Hi all,
I am a bit upset right now. I have been working as a "phone actress" for the past two weeks. I have not received a check from the dispatch center yet because I have not made over $25 yet. Anyhow, I logged in last night for the first time to see if I could get a few more calls. Well, the dispatch office called me and I didn't answer the phone...why? Because I am use to seeing a different area code and number of the phone line. So I had been logged in for about 45mins with no action, therefore I decided to log out for the night. Well I go to log out and it keeps saying that I am not in the system. So I called the dispatch center to see what the problem was and I was told that they had call to see if I was picking up on the first ring and she said that unfortunately she was in charge of the board tonight and I didn't pick up the phone and I said, "Oh, that was you that called." She said that yes it was. So she took me out of the system and that I would have to e-mail the company and see what can be done about it.
I'm guessing here that I am out of work. I tried to log in again last night and sure enough it was off. I don't really care because I wasn't making any money anyway. I mean they pay by the minute and they hold a check if it is under $25 and send it with the next one. Just to make $200 for the week I would have had to have 500 minutes at .10 to .40 cents a minute. I can't live on that. Not to mention that a portion of the people that call (men and transsexuals) hang up after just a mintue, sometimes less than that. I might as well go and find a job, which is hard here because they don't really have any expect for the county jobs. My boyfriend works for the county and the stories that he tells me makes my head spin. However, he did joke that I could go on welfare. I mean they hand that out here like candy. No joke. My boyfriend sees the people that come into the office for welfare and only 10% of the people really need it. Everyone else is just to lazy to go out and get a job.
I am fustrated because that is not me, I would rather work my ass off than collect money from the state. I am still trying to lose the weight so that I can dance. Oh, did I mention that I cut of my hair? Yes, I cut off my hair because the up keep was to much for me. My bf had asked me if I really wanted to do that with wanting to model and everything and I said yes. I was sick of all of the chemicals, losing my hair, having it thin out constantly, and burned scalp. Some people know what I am talking about...creamy crack. I was sick of it. I loved my hair the way it was when I was little. I told him that I can always wear a wig. Its a cute small afro right now.
Sorry I digress, anyhow, I will be hitting the job pavement on Monday. I feel bad, my bf has been taking care of me for the most part. I ordered groceries last night and I asked him what he wanted and he told me to just get stuff for me to eat. He said he knows that I don't have money to help with the bills and he knows that I want to help out some how so I buy the groceries because I cant help out elsewhere, but that I shouldn't spend my money on him. I told him that we need food though. He said that he understood that. But he said he feels bad knowing that I'm doing that because I have no money. That made me sad and I started crying. I went in the bathroom and washed my face because I didn't want him to see me. I feel so stupid. He works almost 60hrs a week to keep a roof over our heads and to pay the huge property tax that he is behind on. He rents out the downstairs and that check pays a good part of the mortgage. Its the property taxes that are bad. He wants to sell the house in the Spring anyway because of that. So I just need to work until the house gets sold. I have bills that are due in a few weeks and I need money. I was thinking about some things that I could do that are well, bad for me and would hurt the person I love so I am going another route. I'll walk the pavement on Monday and workout. That's all I can do for now. (Side note, I've been putting things on my credit card. My bank account back home is over drawn.)
Sorry for the rambling.
Thanks,
Deinell



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