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Thread: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

  1. #1
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    Default What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    Ok, I guess that most of you know I very rarely post anything that's super serious on here. I don't usually have any issues that I need advice on, but this has been weighing on my mind lately and I decided to get some outside advice. So...here goes...

    I don't feel like I've ever been the "pretty" girl. I was teased a lot as a kid about my nose (which is large, I'll admit), wearing glasses, my body (big butt, etc.), and maybe a few other things here and there. I wasn't the unpopular kid, but I can remember being called "wicked witch" and one kid saying "All you need is a wart on your nose and some green make-up and you'd really look the part."

    I'm overly sensitive about it...I still look in the mirror every day and wonder what people think of me. Do they think I'm ugly? Am I making this out to be more than what it is? It's constant. I don't feel like people see ME...just the "ugly" parts of me.

    Mox says it's all in my head, but I seriously can't tell anymore. I'll be in the grocery store and see a pretty girl that has a larger nose and think, "Hey...she has a bigger nose and she's still pretty. Maybe that's what people think of me, too." I feel like an idiot thinking that, though.

    When I take pictures I'll delete them if it puts me at an angle that makes my nose stand out. I sometimes like wearing my glasses because it keeps my nose from being the main focus.

    I want to get it fixed- someday. Money doesn't grow on trees, though, and I've got to be patient until I can afford to have it done. In the meantime, though, I just need to get this out in the open.

    I don't know what to think of myself anymore.
    Last edited by Deni; 02-15-2007 at 07:53 PM.

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  3. #2
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    I think everybody has something that bothers them about their appearance. I think it just makes you normal to have minor insecurities.

    Even if you got your nose fixed, you might not even be happy. If you're like me, you'll find something new to obsess over.

  4. #3
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    Even if you got your nose fixed, you might not even be happy. If you're like me, you'll find something new to obsess over.
    I know, Em. That's what I've been trying to figure out...would it REALLY make me happy or was it just all the teasing that got to me.

    I'm not sure yet.

  5. #4
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    Wow! Your nose isn't even that big. I have a fried who looks almost exactly like you, she's definitely beautiful (as are you). Big nose small nose, nobody likes theirs. I dislike mine, because of really abstract concepts like the shape of my nostrils. Just try to look at the bigger picture. No one looks at those details!


  6. #5
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    Yeah, we're all teased when we're younger unless you were a prom queen type. But there is only a couple of those per school, so chances are you're among the majority.

    Sometimes I hate my nose because it's kinda Jewish looking, but then other times I'm glad it is. It makes me who I am. Noses tell a lot about a person's ethnicity and I'm proud of mine.

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    Banned rozz's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    It's the teasing. We never get away from it. We internalixe what we hear when our bodies are developing. I obsess over the fact that one of my eyes is smaller than the other. No one else ever notices. I still think I'm fat, will probably always think that I'm fat (I was made fun of a lot). I don't think there's anything you can do about it except start to accept your body and be happy with it. Because pretty soon, it's all going to go to shit and you'll be happy if you can get out of bed and use your fat legs to walk. Body parts take on a much different meaning as you age.

  8. #7
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    Quote Originally Posted by Deni View Post
    I know, Em. That's what I've been trying to figure out...would it REALLY make me happy or was it just all the teasing that got to me.

    I'm not sure yet.
    I'll sound off on this, having just had some PS that "fixed" an issue I've had my whole life--prominent ears.

    While I'm quite pleased at the end result, I've met a bunch of people (close friends and acquaintances) who haven't noticed any difference. When I mention the surgery, they go, "I never noticed. But, yes, thought you'd lost weight or something."

    What all this tells me: It was largely MY issue. Nevertheless, I'm pleased I had the work done.

    So if it bugs you--not if it bugs others--I'd say go ahead and get it fixed. (Just spend top dollar on a good doctor. This is one arena where it makes no sense whatsoever to be a cheapskate.)

    And to the point raised above. Yeah, I've already found a couple other things to fret about.

  9. #8
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    You're very pretty. I wouldn't have noticed your nose being big if you hadn't mentioned it (tho in person, if you were moving around, etc., I might have). I don't think your nose detracts from your beauty.



