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Thread: I think I hate dancing...

  1. #1
    Cally
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    Default I think I hate dancing...

    Yea... the more I think about it the more I wonder how much I really love it...

    I mean yea I love putting on shows, coming up with theme ideas and new props and my fire shows and I LOVE getting a club full of guys on their feet screaming and cheering for me...

    BUT!

    I am sick of the drama, im sick of the bull shit... im sick of the pressure...assholes screaming mean shit at me, I hate lap dancing so I started featuring, well now that im featuring it just seems like im never good enough...

    I had one of the best nights tonight, I put on some great shows, I was feeling great about myself.. then some asshole gets up and starts screaming 'GET THIS FAT BITCH WITH HER SAGGY TITS OFF THE STAGE!!!'

    I ignored it and carried on...I didnt let it get to me.

    I dont know what it is...its like im sour from travelling and doing bookings.

    I hate staying in one club though... but when im away I just want to be home...

    Im so confused... I mean I love it but I hate it if that makes sense?

    Maybe I need a break? I jumped into featuring and went full out on it... im doing my third contest... thats 3 in 4 months... I dont even want to do the contest but I have to...

    Im also sick about worrying if everytime I eat some munchies its going to make me fat.. im sick of worrying about my weight, worrying about getting my nails done, if my eyebrows get a little messy, if my makeup isnt right if I start to lose my tan a little bit... im sick of not being able to get to sleep before 5am... and ARRRRRRRGGGGGG!!!!!!!! Maybe its just cuz im missrible from everything else?

    I just dont know how I feel....

  2. #2
    Featured Member Windy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    yeah maybe u jus need a break???

    i mean im not as busy as u with all the feature work(but wud love to do that someday) but....sometimes when i work alot...even tho i ignore the assholes, it gets to me. and i think man i hate this!

    but if i take a break, and if i listen to my friends who cant afford to even live on their own with their minium wage and how their customers treat them like shit but they cant do anything , i think "wow i love dancing!"

    i mean its better than a boring, less paying job.

    maybe u shud take a vacation????

    goodluck
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  3. #3
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    Vacation? Definitely. After all the drama your life has been putting you through, you need some Cally time.

  4. #4
    Featured Member Kabukicho's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    [QUOTE=Cally;975435]I had one of the best nights tonight, I put on some great shows, I was feeling great about myself.. then some asshole gets up and starts screaming 'GET THIS FAT BITCH WITH HER SAGGY TITS OFF THE STAGE!!!'

    QUOTE]


    Oh God, that is so pathetic.

    Yeah, I can understand. I'm not busy like you but, like everything, I just get sick of it all from time to time.

    Take a break, treat yourself to something and hopefully it will pass.

  5. #5
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    Gosh, some men have no class....

  6. #6
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    it is tough and you really need thick skin for this shit. People have no idea.

    I know it's hard to do, but you can't take what people say personally. They are the SC versions of trolls. They jsut like to get a rise out of people and we're easy targets because we're so exposed. So it's not a reflection on you. Only a complete douchebag would say something like that. Even if it's true (and it's not), a normal person keeps that to themself.

  7. #7
    Banned gingerlee's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    You just need to take a break honey. I totally understand what you're going through, and all the travel does wear you down very quickly. I don't get a week off 'til May, and I know by then I'm going to want to kill somebody. If you take a break and then come back, you'll probably feel much better. You can do it!!

  8. #8
    Senior Member seishibella's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    I think I speak for everyone when I say "Vacation PLEASE!"...A girl can only take so much before it all gets to be way too much! The slow season doesn't help either and no matter how many articles I read on burn out, I just can't shake it nor afford it. Nothing bad lasts forever, it just FEELS that way. :{D
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  9. #9
    Veteran Member Innocense's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    Oh man, Calli, you really need a vacation. I totally understand you, if I work more than 5 nights a week I start getting frustrated and irritated at all the bull shit. If I have a guy saying something that bothers me, even if it is harmless, like, "Why are you a dancer?" (I hate this stupid question), I'll get really pissed off and I'll tell him to kiss my ass.....
    So yeah, you need some time for yourself so you can relax and stop worrying about being perfect and beautiful all the time. Put your jeans on and go out for some ice cream.... =)

  10. #10
    Featured Member 21stcenturyfox's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    *big hug* cally

    taking time off helps me keep going back. i get fed up so easily because i work in a hard hustle club that ive taken to working one night on and one night off and taking sunday and monday nights off for a break.

    take care of you first babe
    "Sex is currency. What's the use of being beautiful if you can't profit from it?" - Lily St Cyr (40's burlesque dancer)

  11. #11
    God/dess GoldCoastGirl's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    The travelling and your personal life has just gotten to you.

