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Thread: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

  1. #1
    Yekhefah
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    Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    So my brothers are 11, 14, and 16. The older two are on MySpace and I like to keep an eye on them, make sure they don't get up to anything out of line. Well, the day is finally here when I've caught something and now I don't know what to do about it.

    The 14-year-old, the middle one, has always been the one I'm worried about. He's in with the "popular" crowd, plays a bunch of sports, and is really concerned with what everyone else is wearing, doing, etc. We always knew he would be the one that was vulnerable to peer pressure. I know he watches movies he's not allowed to when he's at his friends' houses, and I know he checks out porn on the internet. There are a couple of pot jokes on his MySpace page but I have no idea whether he's actually smoking it or just trying to look cool.

    Anyway, today I went to put a Valentine's comment on his page and I found this recent comment posted by someone else:

    HEY! not to sound wierd or anything but I was on my friends computer playing with thier myspace (since i dont have an account of my own) and I saw your page : ). Just looking for someone to have fun with online. I have my profile setup on this other site that is like myspace but for webcam users. You dont need one to join and its free. But you could come and watch me. I hope that dont sound slutty but its a huge turn on : ) and i think after you see what i do on my cam you will be turned on too hehe. Ok anyway click here if you like my pic and want to have a bit of fun : ) Im almost always online. <3 Madison
    What do I do? If I tell our mom, she'll either ignore it or she'll tear him to shreds and ban him from the computer and he'll keep doing whatever it is at his friends' houses but he'll never trust me again. OTOH, I do think he's too young for this stuff at 14. What do I do?

    EDIT: I should add that when I was his age, I was in a chat room and I had chat-room type-sex with some guy while a friend was sleeping over at my house. She and I both talked to the guy and for some stupid teenage reason we printed out the whole thing. My mom found it and it was the most trouble I've ever been in! My dad even drove up for it and it was my mom, my dad, and my stepfather completely tearing into me. They got rid of my computer and the rest of my teen years were forever colored by the incident, and my mom and dad kept calling me a slut. (My stepfather understood it was a stupid kid thing, bless him.) I kinda want to tell my mom about this just to go, "See, ha, it's normal." But OTOH, she probably wouldn't be as hard on my brother because he's a boy and she's NEVER been as strict on my brothers as she was with me.
    Last edited by Yekhefah; 02-14-2007 at 10:53 AM.

  2. #2
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    Oh hell no. Some camwhore is out trying to promote herself to 14 year olds?! (No, this is not to say all web cam ladies are whores, this one just sounds like it.) That's sick.

    Maybe message "Madison" and tell her to get lost?

  3. #3
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    It sounds like one of his friend's profiles got hacked and someone is spamming their friend's comments and/or bulletins. I've seen the same comment on friends pages.

    His friend should change their password immediately.

  4. #4
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    You're not his mother, she is. You don't get to decide how it should be handled and she does. You're an adult, he's a kid.

    To me it seems pretty clear. What is his age on his page? I thought that kids couldn't be searched through myspace - that you had to know them.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    I got that EXACT post on my stipper persona myspace. It's just an ad from some random pornbot. He might be leaving it up because he thinks it makes him look cool or he just hasn't seen it yet.

    I have two little brothers... twins. They're both 20 now. One is just like the one you described, "Mr. Popular", and the other is a sweet little sensitive dude. They BOTH looked at porn on the computer at that age. We know it. Mom found it on the computer's history. He's a growing boy, I'd leave it alone. I don't think there's really anything you can do that would make him stop. I mean, you could tease him about it and embarrass him... but I think that would just make him hide it better and it seems kind of unfair.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  6. #6
    Veteran Member Mandy_Wood's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    Did you click on the link? It's probably an intro page that shows you a few naughty pics and camera shots but you have to sign up with a credit card and monthly payments to actually do anything. But, if not, and this chick is giving it all up for free, you can maybe talk to him about it? Honesty is really the best policy. Just ask him what's up with the chick on MySpace, explain your position and that you're not going to tattle but let him know you're watching him. In a nice way.
    Quote Originally Posted by cherryripeboy View Post
    Remember they sent a ninja against robocop....





