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Thread: My Boyfriend Hunt

  1. #1
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default My Boyfriend Hunt

    Ok, I admit it. I really want a boyfriend! But not just any boyfriend. I'm auditioning, and I'm being more critical than Simon from American Idol. There are TONS of guys I meet who want to date me (just like most of my fellow strippers) but I don't really want to date them!

    I'm sick of the rats and super rats I meet in the club, and hate the bar scene. So I joined eHarmony.com, match.com, and divebuddies.com (I LOVE to scuba dive and it's a fun site for meeting other divers. Divers tend to be fun, adventurous people). Any other good dating sites?

    I'm communicating with all sorts of nice guys, but here's a question... how do I tell them "self-employed" means "stripper" and not scare them off? I'm not going to be a stripper forever, and it would be really great to meet a NICE guy who can deal with it in the meantime. It seems like nice guys don't want to date strippers, and DAMNIT my job is the least important aspect of me as a person. I'm going to be finishing school soon and dancing will be a thing of the past. I don't feel like I'm doing anything "wrong" in my line of work, but most people don't understand that. Every important relationship I've had since I started dancing has been undermined by jealousy.

    How do I tell them? When do I tell them? What should I say? I don't want to seem apologetic because I'm NOT sorry I'm a dancer, but I want to seem understanding that it is a lot for a significant other to handle.

  2. #2
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    when I had a match.com ad I wrote something like, "I don't know how to say this without attracting all the crazies...and I don't want to NOT say it, but I'm a stripper."

  3. #3
    God/dess greenidlady1's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    Any luck with match.com or eharmony.com?

  4. #4
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    Quote Originally Posted by greenidlady1 View Post
    Any luck with match.com or eharmony.com?
    Just like the real world, it's 90% duds and 10% with great potential. I've met some pretty nice looking guys with good jobs so far. Haven't gone out on any dates yet. eHarmony tends to have more guys looking for serious relationships.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    I liked match.com because just about everyone that's single and on the internet and looking is on there, but they recently upped their rate for $40/month. One month is sufficient for a pretty girl too, so the bulk deals aren't really worth it, imo.

    I'm cheap though, so I've been trying myspace.

  6. #6
    Featured Member tampadancer's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    I signed up on match recently and had a great response. I was inundated with emails and winks, but the first two guys that I went out with proved to be truly awesome, wonderful men.

    Now I'm trying to decide between the two. What's a girl to do?

    Good luck! And I agree with Emily, one month is enough. I signed up for three months off the bat, and had my profile hidden by the end of the second week because I had already met plenty of great guys...

  7. #7
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    divebuddies.com (I LOVE to scuba dive and it's a fun site for meeting other divers. Divers tend to be fun, adventurous people)
    Just sharing...one of my exes was a scuba diver & since then I have a grudge against divers in general. Won't date them, it just makes me frown to be reminded of his flaky ass

    Anyway, my advice is to tack "and I'm an exotic dancer!" on the end of your bio & act like it's no big deal. Any man with enough brains will follow your lead and act like it's not a big deal.

    (Just don't sleep with these dudes.)

  8. #8
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    Why do you have to put that you are a stripper on the profile? Can you not just say that you work at a bar and then once you get to talk to the guy you can discuss it? Or is that sneaky? I don't know...it just seems that if you put it on the profile it might bring you a lot of attention from guys who just want to "score a date with a stripper".

    Or maybe fluff it up a bit and label it Professional Dancer. lol, that's a bit silly to us but maybe it would come across better to someone on the outside, not such a novelty phrase like stripper.




  9. #9
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    Quote Originally Posted by ExoticEngineer View Post
    Why do you have to put that you are a stripper on the profile? Can you not just say that you work at a bar and then once you get to talk to the guy you can discuss it? Or is that sneaky? I don't know...it just seems that if you put it on the profile it might bring you a lot of attention from guys who just want to "score a date with a stripper".

    Or maybe fluff it up a bit and label it Professional Dancer. lol, that's a bit silly to us but maybe it would come across better to someone on the outside, not such a novelty phrase like stripper.
    I don't want to say I'm a stripper on my profile because I don't want to attract freaks. That's why I say "self-employed" on my profiles. Breaking the truth is the problem.

  10. #10
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    Ok, I admit it. I really want a boyfriend! But not just any boyfriend. I'm auditioning, and I'm being more critical than Simon from American Idol. There are TONS of guys I meet who want to date me (just like most of my fellow strippers) but I don't really want to date them!

    I'm sick of the rats and super rats I meet in the club, and hate the bar scene. So I joined eHarmony.com, match.com, and divebuddies.com (I LOVE to scuba dive and it's a fun site for meeting other divers. Divers tend to be fun, adventurous people). Any other good dating sites?

    I'm communicating with all sorts of nice guys, but here's a question... how do I tell them "self-employed" means "stripper" and not scare them off? I'm not going to be a stripper forever, and it would be really great to meet a NICE guy who can deal with it in the meantime. It seems like nice guys don't want to date strippers, and DAMNIT my job is the least important aspect of me as a person. I'm going to be finishing school soon and dancing will be a thing of the past. I don't feel like I'm doing anything "wrong" in my line of work, but most people don't understand that. Every important relationship I've had since I started dancing has been undermined by jealousy.

    How do I tell them? When do I tell them? What should I say? I don't want to seem apologetic because I'm NOT sorry I'm a dancer, but I want to seem understanding that it is a lot for a significant other to handle.
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  11. #11
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    Quote Originally Posted by tampadancer View Post
    Now I'm trying to decide between the two. What's a girl to do?

