ok...
ok...
Last edited by Innocense; 05-03-2009 at 03:08 AM.
It's not silly.
None of us here are going to say something magic that lets you "get over it" quick.
Sure it's normal. Some guys do it, some don't.
WHAT YOU NEED TO DO, is sit down with him, and have a conversation telling him you're having a silly issue with it that you want his help in getting over.
I know it's awkward and childish, but relationships fail because the people involved don't have those "silly" conversations with each other.
It's not weird to be bothered by it, but it's weird to want to keep emotions that could get out of hand from the only person who can aid in making them useful, even at their silliest nature.
You've discovered something that bothers you, nip it in the but, discuss it, have fun with it, or else you'll notice it more and more, and it will eat at you and it will end up coming out in an argument that has nothing to do with porn and he'll realize you've had this feeling for months/years. Then ALL your communication is brought into question.
People are not ruled by their memories.
I don't think its silly. I am in a similar situation, I never used to get jealous of ex gf's or anything before but I never loved anyone before. With my current boyfriend I did. It was a problem, and your jealousy could turn into a problem like Mastridonicus said you should talk it out. If not, your jealousy could festor into something black and toxic.





Talk to him! He probably doesn't even think that it may bother you, so if you sit down and talk about it you can probably work something out.





It doesn't bother me if he looks at it, and I enjoy watching equally as much, but it's different for each person. The best thing you can probably do is sit down with him and tell him he doesn't need the video shit, you guys can make your own porn.





It would bother me if he said something inappropriate while watching it. Porn is suppose to be adult entertainment for both ppl to enjoy.
But DO tell him what is bothering you, bc if you don't that may build up some frustration, anger, drama.





No, it doesn't bother me at all and it never has. I love my man very much (4 years coming up soon!) and he doesn't watch it very often. Whenever he does, if I am around he tells me about it all sheepishly and I'm always like okay... so?
I think it is because every girl he was with before me hated it with a passion.
For me though, I know that I am not the only hot girl in the worldand it is normal for him to get sexually excited looking at other women. And there is no chance in the world that he would leave me for a picture/video of a girl on the internet. I know he loves me and thinks I am hot, so I don't care if he satisfies himself whatever way he wants when I am not in the mood.
^^^ Amen. I couldn't imagine getting jealous of a video. It's not like he's got a relationship with anyone on the screen or cares about them personally. It's just jerkoff material, who cares?




It bothers me, even though i am not bothered by him having actual sex with other people with my prior knowledge. And for me it's not so much the way the women look in the videos but the way they act, because i know i can't possibly act like that considering i'm just usually not very sexual. Meaning i'm not insecure about my appearance, just my lack of enthusiasm towards sex. i am in agreement that the best thing to do is talk about it to keep it from becoming a serious problem. i feel lucky in my current relationship that we trust each other enough to talk things out in order to avoid future resentment.
No it doesn't bother me at all. I know he doesn't expect me to act like a porn star (althugh I am sure he wouldn't mind if I tried!)....I LOVE action films, the kind with strong brave masculine men, who have witty come backs and buldging muscles. Do I expect my man to act that way? Nope...but it doesn't mean I don't like to watch it!
It's entertainment, and like one poster said, as long as it doesn't interfere with our sex life, I have no problem with it.
I think insecurity is what makes most women uncomfortable with their SO's watching porn (that's probably a stupidly obvious observation..). Body issues, sexual issues, etc....I personally could not imagine saying to my husband "You can't watch that because she gives head better than I do, or she has a better body than me, or she is more adventurous than I." But that's just me.
ETA: To the OP's actual question. I would say you should talk to him for sure about it, at least let him know how you are feeling so he has a chance to do something about it, or to try and help you. If he doesn't know it's making you uncomfortable, then he really can't be blamed for his actions. And maybe you two will find something that you enjoy together out of all that.Good luck!
Last edited by ExoticEngineer; 02-16-2007 at 06:05 PM. Reason: I was rambling.
OMG! My husband and I argure over this all the time. IDK why but it REALLY bothers me for him to look at porn. I even told him about it and he said that he wouldn't. One day i was suppose to go grocery shopping and left my money at home. I came in and he tried to leave out the room. I noticed lotion and all by the computer. He had the nurves to say he was about to lotion his body. (like im some kind of dumb bitch). Then I looked at the history on the computer and it was full of porn. Then he had an adultfriendfinder account which pissed me the fuk off. He told me that it was old and that he signed up for it when he was younger. The damn date he registered for the account was in the email but he still denied it. So I totaly understand you on that. I guess i'm just insecure about that.
I don't mind.
Trust me, that jealous feeling goes away when youve been married awhile..
I dont care if he watches porn, I actually promote the idea. I'm not ok with physical contact with another woman........unless Im invited![]()
Yung
"Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
"And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion
Originally Posted by Mia M