    You are human first and foremost. The loss of a relationship is very real and you need to give yourself time to grieve that loss.... just like you would any other "death".

    I know I personally can't work at my full potential if my personal life isn't working for me. It is called balance. I don't need my personal life to work 100% as we all have our ups and downs etc however I do need it to work somewhat so that I can then be to my upmost professional self.................... if you get me?

    I'm human. I can't operate like a robot and just leave my personal life "at the door" as such. That's a fucked up way for anyone to deal with their personal life... your personal life is your real self. How is your professional self (which is a persona and/or a mask you adapt) supposed to hold up and work if the foundation (your real self) is a little faulty (thru just stuff happening in your real life) ?

    You really need to take some time off. Do not travel for a whole month. GROUND YOURSELF.

    I try to stay home for at least two weeks at a time so that the travel doesn't get to me. I need that home time as that is my 'down' time as such. It allows me to get back in touch with my real self and re-engerise myself.

    This is the main reason why I do better elsewhere than at home because I've always seen home as my 'down time' and the time I use to re-charge not to actually earn a living as such.


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  12. #12
    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    Well, I think I said before that I think you might be a little fragile for this at this point in your life. I mean, that's the thing, right? We put up with a lot of shit, and somehow, for some reason, buried deep within human psychology, the one asshole screaming an insult is much more meaningful than the room of cheering guys. Some moron who you would not trust to make a movie recommendation, to pick a painting for your living room, to pick out a pretty dress, or to order you lunch still, for some reason, gets to make evaluations on our persons (and people thought Naomi Wolf is pointless and outdated!) It's hard - really some nights it feels like we climbing onto a slab and begging to be treated like meat - but you know, like GOOD meat. Of course, some nights to feel like a rock star. Life is a series of trade offs.

    Cally, honey - you're a very pretty girl. And next time a guys says something like that, just think - if he recommended a movie, would that make you think that you have to run out and see it? If not - why would you take his evaluation on your person as more meaningful?
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

  13. #13
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    I'm with the other girls.

    Sweetie, you've been going thru alot and you just need a break, that's all.

    Hang in there.

  14. #14
    Veteran Member xBlackBettyx's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    Well, if you're fat I'm fucking King Kong. Jeezuz. I bet he was the ugliest guy too, Or just like the 100lb stringy blond haired bimbos To each is own I suppose, but he was wrong.

    Fat...wtf....
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  15. #15
    Veteran Member vidadiva's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    Aww, you just need some Cally time. I believe every dancer feels similar at some point in time. Just know that you're not alone, and it shall soon past.

  16. #16
    Featured Member LilSweetVixen's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    I always have that feeling, like I'll never be skinny enough or pretty enough to be a really good dancer. I look at the myspace pages of other strippers and feel like vomiting. But it's motivation to work hard and be even better after recuperating.

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    (and people thought Naomi Wolf is pointless and outdated!)
    people think Naomi Wolf is pointless and outdated? she's coming to speak at my school next week.

    "You have demonic genius" -Naomi Wolf
    "I very much resent it when people - maybe with good intentions or from a progressive point of view - keep telling me, 'It's their culture' ... It's like saying the culture of Massachusetts is burning witches." -Azar Nafisi


  17. #17
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    the reason I stopped dancing was because I was tired of the cattynes. The nasty customer comments. And just the general bullshit that comes along with it.
    Cally. It sounds like you need a break. But with your situation at home you probably need the $$$.
    After your Winterpeg trip maybe time for a break?
    And to think I am getting back into it!

  18. #18
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    wow, Jenny, I love that theory. I'm going to make that the scale on which I weigh a random persons comments.

    Cally, When sonething so traumatic as the end of a relationship happens, we are on such an emotional high, and things effect us differently. Weigh this (featuring) with the next best job you could get. Which one is worth it? Will you be hit on by losers st both? yes. Will people be jack asses at both? yes. Will you have crouds scraming and cheering for you at both? doubtful. And very important: which one is the best money? Which would make you the most happy.

    I personally think you're just sensitive, and need to detatch Ashley Tyler from the real you. Become a different person.... you are not the feature, and the same thing won't bother you both. That helps for me a lot.

  19. #19
    beauty21queen
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    Aww Cally sweetie I say take a break.