    Oh I think you've decided
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  12. #12
    God/dess ExoticEngineer's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    I don't want to say I'm a stripper on my profile because I don't want to attract freaks. That's why I say "self-employed" on my profiles. Breaking the truth is the problem.
    Oh oh oh! Now I get it...sorry, not too quick over I guess.

    I used Match.com and met my the man I married.... I'll be keeping my fingers crossed for you!

    Funny story though...our first date, and we hit it off really really well, so I decided I needed to test the waters a bit.. He's taking a bite of food and I ask him "How do you feel about Bisexuality?" I had to ask because it's a big deal to me, I didn't want to date a guy who was going to freak out on me if I look at a woman or make a comment here and there. So anyway, he's chewing his food very slowly, swallows and says "Well, I feel that any person on this earth has right to feel and do what they want as long as it doesn't hurt anyone else, we are all free to explore whatever avenues we want to explore, and..uhm...Do you think I'm bi or something?"

    Hahaha! Such a dork!

    But I figured just having a conversation about it was the way to break the ice...we had been talking about everything from politics to the marketing of soap...so throwing that in there wasn't a big deal, and it gave me a good idea of how he would react.

    (of course after I gave him sh*t for a while I let him off the hook about the whole Bi thing )




  13. #13
    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    I'd say that you don't have to tell them anything right away, and once you DO tell them, if they have a problem with it, you probably wouldn't want to be with them anyway.

  14. #14
    Veteran Member StuartL's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    Have you thought about just starting them gently with 'I am a dancer'?

  15. #15
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Hyde View Post
    I'd say that you don't have to tell them anything right away, and once you DO tell them, if they have a problem with it, you probably wouldn't want to be with them anyway.
    See, I can understand why someone wouldn't want to date a dancer, because it is a lot to handle It's just depressing to meet a fantastic guy and he blows you off because of the connotations of your job.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    yep! I've just accepted it's one of those jobs where you have to make sacrifices in your personal life for your job.

    I've thought of lying, but I just can't do that either. it's a no-win proposition. You want him to hate it (the guys tha tlike it are creepy), but he can never suggest you quit!

  17. #17
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    I've thought of lying, but I just can't do that either. it's a no-win proposition. You want him to hate it (the guys tha tlike it are creepy), but he can never suggest you quit!
    You're exactly right! I want a guy who would never think it's cool to date a stripper. Those guys are definitely creepy jerks.

    My last boyfriend was perfect. He didn't like the job, but not because of the sexual aspect, but because he thought I was too bright to be throwing away my mental energy enchanting money out of suckers and because he worried about my safety. He told me how smart I was all the time, and how he knew I was going to make something great of myself. He never pressured me to quit, but always helped with money if I needed to take a break from work or if I was struggling. But then his wife found out

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    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    I would just hint at it in your profile, like, "and hopefully you won't mind that my profession is a little deviant." I mean, you could be a mortician or a stripper, but he knows there's something there that you'll talk about someday.



  19. #19
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    I've heard alot of success stories about match(ew, that sounded like an advertisement lol). I was on it a few years ago, but I had no business being on there bc I wasn't even really looking. lol.

    If there's no luck with the sites, you can also never go wrong with meeting ppl within friends too.

  20. #20
    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    See, I can understand why someone wouldn't want to date a dancer, because it is a lot to handle It's just depressing to meet a fantastic guy and he blows you off because of the connotations of your job.
    Again though...great guys, the kind you'd want to be with, would be able to handle it. Hard to handle? Yes. Impossible? Not at all. A guy I've known since 2nd grade (we're both 40 now) dated and is now married to a girl who was stripping when he met her. He is a great guy, they have two kids, and are the all-American family. He had no problem with her stripping.

    Don't settle for a guy. You can find the guy out there. Good guys do exist.

  21. #21
    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    Quote Originally Posted by Mr Hyde View Post
    Good guys do exist.
    yeah, and they don't want to get serious strippers

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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    I feel similar to some comments that have been made- I don't like dating guys who think it's cool, or even "no problemo- nice!" that I dance. The guy I'm seeing is obviousy not very thrilled about it, but not to the point that he doesn't want to date me, I guess, in spite of it. He just thinks it's "weird", and wonders if I think I can do it forever, and I say "no" and change the subject. It's nothing too serious, but I like his attitude better than "awsome- you're a stripper- that's so hot". I try just not to talk about it. It seems problematic no matter what though, huh?

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    Veteran Member Rockette's Avatar
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    I honestly wouldn't list your occupation on your profile just because the potential for some creepy guys looking to date you. Many guys only believe the stripper stereotype because they have never been to one, so even if you go on a date that is with someone who is potentially against them, you could set them straight. I would keep self-employed as an occupation, until they asked further what it is exactly that you do.
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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    You want him to hate it (the guys tha tlike it are creepy), but he can never suggest you quit!

    So, what you're looking for is someone who can sucessfully walk on egg shells on a tightrope?
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

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    Default Re: My Boyfriend Hunt

    i dont know my husband has never had a problem with it. he's far from creepy, has a great career and we have been togather almost 9 years.
    i told him as soon as we hung out more than once. i made it clear i wasnt a hooker, didnt fuck around after or during work. i told him this is who i am and if you want to hang around with me that was the way it was. of course he saw as time went on that what i said was true and that i treated it like a business.

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