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Thread: Childhood Home

  1. #1
    Featured Member southstbabe's Avatar
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    Default Childhood Home

    Well this is it. The closing on my parents house is on Wednesday. The house my father built with a $5,000 loan that my mother thought would take her a lifetime to pay back. I honestly didn't think it would be this hard. I guess I thought my heart couldn't possibly break anymore than it had already had since loosing both my parents within months of eachother. I took a walk through it yesterday for the last time. I went into every room, opened every closet, said goodbye to every inch of it, crying the entire time. All the memories, the weddings, the holidays, the brithdays, the deaths, the births. My parents house was where we all met up. On any given day I could bump into one of my sisters, and aunt, cousin, niece or nephew, or longtime family friend. My cat is burried in the back yard, my hand print along with my sisters are in the sidewalk at the backdoor. Hide and seek, ghost in the graveyard, tag, all played there. Dancing in the rain in the front yard in the summertime. The security of my room, the warmth of the kitchen, the welcome at the front door. Homework at the kitchen table as my mother made dinner. My friend and her little sister running to my house to hide because their father was drunk and fighting with their mother. So many memories. And as I drove home, to top it all off, I turn on the radio and Photograph by Nickelback is playing. I started to cry so hard I had to pull over. Now I can't get that damn song out of my head!

    Sorry to be so sappy, I just had to get it out.

    *reaches for another tissue*
    Last edited by southstbabe; 09-04-2007 at 07:18 AM.

  2. #2
    God/dess RoseWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: Childhood Home

    {{{HUGS}}}

    I know what you are going through. My own childhood home was sold two years ago (unfortunately, for all the wrong reasons, but that's a different story), and I did exactly what you did, walking through each room, feeling it as deeply as I could, trying to memorize every piece of molding, every curve or wrought iron, every tuft of carpet. I even took pictures of what would seem like the most random and meaningless things to an outsider - "What's this? A 70's model microwave? Ooookaaaaay."

    It's a mourning process. It may not be as awful as losing a human being, but it is still like losing a family member. For me, it was giving up the illusion that I still had a home to return to.

    Hugs again - this too shall pass. I still have yet to return there since it sold, but I'm still not quite ready for that - though I will be someday. Letting go can take a long, long time.
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

  3. #3
    Featured Member southstbabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Childhood Home

    Quote Originally Posted by RoseWhite View Post
    For me, it was giving up the illusion that I still had a home to return to..
    That's it exactly. My father always told us, "you can always come home" and that's just what I did when I left my first husband, I ran home.

    *sniffle, anther tissue please*

  4. #4
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    Default Re: Childhood Home

    I'm sorry, sweetie *hands ssb a tissue*


  5. #5
    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Childhood Home

    *climbs up into your lap and pets your head* *drags unlimited supply of tissues*

    It's good that gave it a thorough goodbye. Cherishing what you had there is something that you can never lose.


  6. #6
    Featured Member southstbabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Childhood Home

    *cuddles with Pooka and her tissues*

    thanks sweetie

  7. #7
    Veteran Member ExtacyInDaytona's Avatar
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    Default Re: Childhood Home

    this post had me all choked up never beenthere but geez thats sad!

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Childhood Home

    Wow, great memory, is the process of selling it sad? I mean it wasn't a forced thing was it?

    I am truly jealous, I wish I had an anchor point like that in my life, but I make up for it in other ways.

    One day, for some messed up reason, I drove by the house I grew up in with my real mother. I was kind of upset, it had been sold twice since I lived there, but some of my pups and kitties are back there behind the barn and the last owners weren't so O.K. with me visiting as were the ones before them. But it's ok, we named our animals venereal diseases, *chuckle* I don't expect anyone to fully understand my bro and I.

    Anyways, the house was up for sale, and I asked if I could walk through it. It was weird to see it all empty and remodeled it. Heh, I walked around a bit, just long enough to bring the good stuff to the surface, than I went upstairs and laid on the floor exactly where my bed was.

    The ceiling looked surprised to see me. I guess I would be too.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  9. #9
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Childhood Home

    O.k. on that note, you need to share a funny story about your childhood home.

    I'll start with mine.

    True story...

    Our house was on a huge plot of land, had a barn in the back that my brother and I dubbed our own. It was a cool little club house. We kept all our pets in one part of it, that tended to make it pretty noisy. But it was the coolest setup.

    I'd chill and play the vectrex while older brother would play pool.