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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    I've had something done, and I am very pleased. It didn't change my life but I think it improved the way I look in a subtle way. I want something done to the tip of my nose, but its not affordable right now.

    If you want to do it, then start saving up. If you have health insurance, see if you have a deviated septum. The doc will fix it for you, and work on the nose for a few grand extra. Perhaps its time to start dancing?

    You are a lovely girl.

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  11. #10
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    Deni, you're gorgeous!

    I also have a very "prominent" nose that is also crooked. Nobody notices it though. I hate my nose as well, but slowly coming to terms with it.

    I also am touchy about pics if they're in an unflattering angle, which is common

  12. #11
    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    I promise you baby, if I walked past you in the grocery store, I'd definitely look twice. I know we all have stuff about us thats almost impossible to see past...and other people telling you not to worry about it usually doesn't change anything, but every picture I have seen of you, regardless of angles or distractions - has been entirely gorgeous.

  13. #12
    Veteran Member Hot2Trot's Avatar
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    Smiley Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    Hi Deni

    Consider this:
    When international supermodels such as Cindy Crawford, Christie Brinkley and others were asked if they could turn back the clock and be 20-30 again, would they, do you know what they said?

    They said that for all the beauty and youth they would have if they did, they would never want to be that age again.

    Why? Because in their 40s-50s, they felt more "comfortable in their skin". Because even in their youth, when the world was praising their beauty, they felt insecure and unattractive about themselves and couldn't appreciate themselves for who they really were...

    My point being, it is normal for us to feel self-concious in our youth. Perhaps this is an indication of how strongly we perceive others, and in turn, we feel we are being perceived the same.

    Be who you are and be comfortable with it. For everyone who finds something unattractive, there is someone who admires that same quality. The love of your life would prefer you the way you are. If you have to change your appearance (for other than health reasons) to please someone else / be considered attractive by others / accepted, they are not in love with you and will never truly accept you

    Please value yourself. You are unique and beautiful just as you are; Don't strive to become a carbon-copy of society's idea of "Beauty"-

    Create your own.

    Hope this helps.



  14. #13
    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    Also - my little group of best friends are all beautiful - but one of the most gorgeous of them has always gotten teased for having a little bit larger of a nose. It doesn't do anything but add to her gorgeousness, as does yours.

  15. #14
    exotisch23
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    I think you are beautiful Deni! When I was in grade school I used to get called pizza face every day on the bus because I had bad skin at that time.

  16. #15
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    Lol, the kids at my school used to call me gretchen grundler (from the show Recess) because I was tall, skinny, pale, and had huge glasses and braces.

    They also used to tease me because my hair was thick, but looking back on it now all these things I was teased for just make me hotter (maybe not the glasses). Humph.

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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    Thanks for all the replies. I have good days and bad days about how I feel, but putting this out in the open has made me feel a lot better. I think I just needed to talk to someone else about it besides Mox... he'll tell me I look beautiful no matter what I look like (bed head, huge zit on my face, whatever).

    Thanks everyone!

  18. #17
    Cally
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    *sighs*

    I have the BIGGEST complex about my nose... I used to get teased about it all the time... my nick name in Jr High School was "Bird" they thought it was my beak

    I still wont let photogs shoot me side on.. Im saving to get a nose job... I NEED it gone. I hate it...


  19. #18
    Veteran Member xBlackBettyx's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    I used to be hella chunky when I was in grade school and middle school, and since I've lost weight, gotten my hair to grow, had braces, jaw surgery, do my make-up, dress in "cute" clothes I'm the total opposite from what I was then.

    I was never the nerdy kid, and always had a lot of friends but was never the "beauty queen" (I hit my awkward stage at about 12). I got teased, but did teasing myself because I felt like shit and always wished for that day when I'd be pretty, and skinny, and cute and guys would like me.