  20. #20
    Veteran Member Aine's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    Because your personal life is going through what it is right now, it makes it twice as hard to not take what some random asshole says to heart. But just remember, he's just that, an asshole. And obviously he's an idiot with issues to begin with, which reflects nothing on you personally. It can be hard to just let things roll off you even when things are going good for you personally, and it's twice as hard when it's not. Your beautiful Cally and you should know this. Your value is not based on what some asshole at a club says. Not even remotely!! I think you should maybe try to schedule some time away from the featuring. Have some Cally time, time to deal with what your going through. You owe yourself that much. Your beautiful, you have an awesome personality and your a good person. Remember that! Love you Cally!!

  21. #21
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    i had an "i hate dancing" moment about a month ago and i was convinced that i was never going back because i was so over the drama and the nastiness that comes with it. and then another one last week when i had 3 days in a row of customers that made me feel disgusted and again, question if i could do this anymore. but they both passed. i think a lot of dancers have those moments every now and then.

    i suggest taking some time off and seeing if you miss it. sometimes that's the only way to find out for sure, you know?

  22. #22
    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    I have to wonder if the "fat bitch with saggy tits" comment didn't come from some of the house girls at that club. I have never worked a club where the feature was liked by the house girls - most see her as an annoyance, in the way, taking away precious hustle time, dragging in undesirable non-lap-buying customers, etc. Add that to a girl sitting with a guy having to wait to do their lapdances because the feature is on, girl makes a shitty comment to guy, guy is pissed off he can't have his lapdance right now, and I can see how some dipshit might start yelling that kinda crap about the feature, no matter who she is.

    I don't know if the clubs you work let the girls do lap/table dances while the feature is on, but in many US clubs we all have to stop unless we're in VIP - and it does get rather annoying at times.


    Anyway, it sounds like you probably just need a break. You've been working your ass off. Schedule yourself some time off, try to schedule your bookings a little further apart, etc.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

  23. #23
    242_fair
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    I am so sad to read you are not happy! You are just such a nice girl and you really don't deserve this.

    Frankly, I am not suprised you are depressed.

    Look at this city! It's fu*king -30 degrees outside every night when we go to work... it's dark so early and grey all day. On top of that you are having relationship problems and not to mention v-day. This is a recipe for loathing dancing and every other damn thing in your life. I'm right there with you girl.

    I hope you still have my number and don't be shy about calling me. I am working out in your part of the city and I would really like to take you out for a dinner sometime before I hit the club. There is an Itailan place on The Queensway with awesome pastas...

    My only suggestion is to take a few days off. Not a week or anything, because more free time will make you more depresed. Maybe just 3 days. Or, if you have some spare cash around, I can hook you up with an all inclusive leaving on Nov 23 for 7 days in Cuba for $950. Think about it.

  24. #24
    Member BoondockSaint's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    I don't know if I should be posting here or not, but I clicked on the thread out of curiosity, and you brought up something that I can't stand...."assholes screaming shit at me"... This may sound kinda strange, but at the club that I stop at, every now and then there will be some guy, or group of guys yelling stuff at the girls on stage and I just sit there and shake my head. I mean, I just find that absolutely classless! And of course, someone is probably gonna chime in with some lame comment like "but you're at a SC, blah, blah, blah." Just the other night when I was in the club that I go to, one of the girls who works there was talking to me and I was saying something to her ( I don't remember what it was I was saying at the time) and I had used an alternate word instead of dropping an F bomb or S bomb on her, to keep my language clean, you know? And she called me on it. I tried to explain to her that I just try not be vulgar around ladies (especially ones that I don't even know!) And she went into the whole, "You're in a SC, you can say stuff like that around here, blah, blah, blah." And I'm thinking, so just because of the environment I can't treat you like a lady? Anyway, back to what I was saying...Don't get me wrong...I find nothing wrong with cheering the ladies on and giving them support, I'm all for that. It's just the derogatory stuff that bugs me, or when guys toss money at the dancers...that bugs me too. Call me naieve, call me what you will, I just think that, just because you're getting naked doesn't mean you should be treated like a second class piece of trash. If I'm wrong about this, then I don't want to be right. Sorry for the rant, that's just my 2 cents. Thank you.

  25. #25
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: I think I hate dancing...

    You have to realize that by featuring you are putting yourself in the spotlight more than a regular house dancer, and along with all the extra positive attention, you're going to get extra negative attention.

    I don't mean to sound like a coach telling you to "walk it off", but that's what I'm telling you! Get back to work! You CAN DO IT. You don't need to take time off unless you're sick or on the verge of a nervous breakdown.

    Fuck that guy. One bad review in a room full of positives? Ignore it.

    You. Can. Do. It.

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