    I had the COOLEST rat tail, I remember it still had a bead a girl put in it in school. *blush* Rat tail bling.

    ANYWAYS, I fell asleep on the pool table. I did that often when I didn't want to go in the house or hide out, I think it was mainly for my brother to find me, and partially cause it was high enough for the pups to be unable to jump up.

    Bro would bring this cat, Shadow cat (hated me) and would use this kitty to torment me. I think the kitty was in on it. It was probably more me than shadow simply because I was scared shit less of her. Anyways, bro noticed I was sleeping and put the cat under my shirt... and I woke up to hear the humble growl of a not-so-amused kitty... now I had tons of cats, and I was a little amazed to see ANY of them under my shirt, but when I realized which it was, it was like, we made eye contact then we both FREAKED. I peed i was so scared. My brother was in the corner laughing.

    I got him back by dropping an icewater balloon on him when he was making out with a girlie. He always got the effing hotties anyways.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  10. #10
    Featured Member southstbabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Childhood Home

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    Wow, great memory, is the process of selling it sad? I mean it wasn't a forced thing was it?.
    It's not a forced sell. My father died in Aug. 05 and my mother Nov. 05. Their will was very specific. Liquidate all assets and split the estate 4 ways. My sister and I all have our own homes, so none of us wanted to buy out the others. We did all hope that maybe one of my sisters kids would buy it, but none of them wanted it or couldn't afford it.

    So it's a true goodbye, and it's breaking my heart.

  11. #11
    Featured Member southstbabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Childhood Home

    Ok, funny story. My sister Jeannie get engaged and we decide to invite the new in-laws to be over for a bar-b-que. My mother is busy in the kitchen cooking up a storm, pots and pans cover the stove. My friend Roberta and I are playing around in the kitchen with the balloons we're supose to be blowing up. Of course one of them pops in the process. We're looking all over the place for the remains of the balloons so the dog won't eat it but can't find it anywhere.

    Ok, can't find it, got better things to do, we leave without a second thought.

    Cut to the dinner time. My sisters mother-in-law to be sits down at the picnic table with a nice big sausage and peppers sandwich. She takes a few bites but one of them is very tough. Firmly holding the sandwich she gives it one last good bite and SNAP, the missing balloon hits her in her face, sausage and peppers everywhere.

    Me and Roberta took one look at eachother got out of there as fast as we could.

    Good idea Mast, I'm feeling better already. XOXO

  12. #12
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Childhood Home

    Hahahaha effing hilarious.

    Don't even get me started about the second story hay bail and the pool we had at the bottom and how we got the dogs to run out into an inevitable bath


    And hey, you're not saying goodbye to the memories sweetie, you're just parting ways with where they were all made.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  13. #13
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Childhood Home

    I'm glad you feel that way & have happy memories. I wish the house I grew up in would get sucked into another dimension, like the house in "Poltergeist." More bad memories than good.

  14. #14
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Childhood Home

    Quote Originally Posted by southstbabe View Post
    It's not a forced sell. My father died in Aug. 05 and my mother Nov. 05...

    So it's a true goodbye, and it's breaking my heart.
    I lost my mom and my best friend within days of each other Nov '05, I can relate.

    About the house, less so--even if the picture resembles the house I grew up in in Detroit. But I was only there 8 years, from age 4 to age 12. Also, there was never any question of going back and visiting, that neighborhood is no longer a safe place for someone as pale as I am, lol...

    It's very sad, I'm sorry you are going through this--but remember that it's very cool that you got to have somewhere that was such an anchor, even if it's not there for you now--it was for many years. Most people don't have that, and in that sense you can feel lucky, even if you are understandably very sad to lose it.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

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    Default Re: Childhood Home

    I am so sorry for the recent loss of your parents, and now your home My parents sold our childhood home years ago, and I still miss it. It sounds like you gave a proper goodbye though
    Fools laugh at others. Wisdom laughs at itself...Osho

  16. #16
    Featured Member short skirts's Avatar
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    Default Re: Childhood Home

    I'm sorry you're sad.

    Think about how happy that house is ging to make another family. Th are new memories to be made there and someone will love the house just like you do.

    I had a really hard time when my mother sold my childhood home that she and my father built.

  17. #17
    Featured Member southstbabe's Avatar
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    Default Re: Childhood Home

    Thanks everyone, I'm hangin' in there the best that I can. Tomorrow is going to be rough. I'm going to try to stay as busy as I can, maybe go get my nails done. I'm also try to look at the money from the sale of the house as one last gift from my parents.

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