety. I always try to remain pleasant b/c their's people out their that can't take rejection. We work in an industry that we sell fantisies but I try to avoid leading guys on b/c I don't want to encourage stalkers, nor cause a stranger grief b/c we don't know what state of mind they're in. If you feel comfortable give him your email, but if he shows signs of even a hint of lunatic desperation cut his ass off immedietly.
    If you don't stand for something, you fall for ANYTHING.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  10. #10
    Featured Member london's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2004
    Location
    http://playtimewithsandra.com
    Posts
    1,068
    Thanks
    708
    Thanked 300 Times in 136 Posts
    My Mood
    Yeehaw

    Default Re: how do i deal with this situation??

    Give him the number to the club where you are working. That way, you protect your own ass in the event that your club has rules against giving out your personal number or the rare event that he is an officer of the law.
    The Official Sandra London Website and Blog

    My Live and Grind Emporium:


    Listen to Playtime with Sandra Radio.


  11. #11
    Featured Member 21stcenturyfox's Avatar
    Joined
    May 2004
    Location
    UK
    Posts
    943
    Thanks
    463
    Thanked 411 Times in 137 Posts

    Default Re: how do i deal with this situation??

    i hate it when guys try to guilt trip you into doing what they want.

    fuck them! they wouldnt let us do it to them, so dont let them do it to you.
    "Sex is currency. What's the use of being beautiful if you can't profit from it?" - Lily St Cyr (40's burlesque dancer)

  12. #12
    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
    Joined
    Oct 2005
    Posts
    1,936
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 32 Times in 26 Posts

    Default Re: how do i deal with this situation??

    No reason to feel bad. The guy was being manipulative, and had no reason to think he would get anything other than the dances he paid for. Good for you for not responding to the guilt trip. As for "taking advantage" -- guys lust for us. That's why we make money. Now, if you really thought a customer had a puppy crush on you and you were letting him think you might eventually date him, that's a gray area. I personally can't make myself do it, but that's a choice every dancer has to make for herself.

  13. #13
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
    Joined
    Jun 2006
    Location
    melbourne australia
    Posts
    10,144
    Thanks
    328
    Thanked 219 Times in 133 Posts

    Default Re: how do i deal with this situation??

    My club does not allow giving out of numbers they consider it solicitation so i could not even give him a fake one or chinese restaurant if i wanted to - i do not want to however as he might come back in all pissed off about that.

    There is no way I would risk being accused of or charged with solicitation so I would never give a number out.

    I don't lead them on to think i would date them as i agree with the other post that this could lead to a stalker or a disgruntled person.

    I was just doing my thing dancing and he was being manipulative - very true.

  14. #14
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2002
    Location
    Gettin the fuck outta Dodge!
    Posts
    14,241
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 0 Times in 0 Posts

    Default Re: how do i deal with this situation??

    If you've told him you're not giving him your number and he keeps buying dances, it's HIS problem, not yours. Some guys are just testing the waters, so to speak. Trying to see if they'll get somewhere if they just ask. Rationally they KNOW we're not in the business to socialize, but they want to THINK we're not. If you're getting them that worked up, you're doing your job right. It's a bit of a catch 22 - they WANT us to make them think we're all into them, or that there's more to it than just money for us. But they KNOW better. If at the end of the night a guy can't come back to reality, well it's his problem - provided you didn't tell him you'd go out with him or give him a number.

    I never give them my number, tell them I'll call or anything. But I do my best to keep them buying, by being goofy as I'm turning them down and then rolling right on with the "fun". If they are having fun and have the money, and aren't too weird about not "getting anything", they'll keep buying.

    My usual turndown line is to giggle and say "aw you know I can't do that", and then do some sexy move or turn the conversation to something more fun. Deflect and divert, but don't lead them on.

    And quit feeling guilty when you're not doing anything wrong.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  15. #15
    Veteran Member Innocense's Avatar
    Joined
    Nov 2006
    Location
    Irvine, CA
    Posts
    226
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 10 Times in 9 Posts

    Default Re: how do i deal with this situation??

    I hate these guys. Just because they spend money on you they think they own you. Honestly, I don't feel bad when I take their money......AT ALL. Here are my reasons:

    1. I never promised something more. When I approach a guy I say: "hey handsome. Would you like a lap dance? We have $20 dances and VIP shows" I don't say: "hey, we have VIP shows, and if you take more than 2 then I'll give you my phone # at the end of the night. Or, you'll have a chance of meeting me outside the club" I promise a dance and I deliver, I don't promise phone #, so don't come crying to me if you thought you were gonna get it.

    2. I work at a strip club. "WORK" everybody knows that you work because you need money, right? Everybody knows that a stripper gets dressed up, puts her make up on, and dances her ass off because she gets paid to do that. She sells a fantasy and a bunch of guys buy it. If a guy is too damn stupid not to see it, then that is just too bad.....for him.

    3. I'm not pointing a gun to his had telling him I'll shoot him if he doesn't get a lap dance. if he says yes, it is only because he wants to do it. I mean, why would I feel bad if he wants to give me money????

    am i evel?
    Last edited by Innocense; 01-31-2007 at 11:11 PM.

  16. #16
    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
    Joined
    Apr 2005
    Location
    Another Country
    Posts
    18,664
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 148 Times in 100 Posts

    Default Re: how do i deal with this situation??

    You never owe anybody anything.

    Ever.


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

  17. #17
    God/dess Polekitten's Avatar
    Joined
    Jul 2005
    Location
    Uk
    Posts
    2,222
    Thanks
    0
    Thanked 5 Times in 5 Posts

    Default Re: how do i deal with this situation??

    I really agree with Innocence on this one. Its our job to take their money, you wouldnt be doing your job right unless you took it. There is no need to feel guilty, its not as if the guys not getting anything out of it, he's getting an amazing lapdance from a beautiful sexy woman! You cant blame him for asking I suppose, it only shows that you must be good at you job.



    "I don't take a piss without getting paid for it." - Harlan Ellison

    Life is movement, movement is life.
    To live is to move, to move is to be alive.
    - Mirka Knaster


    Quote Originally Posted by pixierocksonthepole View Post
    "tampons are proof that God exsists."

  18. #18
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
    Joined
    Sep 2003
    Location
    SoCal
    Posts
    7,772
    Thanks
    2
    Thanked 40 Times in 35 Posts

    Default Re: how do i deal with this situation??

    Of course they become infatuated with you! However, that is not your problem. (Although they will try to convince you that it IS your problem... that guy with the "helping you out" crap is a prime example.)
    I always just assume that they will bitch about it to a friend who will then smack them upside the head and say, "Helllooooooo, dumbass! She was a STRIPPER!"

    It's just another way to look down on you. Fuck that.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

Similar Threads

  1. What do I do in this situation?
    By pamand in forum Other Work
    Replies: 17
    Last Post: 03-03-2011, 09:42 AM
  2. Shit deal or good deal? Weigh in!
    By scarlett_vancouver in forum Stripping (was Stripping General)
    Replies: 29
    Last Post: 08-24-2007, 05:49 PM
  3. Replies: 1
    Last Post: 10-02-2006, 12:34 AM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •