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Thread: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

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    Default Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    Just wondering what everyone's biggest obstacles they've either overcome now or are still working on overcoming them? Mine is really truely knowing how to work a room and secondly being able to look across the room and be able to predict a majority of the time that guy has money to spend. The times I've approached guys and gotten them to spend money I still attribute it to "I got lucky" or my hustle just worked on him. I know dancers that can look at customers and say "they just have the look" that they have money and 2/3 times the dancer is right and got them back in VIP. (One friend of mine in particular who used to work with me who went to another club, she just had a knack for picking out good customers-1 reg of her's with a black amex who saw her weekly)

    It didn't take me too long to get the confidence and define "my look" with my hair, makeup, clothes, etc. and didn't take me long to make "friends" at the club. I feel pretty much on top of everything except for the two listed above. Maybe I'm being hard on myself, I've only been dancing for 8 months now.

    Does anyone on here feel there are a couple of obstacles that you're still working on and have had a hard time overcoming them?

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    God/dess PleasureVictim's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    I think you are doing great. You know your weaknesses and that wil help you get better in the future. I've been dancing almost as long as you have and I still can't work the room the way I'd like to. I have the look, but that high confidence still eludes me sometimes . My obstacles are at a more personal/psychological level so it may take a little while. I've just decided to take it one day at a time and not to be too hard on myself. It will come in time.

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    Veteran Member logan820's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    Yea I also have a hard time working the room, for me it is the hustle, sometimes I spend too much time with the wrong person, I am also working on drinking less while I work, being totally sober

  4. #4
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    hmmm.

    1. taking things to seriously.
    2. Getting upset when it's slow, and then still bein upset later when it's not (I'm 80% over this one)
    3. not dealing well with regulars.

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    Featured Member sunnie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    ^^^this is totally the same for me.

    Also:
    Staying motivated when I am tired.

    turning around my bad nights. i.e. taking it too personally when dealing with an extra amount of rejection. I was working hard on that tonight, and my night went from just kinda ok to really good in the last hour tonight.

  6. #6
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    My obstacles:
    Making it in to work more than 2 days a week.
    Staying at work longer than 4 hours
    Not getting upset when its slow, or Im having a lot of rejection. I let it bother me to much and get unmotivated.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    If I have an obstacle, it's my tendency to argue with a jerkoff who says something stupid. I have learned to just walk away or say something cutting WHILE I'm walking away, but sometimes I just can't help arguing with the dude for a few minutes and it's very counter-productive. I walk away most of the time, but I would like to do it EVERY time.



    As for picking out money guys. It's not just a matter of standing around looking across the room and picking out guys with money who don't mind spending it. There are many non-verbal cues involved and it takes time to learn them.

    Some girls come into the business with some background knowledge on this, but most of us just have to put in our time to figure it out. (I have a feeling the girl you mentioned in your OP came into the business with some of that background knowledge )

    Also, there's the issue of which guys will be willing and able to spend on you. Not every guy who walks into the club with money to spend will be interested in spending it on you, and there's nothing you can do about that except move on to someone who is interested in you.

    What I do is keep watching the room and what's going on around me, always. If I see the funny money girl at a table I know she's getting money for that table and I will hightail it over there. If I see a guy dressed nicely (not too dressed up - those in full suits rarely spend much) and breaking his neck to check me out, I am ON him. I slyly watch out for who's watching me when I'm doing dances. I look at what a guy is drinking - if he's drinking a more expensive beer or cocktail he's often a good target.

    Use the stage to scope out the room. Especially since you're on stage alot at your club.

    When you're with one guy, slyly and casually look around to see who else might be a good target so you can immediately go to him when/if you leave the current guy. While you're at it, if you see someone checking you out while you're talking or dancing for current guy, wink or stick out your tongue at him - just a quick flirt on the sly. This saves alot of time - no standing around between customers twiddling your thumbs.

    The biggest thing is - who is checking you out!


