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Thread: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

  1. #1
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Thumbs down OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    ok girls i really need some advise.
    a newly acquired regular was at my gym tonight. he was trying it out and he said he is going to join!!!
    not happy, this place is MY territory and I know it's a free world and all but fuck no i dont want this fucking guy at my gym when im trying to exercise and unwind.

    i dont want him coming near me at the gym either.

    should i get one of my male friends to pretend to be a jealous boyfriend and warn him to stay the fuck away from me.

    he is a good spending regular but fuck that i'd rather have my gym to myself and risk loosing his money.

  2. #2
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    should i get one of my male friends to pretend to be a jealous boyfriend and warn him to stay the fuck away from me.
    Well..if he is a good spending regular, that would be the fastest way to get him to never spend money on you again.

    Just go to the gym, workout as you normally would, and ignore him. If he tries to talk to you, or bother you, just tell him that when you work out, you like to be alone, as it is your time to unwind, and if he would like to talk to you, come into the club tonight, and you would be happy to spend time with him.

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    Featured Member flickad's Avatar
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    You could always change gyms.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    do u think im overreacting a bit?
    i just haven't run into anyone that's come into the club before,much less someone i regularly dance for and i freaked out.
    it just makes me feel creepy.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    Quote Originally Posted by flickad View Post
    You could always change gyms.
    no way ive been going there for 5 years and its within walking distance to my house - another reason why im freaked out by seeing him there.

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    Featured Member flickad's Avatar
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    do u think im overreacting a bit?
    i just haven't run into anyone that's come into the club before,much less someone i regularly dance for and i freaked out.
    it just makes me feel creepy.
    Yeah, I do, especially since this guy spends alot of money on you. When or if you see him at the gym, maybe it would be a good idea to just toss him a friendly greeting then get back to your workout. If he tries to chat for longer than afew minutes, tell him you only have a limited amount of time to work out before you have to do other stuff, but that you'll have a better catch up when you see him at the club. Then just proceed with your routine as you normally would, tossing him a friendly but short 'goodbye' before you leave.

    Also, having a male friend tell him to keep away from you doesn't necessarily guarantee he won't join your gym, but it will mess with your money.

  7. #7
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    This might be a good reason for you to introduce some 'new' energry into your life by changing gyms. Are you telling me that there aren't ANY other gyms within a certain distance from your home? Would you be able to at least bicycle it to these other gyms if they are a little further away instead of walking (thus you get a work-out to/from the gym not just at the gym)?

    If you seriously do not want to change gyms, you will just have to be sly and try to find out when he is at the gym "usually" and work around those times if you are really uncomfortable with him seeing you there or at least be polite enough to give him acknowledgement.

    Just make it clear that you are there at the gym to work-out not to socialise. Some people join gyms for the social benefits (feeling part of a community, maybe meeting new people).

    Plus you can't stop him from using the gym. It is a free world. Unless you know that he has specifically chosen this gym because you go to it then it might be bordering on stalking type of behaviour. Yet if he does in fact live near-by, then you can't begrudge him.


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    Featured Member iseestars's Avatar
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    do you use an ipod when you workout? if he sees you listening to music, he may not try to say anything but a hello, which i think is acceptable.

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    Veteran Member nychaos99's Avatar
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    I don't think you are freaking out, I understand that the gym for you is a personal thing, it is your time, and you've been going there for 5 years.

    So, to see a customer there must definitely feel like a violation of your privacy.

    Unfortunately, it isn't. Not unless you can prove he is stalking (as mentioned above).

    If I were you, I would:
    1. Try and be as pleasant as possible, without leading him on in any sort of manner.
    2. Definitely wear headphones/ipod
    3. Try and figure out what time he likes to come in, and work out another time.

    I think it wouldn't be a big deal for you to change up your workout time. I mean, doesn't this guy work during the day?

    Good luck to you-

    Be safe, and at least feel comfortable knowing that you are a familiar face at the gym, so if anything weird goes on with this guy, you'll probably find out about it.
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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    Quote Originally Posted by nychaos99 View Post
    ...I understand that the gym for you is a personal thing, it is your time, and you've been going there for 5 years.

    3. Try and figure out what time he likes to come in, and work out another time.

    I think it wouldn't be a big deal for you to change up your workout time. I mean, doesn't this guy work during the day?
    This is what I was thinking.

    But it may be that you will just have to accelerate the cycle that so many go through with regulars, and see how well they can handle the reality--they'll never really get anywhere with you, and shouldn't even try. Most you wind up losing, because they can't handle it.

    Odds are, knowing regulars, he's thinking this might be a way to court you.

    Unless the guy is dropping thousands per visit (to the club, lol), I'd say keep the gym and try working out when he's not.

    Hopefully he won't get weird on you about it.
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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    more than likely he won't be at your gym long or he won't be your regular long (or most likely, both)

    so change gyms for a little while, or go when you know for sure he won't be there (like when he's working or sleeping). That's what I'd do, and if I saw him, I'd say hi and carry on. if he insisted on talking (which most people won't do if you have earphones on), I'd politely explain that I'd like to be left alone.

    No need for drama.

    there is a guy at my gym that came to my club to see me dance....now it's uncomfortable for me. I jsut use the polite ignore tactic I described.

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    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    you can always wear a hat when your working out....