  7. #7
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    Glad it's kind of random then... his page does have his age on it (it might say he's 15 because he joined MySpace at 13 and lied because you have to be 14). I'm just worried about him getting caught with drugs since he plays so many sports, and I'm worried about him getting caught looking at girls his own age and getting busted for viewing child porn. It HAS happened. I know it's normal to look at porn at his age. I just don't want him getting in trouble.

    I really wish my mom would raise her damn kids. It's like once I was grown she decided she was done, and now she's got three adolescent sons who run wild and completely unsupervised. The 11-year-old can't even use a knife and fork properly. Argh.

  8. #8
    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    ^He can't use a knife and fork properly?! How the heck did that happen?

    I feel you, lol. After my sister and I were in college (I was the oldest and trust me, I got the worst BS and the strictest rules!), it's like my mom was done! My brothers came and went as they pleased and she didn't search THEIR rooms. Grrr.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  9. #9
    Veteran Member Mandy_Wood's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    My mother decided she would stop trying with the last one, after me and my brother were grown. 15, not even in school, just hangs out all day, goofing off and not learning any kind of life skills. That kid is going to have issues . . . But I love my baby sister more than anything and keep trying to get her to go to some kind of school. My mom isn't a bad mom either, just . . . I don't know. Done with raising kids I guess.
    Quote Originally Posted by cherryripeboy View Post
    Remember they sent a ninja against robocop....





  10. #10
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    Yeah i feel like my parents pretty much stopped parenting after I left. My little bro will turn 16 this month.
    BUT I am very, very close to him and I know a whole lot about his friends.
    For a fourteen year old this is normal. Hell, I did the same thing with the chat room cyber starting when I was twelve or so!

    In this day and age, people who are 14 aren't really kids anymore, unfortunately. They have the brain of a child but the body, hormones, and social pressures of an adult. This is what gets them in trouble.

    If he looks up to you, the best thing to do would be just to talk with him, let him know you care and what your thoughts on the subject are. Odds are he will take your advice, especially if he is lacking that sort of thing from your parents.

  11. #11
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    Thanks, y'all. Wow, it really seems to be a common phenomenon with parents just giving up with the younger kids... what a shame. And the worst thing is she thinks she's Donna fucking Reed. *sigh*

    I'll call him and make chitchat tonight and see if I can steer the convo that way.

  12. #12
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    FWIW, my sister was a fucked up tweaker at that age and she grew out of it. Her friends are still not the best, but she's in college and has a good job and owns a house.



  13. #13
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mandy_Wood View Post
    My mother decided she would stop trying with the last one, after me and my brother were grown. 15, not even in school, just hangs out all day, goofing off and not learning any kind of life skills. That kid is going to have issues . . . But I love my baby sister more than anything and keep trying to get her to go to some kind of school. My mom isn't a bad mom either, just . . . I don't know. Done with raising kids I guess.
    Wow. You're sure good at making excuses for your mom. Maybe she wasn't a bad mom to you, but she is doing a huge disservice to your younger siblings by not enrolling them in school. Not to mention that it's AGAINST THE LAW for children to not be in school. Your mother should be held accountable.

  14. #14
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    Yekhefah, that coment is a piece of spam thats going around, Im getting it almost every day and have been for weeks now. Let him know its spam and to change his acount so he has to approve his comments. Aside from that i think you have to let him live - dont tell your mum if its possible she'll freak at him! I have a 15 year old son and personally I dont think kids that age need the drama. If it were my son, Id not be too bothered.

  15. #15
    God/dess AinNY's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    Its a bot message.

    Im sure he can handle himself.

    He's old enough...im sure he's seen enough porn by now...whats the worst that could happen? He steals your moms credit card to see a naked girl on a webcam? Its not that big a deal. He'll get in trouble for it later if he actually does it.

    No need to worry.

  16. #16
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    Actually, the worst that can happen is a school official or someone else seeing all the drug references and sex references on his page and getting him in major trouble. Or it could be him checking out a girl his own age on the webcam and winding up a registered sex offender for the rest of his life for looking at underage porn (it HAS happened). Or it could be him smoking weed with his friends and getting caught through athletic department drug testing (he's on every sports team, seriously) and getting expelled or his whole life destroyed. He's got a fair shot at several athletic and academic scholarships and I'd really hate to see him fuck up his whole future.