    I qualify guys in several ways:
    *What they're drinking - more expensive drinks are better signs
    *What they're wearing - nicer clothes but not too stuffy or dressed up is best for me. NEAT clothes are a good sign - most men with money many not dress fancy but they dress NEATLY. They also may dress very casually but often their clothes are of better quality. Learn to pick this out.
    *What they're tipping (or not)
    *Whether they offer drinks and how they react to what I order
    *Their expressions and body language - open expressions and body language is best. Guys with a sour expression, closed body language or looking too serious are not good candidates.

    There are other things I look for which are just hard to explain.


    One thing that might help you is to practice scoping out guys in other situations. Go with a couple stripper friends to a bar, restaurant, whatever and play the Which Guy Would Spend Money at the SC game. It's rather entertaining and can help you get better ideas what you should look for - much better than we can give on a message board!

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    Quote Originally Posted by Bridgette View Post
    If I have an obstacle, it's my tendency to argue with a jerkoff who says something stupid. I have learned to just walk away or say something cutting WHILE I'm walking away, but sometimes I just can't help arguing with the dude for a few minutes and it's very counter-productive. I walk away most of the time, but I would like to do it EVERY time.
    wow, i coulda written that almost verbatim, except im 90% over it. i do just walk away and say something as i walk away. but im even over that sometimes too.

    I qualify guys in several ways:
    *What they're drinking - more expensive drinks are better signs,
    and water!!!! a guy willing to pay $4+ for a bottle of water = money
    *What they're tipping (or not)
    i dunno on this one, guys dont really tip at my club.. so that's tough. but guys not tipping might spend a large lump sum on a girl. i wouldnt write off a non tipper, if the other signs were there. but to distinguish an non-tipper from a cheapass is a skill.
    *Whether they offer drinks and how they react to what I order
    yes!!! if they will buy me a $5 water, it's saying a good bit about what they might be willing to spend.
    *Their expressions and body language - open expressions and body language is best. Guys with a sour expression, closed body language or looking too serious are not good candidates.
    and to add to this one, guys who wont look you in the eye while you are talking with them probably will not buy what you are selling.

    B's advice is good, as always i just wanted to add a bit.

    OH and shoes. shoes are important and tell ALL. as do watches. but shoes more so. obv a guy in etnies/old sneakers vs a guy in bruno malis/loafers with no socks... the latter! always!

    Love it!

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    I am 90+% over the arguing thing too, but as I said, I would like to be over it ALL the time. I'm working on it.

    The tipping thing - I don't just mean on stage. I mean period - for drinks or anything else. If he is a complete non-tipper he's usually a cheapass altogether.

    Shoes and watches: I don't pay attention to those because I mostly don't know the difference, especially in a dark club. Most mens shoes are dark and I'd literally have to get down on the floor and practically put my nose on the damn things to see them. My night vision sucks ass, even with glasses. Add to that the fact that their shoes are dark, the club is dark and the floor is darker still, and I can't tell if he's wearing cheapass shit from Payless or $300 loafers. Watches - if he has on long sleeves I can't see it at all, and frankly it's difficult to tell the difference between a real good one and a cheap one in a dark club, again without examining it more closely. People say you can always tell a good watch by the weight, so does that mean I'm supposed to take it off the dude and weigh it? Riiiight So basically I don't rely on those things at all and rather look for other cues.

    I also don't advise girls to look at shoes and watches because the vast majority are like me and can't really tell the difference between the cheap ones and expensive ones in the strip club.

    But it's much easier to see the difference between nice clothes and cheap or sloppy shit. Especially if you casually brush his shirt to get a feel of it. And notice his neatness - neat jeans and a nice polo with the shirt tucked in often means money. A nice suit with his jacket and tie removed, and a nice dress shirt that's loosened at the collar often means money. Once you've seen plenty of suits/shirts it's easy to tell the difference between a nice one and a cheap one. A fully buttoned up suit usually means NO money in my experience - poser/bullshitter/time-waster.

    Drinks are also much easier to catch.

