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Thread: All Academically Educated Dancers!

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    Smiley All Academically Educated Dancers!

    I am just curious about those girls who are dancing to pay for medical school, law school etc.,..how do you treat those customers who try to make you feel bad for what your doing?..when they say things like.."your too nice to do this job.", Recently Ive been jumping around clubs alot and so it is hard to meet girls who are using this job as a way to further their professional careers and ask thier advice on the business.
    When I have asked girls in clubs I work at ,they are abrasive and immediately negative about the business..maybe because they feel threatened..I'm not sure.
    My main questions include:
    how do you separate your personal life from your work?
    how to you plan to make the transition to this work environment to the professional world?
    How do you keep motivated daily to continue working despite all the negative people and byproducts in this business?

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: All Academically Educated Dancers!

    you can't win!

    They make you feel bad if you're not in school either. Just don't even try.

    As for separating work/personal life. Just don't let work enter your personal life. Don't let customers contact you (call) when you're not there. Don't do OTC dates. Use a fake name. Don't let friends come see you at work. Don't talk about work with your friends and don't talk about your personal life at work.

    You can't let other people's opinions of you affect you that much or this business will eat you up.

  3. #3
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: All Academically Educated Dancers!

    ^ I agree with Emily...you can't win. If you didn't graduate/aren't in school now, they kinda mock you for not planning a career in something besides stripping; if you graduated from college, they mock you for not finding a job in the field that you went to school for.

    The customers' comments didn't really bother me, until about half a year after I graduated college, when I was desperately jobsearching for a job in my career field, and wasn't having any luck with it. It wasn't that I cared what the customers themselves thought of me; it was moreso the annoyance that I was being reminded of something that I already considered a "weakness"(i.e., not being able to find a regular job, thus feeling "obligated" to dance to pay the bills). Also, it seemed that the customers who made flippant comments about me apparently not using my college degree, were the ones who weren't spending anything(now if they paid for VIPs, then maybe I wouldn't have minded anything they said that much! lol).

    Now here's my answers to your questions:

    Quote Originally Posted by happygo
    how do you separate your personal life from your work?
    Hmm I was taking courses at a Catholic college while I was dancing lol...Let's see, I wouldn't mention dancing to anyone but my close friends. I made sure that work life was very separate from dancing life. I will admit that sometimes it is hard to separate personal life from work life, in the sense that I danced during nights, so I wasn't able to socialize with friends on most nights like I used to. As a result, I spent less time socializing(which was also a good thing, because it forced me to focus on things like schoolwork during the daytime when my friends were at work, or saving money that I'd otherwise spend on going out).

    Quote Originally Posted by happygo
    how to you plan to make the transition to this work environment to the professional world?
    I used dancing as a way to get through college; I did NOT go to college to become a dancer. I kept reminding myself of this, so that I would stay motivated to look for a regular job during my days(I mostly only danced at night). I made sure that I did part-time tutoring, volunteering, etc so that I would have something to put on my resume for the time I was dancing...since employers always like to question obvious-looking employment gaps, and I didn't want to put dancing on my resume. But if you are currently a student, then you don't really need to have a second job, because telling employers that you didn't work when in school is enough of an explanation.

    Quote Originally Posted by happygo
    How do you keep motivated daily to continue working despite all the negative people and byproducts in this business?
    For me, the main motivating factor that got me into dancing and through dancing, was MONEY. I needed money, and without money, I woulda never been able to finish college(remember when I said "I danced to get through college"?). I also kept dancing a secret to most people(except for close friends), I definitely kept it a secret from family, and I started avoiding the so-called "friends" who ridiculed me for dancing. It is easy to feel bad when some jerk criticizes you for dancing, until you realize that you need to pay for your bills somehow, and those jerks aren't contributing to your bills.

