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Thread: I just want to dance

  1. #1
    Senior Member Sweet's Avatar
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    Default I just want to dance

    Hi all,
    I am a bit upset right now. I have been working as a "phone actress" for the past two weeks. I have not received a check from the dispatch center yet because I have not made over $25 yet. Anyhow, I logged in last night for the first time to see if I could get a few more calls. Well, the dispatch office called me and I didn't answer the phone...why? Because I am use to seeing a different area code and number of the phone line. So I had been logged in for about 45mins with no action, therefore I decided to log out for the night. Well I go to log out and it keeps saying that I am not in the system. So I called the dispatch center to see what the problem was and I was told that they had call to see if I was picking up on the first ring and she said that unfortunately she was in charge of the board tonight and I didn't pick up the phone and I said, "Oh, that was you that called." She said that yes it was. So she took me out of the system and that I would have to e-mail the company and see what can be done about it.

    I'm guessing here that I am out of work. I tried to log in again last night and sure enough it was off. I don't really care because I wasn't making any money anyway. I mean they pay by the minute and they hold a check if it is under $25 and send it with the next one. Just to make $200 for the week I would have had to have 500 minutes at .10 to .40 cents a minute. I can't live on that. Not to mention that a portion of the people that call (men and transsexuals) hang up after just a mintue, sometimes less than that. I might as well go and find a job, which is hard here because they don't really have any expect for the county jobs. My boyfriend works for the county and the stories that he tells me makes my head spin. However, he did joke that I could go on welfare. I mean they hand that out here like candy. No joke. My boyfriend sees the people that come into the office for welfare and only 10% of the people really need it. Everyone else is just to lazy to go out and get a job.

    I am fustrated because that is not me, I would rather work my ass off than collect money from the state. I am still trying to lose the weight so that I can dance. Oh, did I mention that I cut of my hair? Yes, I cut off my hair because the up keep was to much for me. My bf had asked me if I really wanted to do that with wanting to model and everything and I said yes. I was sick of all of the chemicals, losing my hair, having it thin out constantly, and burned scalp. Some people know what I am talking about...creamy crack. I was sick of it. I loved my hair the way it was when I was little. I told him that I can always wear a wig. Its a cute small afro right now.

    Sorry I digress, anyhow, I will be hitting the job pavement on Monday. I feel bad, my bf has been taking care of me for the most part. I ordered groceries last night and I asked him what he wanted and he told me to just get stuff for me to eat. He said he knows that I don't have money to help with the bills and he knows that I want to help out some how so I buy the groceries because I cant help out elsewhere, but that I shouldn't spend my money on him. I told him that we need food though. He said that he understood that. But he said he feels bad knowing that I'm doing that because I have no money. That made me sad and I started crying. I went in the bathroom and washed my face because I didn't want him to see me. I feel so stupid. He works almost 60hrs a week to keep a roof over our heads and to pay the huge property tax that he is behind on. He rents out the downstairs and that check pays a good part of the mortgage. Its the property taxes that are bad. He wants to sell the house in the Spring anyway because of that. So I just need to work until the house gets sold. I have bills that are due in a few weeks and I need money. I was thinking about some things that I could do that are well, bad for me and would hurt the person I love so I am going another route. I'll walk the pavement on Monday and workout. That's all I can do for now. (Side note, I've been putting things on my credit card. My bank account back home is over drawn.)

    Sorry for the rambling.
    Thanks,
    Deinell

  2. #2
    Veteran Member layka's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just want to dance

    Honey everything will get better.

    I will be the first to admit that I don't usually post responses to faceless posters, but after reading your post I can completely understand where you're coming from. I have been dealt with my share of lifes lemons, and sometimes simply saying that everything will get better isn't enough, Therefore YOU have to find the strength within yourself to continue.

    Think of it this way, when you hit rock bottom there is no way but up! Try to be gentle yet firm with yourself during life's difficult moments. Set an agenda, if you fail to plan you plan to fail. Sit down and come up with a gameplan. Don't set yourself up for failure. Say to yourself, until I'm satisfied with my weight ( find a happy medium, don't stress yourself with your idea of an ideal dancer body, you may be surprised) I will apply here, work here for X amount of days to pay the bills. But if you do want to dance, don't lose your focus. It sucks that the phone operator job didn't work, but I'm familiar with this hustle so I'm not surprised.

    You just have to find a way to encourage yourself, and don't use your weight as a scapegoat. Unless you're morbidly obese, you can lose pounds and make money by dancing. Trust me, no one is absolutely 100 percent when they start, whether it's their hustle that needs approvement or their body.

    Also.... liquid crack.....yep, LMAO, I just realized a year ago that I had a problem. But I found a communtiy full of HEALTHY supporters, and I grew my hair from ear length to shoulder length in a year. But you have to dedicate yourself to the movement, it's not for the faint of heart. You CAN be a liquid crack addict in a healthy way. ( I just stretched my last relaxer 22 weeks, it can be done!!)
    Here is a link to my hair survival, I'm sure that you will find the forum encouraging, and very informative.

    http://www.longhaircareforum.com/for...isplay.php?f=6
    http://www.longhaircareforum.com/for...d.php?t=108195

    (warning: this hair forum can be highly addictive for women of color)


    Be encouraged.
    Last edited by layka; 02-01-2007 at 10:08 AM. Reason: To add link
    If you don't stand for something, you fall for ANYTHING.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  3. #3
    Senior Member Sweet's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just want to dance

    Thank you Layka,
    I did finally find a picture of myself that is two years old. I put it in my avatar. Those are my old boobs...lol..I thought I looked cute that day.

    Your right though I can't make my weight a scapegoat. If I really want it I have to go and get it. I was looking online for jobs and there are work-at-home jobs, but I can't tell which ones are scams. So I am making a list of some of the well known temp agencies in town and I will call them tomorrow to set up appointments for next week.

    I wish I had found that hair site before I did the big chop. Oh well, it will grow back and I can always perm it again and stretch it out for as long a s possible.

    Thanks again,
    Deinell

  4. #4
    Veteran Member layka's Avatar
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    Default Re: I just want to dance

    Anytime
    If you don't stand for something, you fall for ANYTHING.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

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