    Oh yeah - I have noticed that most men who wear too much cologne don't spend much money. It goes along with the overdressed thing I think.
    Last edited by Bridgette; 02-18-2007 at 04:38 AM.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    As usual Bridgette your advise is worth it's weight in gold (or tips LOL).
    I'm with u on the watch thing, there are too many fakes around anyway even if u can tell a good watch from a cheap one.

    All I have to add is that don't discount young guys, esp if u are their "type" - a lot of posts on SW always talk about how they approach older men assuming they have more money. I ALWAYS make more of younger guys between ages of 18-30. Older men I usually will only get a dance or two and professionals in suits - not only can they be posers but also too smart to easily part with their money. When I say too smart I dont mean that buying dances isn't worth it etc but they often won't let their money go easily and they won't go crazy out of control with spending like some younger, drunker men will.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    Add:

    I just re-read what the OP asked.
    My biggest obsticle to overcome was self-esteem. I still have my good and bad days but I know I am worth their money and I'm too good to sit around and not get paid.

    Something I am still trying to overcome is that I want to approach more customers. I still probably rely on them approaching me too much which works on busier nights but kills my money on slow nights.

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    Featured Member 21stcenturyfox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    obstacles = not approaching every customer, letting dead nights get to me, getting fed up too quickly and being impatient.
    Last edited by 21stcenturyfox; 02-18-2007 at 02:48 PM.
    "Sex is currency. What's the use of being beautiful if you can't profit from it?" - Lily St Cyr (40's burlesque dancer)

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    Featured Member dangerousdiva's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    My biggest obstacle is, after doing really well nights in a row (it does always happen in strings), when I come back to work I find that I don't try as hard. It's alomst like I get "conceited" for lack of a better word and won't tolerate the typical riff raff and just walk off, and end up leaving early. I justify that the other nights average out and I still am reaching my daily goal.

    Grrrr, but I could well surpass my goal if I just started fresh that night without these "prima donna" thoughts.

    I used to never do this and always hustle no matter how well or how bad I am doing. It's frustrating because I know I could be making so much more money, especially now that I don't work every week like I did before. I only work 7-10 days in a row a month and I need to do well every one of those days.

    This wasn't an issue when I worked every week but now I find myself doing this.

    So, my biggest obstacle is to work hard and keep hustling no matter how I have done previous nights!

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    Veteran Member dollyrocker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    I always ask everyone for dances, because you just never know. Half the time I think I'll get rejected I don't : ). I have my own strategy for figuring out who the most likely canidates are though, and so far it's worked well for me.

    When you aren't dancing, don't just run off to the dressing room or to use your phone, etc. etc. Use this down time to analyze the customers.

    I work at a club that attracts a wide array of customers, because our girls have a wide array of looks. Generally speaking, men tend to have a 'type' or two of girls they go for. This can help you figure out who your best bets are.

    I'm a tall, thin, small chested, brunette girl of mixed heritage (that to most people just looks white). So when I'm not dancing, I scope to see which guys the brunette white girls, thin girls, and small chested girls are dancing for. Then I make it a priority to hit these guys up for dances too. 9 times out of 10 I get a yes from them.

    And if a guy buys dances from all kinds of girls, DEFINATELY hit him up as thats almost a guaranteed yes, hehe.

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    Veteran Member dollyrocker's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    And as far as my biggest obstacle goes, as a new dancer I don't know pole tricks yet, so I know that my stage shows are pretty lackluster. I'd like to improve my stage shows and eventually even choreograph routines for certain songs. I hope to be a much better dancer by the end of this year, haha.

    Also, I want fake boobs. I KNOW I could make a lot more $$$ with them.

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    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    My biggest obstacle was working consistently, coming in at least 4 times a week. As an all or nothing person, I would work somewhere a week straight, hustle my ass off almost non-stop, then not work at all for a week or two.

    I agree with B as far as the "tells" for spenders. The watch and shoes don't mean much for me, Its easy to buy a fake rolex. Hell, a guy in Florida GAVE me his Rolex. I was so excited until an appraiser told me it was fake.

