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Thread: I'm through with it!

  1. #1
    Senior Member Ms Angela's Avatar
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    Default I'm through with it!

    I am from this moment forth (well technically a little while before I went jogging, so I'd say from 1 and a half hour ago) that I am gonna stop blaming myself so much!
    *fistshake*

    Let me elaborate.

    Last September I started stripping. I was very very excited by the idea and went in it with full confidence. Heck, I knew that I wasn't only pretty and sexy, I was smart and a great conversationalist. I did only soso, but I understood that this is just a part of not knowing the ropes, being new and so forth.

    But then it started going downhill for no appearant reason. I would return many nights with nothing and it wasn't getting any better. The idea of failure nagged at my mind (one of my few fears) and I started getting depressed and making hasty assessments that I wasn't pretty/smart/flirty enough. I would drive anywhere in the proximity of the club and start to hyperventilate simply because the job was starting to breed anxiety in me.


    And that's where bright and shining SW came, like an angel of clairvoyance and sensibility, and cleared the smoke away from my eyes.


    It wasn't that I wasn't pretty or smart or *insert adjective*. It wasn't because I'm slightly on the chunky side either. It wasn't that the job itself didn't appeal to me. I like the stripping and chatting part! I started understanding that when 19 out of 20 guys are just there to try and solicit sex from you, you cannot possibly be sexy while constantly dodging nagging and idiocy. I also understood that when there are 3 customers per night and 30 girls (read 0,1 customer per girl) the reason why I was talking to these mudbrains was because I didn't have any other choice.


    So screw it! I didn't fail anything! I just hate to try and pretend I'm gonna do something just to say that I wont later. No stripping for me until I go to the States with my (to-be) husband and I'm gonna FUCKING kick ass.

    </rant>

  2. #2
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm through with it!

    first, good!!! i'm glad you are feeling that you can be kick ass, because you can be!!
    keep that frame of mind going, and you will see improvement in your mood and money..
    But i think it's really important not to view dancing in another country as the solution. it may be, but it may not be. be aware of that.

    anyways, way to go girl, awesome realization.

    Love it!

  3. #3
    Senior Member Ms Angela's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm through with it!

    I know wooshing off to another place will not solve anything per se. But by my study (which has mainly been conducted on SW) I will not have to drink myself silly everytime I go to work, I will not have to engage in hustles that lasts for HOURS, there will be enough custies for me to actually brush someone that's annoying me off and .. I get to -dance-.

    It just sounds very positive from my point of view

    Edit:
    OH yes! And getting tipped on stage is also cool.
    Fashion is a form of ugliness so intolerable that we have to alter it every six months.

    ~Oscar Wilde

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