    It's not just porn, it's his overall judgement. And in our crazy "zero-tolerance" society, he could do himself some really serious damage this way. I'm furious that my mother is not looking out for him because of this.

  17. #17
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    Girl, I was leaving V Day messages for everyone today on Myspace, and I saw that exact message at least 10 times. It's a robot. Your lil bro needs to make his comments as "posted when approved" or something like that!

  18. #18
    Veteran Member Mandy_Wood's Avatar
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    Angry Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    Quote Originally Posted by Glamazon View Post
    Wow. You're sure good at making excuses for your mom. Maybe she wasn't a bad mom to you, but she is doing a huge disservice to your younger siblings by not enrolling them in school. Not to mention that it's AGAINST THE LAW for children to not be in school. Your mother should be held accountable.
    She technically has her registered as a homeschooler but she hasn't registered her for years (your suppose to do it every year, keep a work portfolio, and have them tested every year) but there's some sort of excuse you can use to get out of it. The kid hasn't been in school since elementary! No, trust me, we fight about it all the time. I've threatened to bring CPS into the matter but I can never seem to bring myself to do it. I would hate to be the one my family hates for calling fucking CPS, my parents childhood enemy. She's a god damn hippy that thinks public school is damaging. She never even made me go to public school. To her credit, she has enrolled my sister in private schools, online academies, gotten her private tutors, everything. My sister is just so spoiled and my mom is so worried about "damaging her spirit" that she never makes her stick to ANYTHING! I don't even know what to do or say anymore but stop going through my mother because now that my sister is old enough to really understood how totally devastating not having an education can be, I just try to convince her to do something about it. I've offered to drive her everyday, to and from, help her with anything she needs, pay for anything she needs, whatever! Just as long as she's in school! And for some reason my mother wants her in college when she's sixteen, and I'm like, WHAT?!?! Are you fucking retarded? She has had NO basic education. My mother is just like, "Oh, but she's so intelligent she'll do fine, she's college smart." And where's my father in all this? Fucking enabling the both of them. Everytime I try to talk to either of them, especially my mom, about my sister, he gets angry at me for upsetting my mother.



    *sigh* Sorry, just realized this turned into a rant instead of a simple response. Sorry Yek! Didn't mean to take over your thread. I will post a separate thread on this if need be cuz I could honestly write a few paragraphs more on the subject, lol.
    Quote Originally Posted by cherryripeboy View Post
    Remember they sent a ninja against robocop....





  19. #19
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    No worries, Mandy, this can be the Bitch About Our Ineffective Lazy Mothers Thread!

  20. #20
    God/dess PaigeDWinter's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    Yek, I JUST got that same spam!
    Number of times Rickrolled on stage: 6
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  21. #21
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    Yek, I understand, b/c I've gt a little sister the same age, and I worry, but it's not my biz. So stay out of it. Honestly, I think in a case like this, it's better not to even be friends..... I never look at Ariel's page, and she stays off of mine (if she knows I've got one...) kids fuck up, and then grow up. if you don't let him make his own decisions(even bad ones) you're doing something really bad for him, b/c he will fuck up worse later.

  22. #22
    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    Hey we discussed this! How did it go?
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  23. #23
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: Oh Boy. How to handle this one?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Actually, the worst that can happen is a school official or someone else seeing all the drug references and sex references on his page and getting him in major trouble. Or it could be him checking out a girl his own age on the webcam and winding up a registered sex offender for the rest of his life for looking at underage porn (it HAS happened). Or it could be him smoking weed with his friends and getting caught through athletic department drug testing (he's on every sports team, seriously) and getting expelled or his whole life destroyed. He's got a fair shot at several athletic and academic scholarships and I'd really hate to see him fuck up his whole future.

    It's not just porn, it's his overall judgement. And in our crazy "zero-tolerance" society, he could do himself some really serious damage this way. I'm furious that my mother is not looking out for him because of this.

    this would be my main concern. my only brother is 16 now, and i just recently had a similar issue with him.. but he talks to me, tells me the ins and outs of his life. he comes to me about the peer pressure he's feeling and how to deal with it, but we have a mother who is self absorbed, who gave up on raising kids when i was in college and my little sis died. poor guy barely gets any attn from her. so i can feel you on all of this yekh.

    Love it!

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