    For me, dancing was mostly just a money thing. There are some girls who genuinely love their job as a dancer and have great sales skills that help them to get far in the business. I wasn't as passionate about dancing as some of those girls. I stayed dancing after college until I was able to secure other forms of employment. A few months after I graduated, I started to get really burned out on dancing and was also really looking forward to a full-time job in my field. That made dancing slightly unbearable for me, but financial reminders(i.e., bills) kept me chugging along, while spending time on the side seeking a regular job.

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    Featured Member sunnie's Avatar
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    Default Re: All Academically Educated Dancers!

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    you can't win!

    They make you feel bad if you're not in school either. Just don't even try.

    As for separating work/personal life. Just don't let work enter your personal life. Don't let customers contact you (call) when you're not there. Don't do OTC dates. Use a fake name. Don't let friends come see you at work. Don't talk about work with your friends and don't talk about your personal life at work.

    You can't let other people's opinions of you affect you that much or this business will eat you up.
    Yep, yep, yep.

    When you actually believe that other people's opinions of you don't matter, especially in the fleeting context of a strip club, then Ahhh it is liberating. This includes your friends' opinion of your choice to dance.

    Nevertheless, I love making shit up at work .

    IMHO you should not allow your personal life to affect your work in any job: whether you are a tax collector or a corporate exec. You check your emotions at the door, most of the time at least. And you leave work at work.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: All Academically Educated Dancers!

    Quote Originally Posted by happygo View Post
    My main questions include:
    how do you separate your personal life from your work?
    how to you plan to make the transition to this work environment to the professional world?
    How do you keep motivated daily to continue working despite all the negative people and byproducts in this business?
    I am in my final year of law school.

    How do I separate my personal life?

    When I go to work I am Jessica (stage name) and when I am away from work I am not. I live a very normal (on the boring side) life when I'm not at work - I study, I'm always online, I exercise and I go shopping and go out and eat with friends and with my boyfriend. I guess what I do for work doesn't bother me.

    The transition from this world to the professional world:
    Well no matter what job I was doing whether dancing or another part time job it was always going to be hard to adjust to a professional job. I think it willl kill me getting up early 5 days a week and working long hours but I guess (like anything) I will get used to it after a while.

    As for staying motivated:
    The thing I like about dancing is that it is a challenge to me. It is totally up to me how hard I work and what I earn in a night - sure there are other factors that come into play such as number of patrons in the club and quality of the patrons. However, I am never one of those dancers who sits around and bitches about how shit it is or sits out the back all night or who gets so drunk at work that I don't make any money.


    As for your question about the negativity that people might try to infect us with - well I am comfortable enough with the fact that I dance therefore what some stranger who I do not care about says about my job does not have any affect on me.
    I will continue to hold my head up no matter what anyone says or thinks about it. My self worth is not and will not be determined by what others (esp patrons of the club) say.

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    Smiley Re: All Academically Educated Dancers!

    I read your responses and put into practice not caring about anyones opinion about what I do or how I look etc., in and outside the club, and I had a really great night in an otherwise dead club tonight.
    I have been looking at this job as a kind of marketing or sales job, seeing how to use what I have to my advantage,...it has made it 99% easier than before...taking things so personally.
    Thanks again for all the great reponses....Best of luck to all of you!!!

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: All Academically Educated Dancers!

    I've never had a customer make me feel bad about working at the club. I've had them TRY... to which I respond that I'm putting myself through college and they immediately change their tune. I generally don't tell the other dancers (except for the others who I know are also in school) because I feel weird vibes coming from them... like they think that I think that I'm "too good" kinda thing. As for your other questions:

    My family (except for my sister) doesn't know what I do and only my close friends know what I do for a living. That's a huge seperation. Other than that, my personal life is directly affected by my work. I can't go out friday nights because I'm working, I can easily skip work to do homework, and I have a (removeable) pole in my living room and some wall shelves/drawers specifically for my stripper stuff and various pairs of platform shoes lining my closet... So yea, they aren't THAT seperate... and that's okay with me. I'll make the transition to the "real world" when I'm about to graduate. My school has a program that will help to place me in a job at graduation. Still, I'm saving to have a backup stash. I like being able to buy what I want to buy and live comfortably (this includes cable and internet!). That's what keeps me motivated to work. I enjoy it. Fuck anyone else who has a problem with it.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  8. #8
    Picaresque
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    Default Re: All Academically Educated Dancers!