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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    I ran into a guy from work at my gym once.... he saw me, and I made a "Shhhh" sign with my finger and shook my head no. Then smiled and winked. He figured out I don't want him to out me...thank god! But it is still kinda un comfortable when I see him there, so I do what the other girls suggested...I wear head phones, I focus on working out and look "too busy to talk" and I avoid eye contact with him.
    So far that has worked out just fine, and when I see him at the club I am as friendly as can be....

    Not sure if any of that helped, but there ya go.




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    Veteran Member Rockette's Avatar
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    I ran into a guy from work at my gym once.... he saw me, and I made a "Shhhh" sign with my finger and shook my head no. Then smiled and winked. He figured out I don't want him to out me...thank god! But it is still kinda un comfortable when I see him there, so I do what the other girls suggested...I wear head phones, I focus on working out and look "too busy to talk" and I avoid eye contact with him.
    So far that has worked out just fine, and when I see him at the club I am as friendly as can be....

    Not sure if any of that helped, but there ya go.
    I usually do the same, but that's really a slick way to go about it!
    Isocrates: “Democracy destroys itself because it abuses its right to freedom and equality. Because it teaches its citizens to consider audacity as a right, lawlessness as a freedom, abrasive speech as equality, and anarchy as progress.”

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    Senior Member noctina's Avatar
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    i know how you feel, it can be so awkward to see a guy from the club when you're not in the club environment... it is definitely creepy.

    but if i were you, i wouldn't overreact and switch gyms. you both have the right to go to the gym and work out in peace. listening to music on your ipod is an excellent idea... nobody ever bugs someone who has headphones in their ears. if the guy tries to make conversation, i would just be honest and polite. explain to him that working out is private time to you and totally seperate from your "club life", and just tell him that you can't wait to hang out with him at the club again. don't act like you are too good to talk to him or you won't even acknowledge his existance unless he's spending money on you, because then he'll think you're bitchy!

    however, if you suspect that he is the stalker type and is only joining the gym to get closer to you, or if he starts constantly bugging you at the gym despite your polite request to be left alone, then i would definitely blow him off. but don't overreact if he is just a normal guy who wants to go to the gym like you, cuz you could lose an awesome regular.
    hits from the boooong

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    hey thanks for all the helpful advise.
    i do use my ipod usually, i didnt have it on me last night coz i did a class and saw him when i came out.

    he was calling me by my stage name!!! that was a lttle bit funny and thankfully no-one who knows me from the gym was around.

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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    This happens to me ALL the time! Usually THEY are the ones with the "deer in the headlights" look. I nip it in the bud and say hello. I teach the group exercise classes, afterall! Actually, come to think of it, I'm one of the few instructors who can pack their yoga classes with men. If they only knew.....
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    I wouldn't sweat it, unless he exhibits weird behaviors around the gym, like trying to leave at the same time as you or always trying to be in your general area.

    9 out of 10, he didn't know you went to the gym when you picked it.

    Make sure to be careful that nobody is following you when you leave, and don't always take the same path home.

    But the moral of the story, don't do what you aren't comfortable with. If the fact that he;s there creeps you out that much, swich gyms. It's important to go with your guy.
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    i've actually had this happen. but i'd known this guy for a year. i said hi and asked him how he ass when i saw him there and he did the same. now i have a home gym. he still spent on me and i'm not even his type- he just makes the exception with me. he knew when i went i was on my way to work and often showed up there that night. i didnt feel scared or anything. if he had given me a hard time, i would have just had him kicked out.

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    Banned Melonie's Avatar
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    this is exactly why I set myself up with a treadmill, weight machine, tanning bed etc. at home. Using a local gym ... and especially using a local gym on any sort of a regularly scheduled basis ... and super-especially using a local gym that is located a very short distance from where you live ... can pose very real risks.

    It sounds like this 'regular' is fairly benign, at the moment at least. However, if this regular were to become disappointed with you in the future, or even if he happens to simply and innocently mention to other club customers that you work out at XXX gym every afternoon at 3PM or whatever, you'd be put at risk of less 'benign' guys knowing where you can be found outside the club.

  21. #21
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    I vote you befriend a large gay male workout buddy. LOL

    Guys were always too forward at my old gym (before I was a dancer, btw)...One guy even hit on my brother, which traumatized us both (!Creepy dude cornered him in the bathroom! ) I blame the surges in testostone & desire to show off like a peacock.

    Switch gyms....It's the safest thing to do.

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    Featured Member Sinder's Avatar
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    I have had this happen at my gym. It really hasn't been a problem for me at all. I have been a member at my gym for about 9yrs and know alot of people very well. When I see a guy in the gym from the club, I usually just get the smile and a nod from across the way. I have one regular who wanted to join a gym, and I did invite him to try my gym. He joined and I do occassionally let him train along side me. So if this guy starts to bother you, make a complaint to the staff and see if there is anything they can do for you. Other than that, try not to freak out about it.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    I don't know if anyone realizes but sometimes you can't 'just change gyms'... you might have a contract stating you're only at that gym for 2 years.. thus moving would lose you out on $80 per month if there's not another similar gym nearby... which is another reason I'd be freaked too.


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  24. #24
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: OK bad situation need advise reg shows up at gym!!

    yeh i have a yearly contract and i pay via direct deposit so they would continue taking the money out anyway even if i left.
    plus i have a lot of friends there that i have made over the years.

    next time i work out i will have my ipod.

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