    In Texas, I looked for polo shirts that had some type of IT company logo on it. That may seem strange, but there are a lot of Dellionaires and engineering guys here who are travelling and/or have decent buck to spend.

    Also, if you have a chance to eavesdrop on conversation, see what they are talking about. I loved to hone in on contractors (the owner types) because they are ALWAYS talking business, and they pay well in cash.

    Don't ignore the blue collar guys either, some of them are really sweet and good customers, even if they can't spend too much. But be VERY assertive with them, and don't spend to much time trying to "seduce" them. Just throw out a few dirty jokes, touch some arms, and see who reacts positively. You can quickly make $100 off a group like that with very little bullshit compared to having to "work" a white-collar PL into his "fantasy". Same goes with young guys.

    One reason that I did so well with dancing is that I mixed it up. I never focused on finding the one, that regular whale. I gave almost everyone an opportunity. Different types of customers evoke different types of emotions out of me. Some are more tolerable than others.

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    When I really dislike them, on a personal level. This happens especially in the summer in Alaska which is my home, where I have this intense dislike for the assholes who come from all over the world and pay big money to kill our fish and bears and moose. I wanna be like, "motherfucker go home and shoot animals! Oh, that's right, you and your buddies already killed everything living around you, didn't you? Well go shoot your fucking buddies then, maybe it'll make room for some life to come back down there." But I try to be nice instead, and it ends up coming out as little passive aggressive digs. Woops.



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    Featured Member 21stcenturyfox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lena View Post
    When I really dislike them, on a personal level. This happens especially in the summer in Alaska which is my home, where I have this intense dislike for the assholes who come from all over the world and pay big money to kill our fish and bears and moose. I wanna be like, "motherfucker go home and shoot animals! Oh, that's right, you and your buddies already killed everything living around you, didn't you? Well go shoot your fucking buddies then, maybe it'll make room for some life to come back down there." But I try to be nice instead, and it ends up coming out as little passive aggressive digs. Woops.
    oooh wow, that would really get to me, im sorry you hav to deal with that
    "Sex is currency. What's the use of being beautiful if you can't profit from it?" - Lily St Cyr (40's burlesque dancer)

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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    i let things affect me when im working. like, the other night at work i got in a fight with a guy friend of mine when he called me. i shouldve waited and dealt with it later, but i didnt.

    i drink too much, too. sometimes i make work my party time, which is never ever ever good.

  20. #20
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    being afraid to aproach the young cute guys, or anyone attractive to me. I wait for them to approach me, even though I know I typically can do well with them.....

    i just get intimidated....

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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    Mine is making sure that I don't sit and talk with a customer too long. Sometimes I go out of hustle mode and find myself just bullshitting with them. HORRIBLE habit, but I'm still somewhat new to working in a club where I have to hustle, so I figure it takes time.

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    Featured Member mina loy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    my obstacles are comparing myself to other girls in dancing ability and sales ability. having only danced for 7 months i should know that it takes time to know the business and find the money. sometimes i can't find it and sometimes i've hit the nail on the head. i also have a hard time getting rejected so often and being in a bad mood for the rest of the night, which doesn't help me sell at all. also, letting other girls "swoop" in on a VIP customer.

  23. #23
    Veteran Member vidadiva's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    I'm still working on how not to take rejection personal so I don't let it build up on the inside. Talking to a customer for a few, suggesting a dance in a few different ways and hearing a no is one thing. But nothing gets under my skin more than seeing a bunch of guys by the stage tipping dancer(s) who are practically two stepping or posing on the pole, and as soon as I get called to the stage, they all of a sudden become broke or leave to go to the bar before I can finish wipe the pole down. It makes me feel like an ugly, out of shape, untalented, stinky person, even though a mirror would say differently. I have yet to find a way to positively perceive that.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    Quote Originally Posted by Chrissy68 View Post
    a guy in bruno malis/loafers with no socks...
    LOL

    you know how I love the guy with no socks. They always spend!

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    Featured Member dangerousdiva's Avatar
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    Default Re: Your biggest obstacles you're trying or have overcome?

    So True!

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