I think this is exactly the reason that a girl in an otherwise normal relationship would have a problem with it.
Just like a woman would have a problem with her man going to a strip club- she is afraid she can't live up to the fantasy it portrays. And just like strippers, I think most porn stars don't act like that all the time.
BUT, it's just a fantasy! An integral part of a man's sexual life! Most normal guys, I think, realize this too and wouldn't go asking their girl why she doesn't XXX like the porn star. But they do enjoy experiencing it vicariously, through porn. I don't think thats a problem.




I've dated men where they are bothered by my love for porn! lol
"Where there is love there is life"-Mahatma Gandhi
"Be The Best, F!ck The Rest"- P.P.
I dunno . . . I know it shouldn't but it does bother me.It's like, I do my best to keep him satisfied, even when I'm not really in the mood, so why does he need to watch porn? He's explained it to me and other men have too and I totally get it on a logical, reasonable level but on an emotional one? Not so much. We watch it together sometimes which can be fun and I don't mind that at all. My jealousy use to be worse too! I would keep track of what was or wasn't moved around in his porn drawer! Maybe I can be a little psycho sometimes . . .
Now he either looks at it at work (he works a graveyard shift) or on the computer at home when I'm asleep or not around. I think another part of it is that I don't masturbate myself cuz I don't ever cum, so why bother? Maybe if I did, I would be more sympathetic.




I actually buy my boyfriends porn and I love to watch porn movies while having sex.
,mk.bvcvcbvc
Last edited by Innocense; 05-19-2009 at 05:03 PM.





yeah, true. the sex industry is more catered to men of course. but i do enjoy watching orgy flicks w/my man once in a while. but i preffer watching porn alone more. porn is healthy. hehe
the only person who i hated watching it with was my ex. and it was bc out of no where he compared the actress' pussy to some ex. who was the love of his life.yeah, that killed the mood for me. but in that situation, it wasn't really about the porn.
Ok, in this case, your man needs to switch off the porn for a bit and start working with you on orgasm! When I first started having orgasms at 19, I spent several months watching every kind of porn imaginable so I could have better fantasies so I could get off. THAT'S what you both need!
"Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
"And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion
Originally Posted by Mia M


news flash: he's not watching porn because you're not enough for him. he's watching it because it's more fun to whack off while watching porn than to do so while staring at a blank wall. how about you work on your elf-esteem issue instead of making his porn-watching the issue?
question: do you get jealous any time he masturbates or just when he watches porn?
Amen sister. My ex started having an obsession with spooging on my face. While I have no problem with guys jerking to porn for a fantasy (I love watching porn, especially with guys!), I am separate from those porn stars. They are entertainment and fantasy, I am real. Jenna, Briana, Tera, Asia, and Chasey are paid to cater to their fantasies. I am a living, breathing person and his lover. I am reality. He is not to confuse fantasy and reality.
Porn can have an effect on a man's sexual abilities if he gets addicted to it like in Lady Jade's situation. It can also desensitize. The penis enlargement forum has recognized that this can be a problem, and recommends cutting out porn if a guy has erectile dysfunction. If he starts mistaking the fantasy of Nasty Nymphos with you, then his thought process is going to get a little fucked up. My current bf has erectile dysfunction. He and his ex broke up 5 months into their apartment lease, but continued cohabitating for the rest of the year because neither of them could afford to live on their own. They slept in the same bed and saw each other naked all the time, yet no sex or even sexual thoughts were done. He jerked off to porn (in secrecy, she had issues and wouldn't even let him watch Mean Girls because it had girls in it) because it was his only release. All these experiences had left him jaded and unable to appreciate a living, breathing, hot, horny girl who wants sex at least twice a day. We're working on it, and since it's been going on this long, we suspect that it's physiological as well as psychological.
However, as long as a man is doing it for the fantasy, it's perfectly healthy.





I like watching it with my bf but I'd prob feel a little weird if he watched it without me. I would not feel jealous tho, it would be more about being concerned that a need of his wasn't being met by me.
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