    I think the one thing I'll probably never get over was this guy I had a crush on (Don't know why cause the guy is hit and I'd never give him a chance now) apparently liked me as well...well, to make a long story short he only was interested because he had a bet going with his friends...That was pretty shitty and I always still even to this day get antsy when I meet a guy's friends. It's really weird when people tell me I'm cute, or hot, sexy, my looks attracted them, etc because for so long I was the fat chick in the shadows and the dorky clothes, never did her hair, etc. But, all in all, I am glad I got teased in school because it's is kind of nice to say "Yeah, well, you turned me down then but now I'm a 10 (and wouldn't want your ass now anyways)!" (so Maury).

    Which is stupid, because with being "pretty" comes bullshit like questioning people's intentions. I think you're hot, don't let shit from way back when get you down now. People grow into themselves and you did, so did I.

    (PS: it's pretty funny when you go back and look at the kids from your high school who teased you - they now more than likely look like shit and you look banging).
    Aequitas Veritas
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  20. #19
    Cally
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    ^^ I agree!!

    I was skinny, skrawny and akward in school... after high school I gained a shit load of weight and had braces and glasses and was chunky and just eww lol.

    I got my braces off, lost weight and started doing my hair nice...

    I went back home not too long ago and was at a club and this guy walks up to me and goes 'omg are you <insert name>?' I was like 'mmhmm' he goes 'OMG your HOT!"

    This is the same kid who came up with the nick name "Bird" and was just a total ass to me in school.

    He was fat and ugly and a total loser lol.

    I also recently ran into an old classmate at a club I was featuring. He was completly floored... He couldnt even look me in the eye... I took one of his buddies for a dance and the look on his face was priceless

  21. #20
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    Those are awesome stories!

    Cally, I remember reading the thread you made a while back. You and I have similar feelings...when I was reading it I kept thinking, "Who typed this? Was it her or me? Weird!"

    I knew you'd understand how I feel on this one, though.

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    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    Deni, you are so pretty! But again, that doesn't help how you feel.....

    If it bothers YOU then get it fixed, but you are the only one who counts in this decision.

    We all have something that we don't like about ourselves...I find a new obsession about once a month. But I know it must feel different if that 'something' is a part of your face.

    When I met CE and he told me about his up coming surgery, I really didn't know what to say, I had been looking right at him and never even noticed what he considered to be his 'flaw'.

    The teasing from childhood sticks with us though... that I know for sure. I keep my hair blonde, no matter how bad the budget, in order to hide any trace of the red hair I had as a kid. Pippy Longstalking...any of you girls remember her? Yah...that was me. I still can't shake that, even though I'm no longer the tallest, skinniest, most awkward girl in school!

    Denni, I think you are really really pretty, and whatever you decide to do will be the best decision for you, but FYI, your nose is cute I think!




  23. #22
    Cally
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    Quote Originally Posted by Deni View Post
    Those are awesome stories!

    Cally, I remember reading the thread you made a while back. You and I have similar feelings...when I was reading it I kept thinking, "Who typed this? Was it her or me? Weird!"

    I knew you'd understand how I feel on this one, though.
    It sucks... I wouldnt wear my glasses because I felt they were drawing more attention to my nose.

    It just makes me so self conscious... I wear my hair down a lot because I feel it hides my nose more... its just one of those things

  24. #23
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    Quote Originally Posted by Cally View Post
    It sucks... I wouldnt wear my glasses because I felt they were drawing more attention to my nose.

    It just makes me so self conscious... I wear my hair down a lot because I feel it hides my nose more... its just one of those things
    Same...except where my glasses sits hides the curve of my nose. Makes it look better from profile angle.

    It's weird how we get hung up on these types of things.

  25. #24
    Featured Member flickad's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    I think you're cute.

  26. #25
    Veteran Member TheLioness's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's the Deal With My Body Image Issues?

    I agree, it's all in your head. I wouldn't have noticed it if you hadn't said something. But I still think you're beautiful. I don't know how old you are, but I can tell you that I was obsessed with the shape of my nose and swore I'd get a nose job until I was in my mid twenties, but I actually like it now, it fits me. I don't know anything about my ancestors, but I went to a very hee haw redneck school and was called n***er nose for many years My point is, I'm sure you'll get to a point in life when your nose is the least of your concerns

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