Dear MySpace:
I understand that you have to pay the bills, and that must be difficult considering the enormous size and popularity of MySpace. I understand that advertising revenue is important, and allows MySpace to remain a free service. I do not begrudge you the advertisements I see on the website.
However, whose brilliant idea was it to have these advertisements generate speech and loud, jarring noises? A couple of weeks ago, I had scrolled past the ad, and I was sitting quietly in a darkened apartment late at night by myself, missing my boyfriend and thinking about how long it would be until he came home. And suddenly, a strange male voice appeared from nowhere and announced, "I'm counting down the minutes until I can be with you again!"
It was creepy. It was really, really creepy. Talking banner ads are a new one on me, and it took me some time to realize where the voice was coming from. My heart rate didn't slow down until sometime after that. It's a very good thing my heart is healthy, because there's nothing to jolt it into overdrive like a strange male voice in my dark apartment announcing the very thing I'm thinking about.
And today, you have an advertisement for some shitty horror movie. This ad generates a very shrill, piercing, startling noise. I find this highly unpleasant. If I wanted to be startled by shrill, unwelcome noises, I would go see the movie. Please, preserve the integrity of the horror genre by restricting those thrills to those who have paid for them.
I understand the place that advertisements have on the internet. But in my opinion, internet ads should be seen and not heard. Please, for the love of G-d, shoot the talking-ad guy and tell those advertisements to shut the fuck up.
Thank you.


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