    Quote Originally Posted by Bella21 View Post
    Fuck anyone else who has a problem with it.
    Yes. And preferably up the ass with a splintery flagpole.

    If someone ITC starts making noise about how i'm supposedly "too good for this job blah blah blah", I always come back with the same line: "and you're going to pay my rent and tuition, and give me a couple thousand dollars every week for the next 7 years or so, with no strings attached? No? Then why are you running your mouth?"

    I've been saying this to stupid "white knights" ITC since June and NO ONE has ever been able to give me a response beyond just stammering.

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    Veteran Member Emiliana's Avatar
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    Default Re: All Academically Educated Dancers!

    I just tell them I'm a very intelligent capitalist who enjoys learning and taking control of my life. As far reconciling my two lives..I don't have to. Nobody is ever just one thing, one-sided, or one dimensional. I'm smart, driven, pretty, sexual and on and on and on. Don't ever let someone make you feel bad for taking an active role in the only life you'll ever have.
    Emiliana



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    Default Re: All Academically Educated Dancers!

    Nothing pisses me off more than a customer telling me that I am a piece of shit for doing what I do. Look motherfuckers, if we're so fucked up and dirty for being strippers, you are just as bad if not worse for coming in here and getting your rocks off at looking at us naked... But I digress.

    If a customer tells me that once, I playfully respond, "Oh, I am a nice girl, indeed." and then change the subject. Or, I will playfully say, "Oh darling enough talking about me, tell me about what you do."

    If they can't take the hint and drop it, walk away. It ain't worth the headache
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: All Academically Educated Dancers!

    Quote Originally Posted by happygo View Post
    I am just curious about those girls who are dancing to pay for medical school, law school etc.,..how do you treat those customers who try to make you feel bad for what your doing?..when they say things like.."your too nice to do this job.",
    roll your eyes and say "and yet... here we both are". Or "no I'm not. I get so hot when I'm on my knees grubbing around for money, I could just... oh god, yeah".
    Recently Ive been jumping around clubs alot and so it is hard to meet girls who are using this job as a way to further their professional careers and ask thier advice on the business.
    Advice on using dancing as a way to further a DIFFERENT career? keep it the hell out of it. There is really nothing else to know.

    When I have asked girls in clubs I work at ,they are abrasive and immediately negative about the business..maybe because they feel threatened..I'm not sure.
    Maybe because they know perfectly well that dancing can only hurt you in any professional field?

    how do you separate your personal life from your work?
    I dunno... you just do? Don't give colleagues cards to your bar? I never really get this question.

    how to you plan to make the transition to this work environment to the professional world?
    Plan ahead. Don't dance full time - keep something else on your resume. Do not assume that anyone will be understanding about it.

    How do you keep motivated daily to continue working despite all the negative people and byproducts in this business?
    Eeek. I really can't answer this.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: All Academically Educated Dancers!

    roll your eyes and say "and yet... here we both are". Or "no I'm not. I get so hot when I'm on my knees grubbing around for money, I could just... oh god, yeah".
    Bwahaha! Jenny, you need to be my script-writer for work.

    I think after awhile it all just stops bugging you. That hard stripper-shell develops. Eye on the prize, and all that.

    Feature costumes for sale!

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    Default Re: All Academically Educated Dancers!

    There are very few dancers in law school and definitely a lot fewer in med school because of the insane hours with the time commitment. Even dancing isn't flexible enough for that, so most people getting those advanced degrees just end up with massive student debt.

    I danced while I was in college, and in the five years I danced (I continued for a few years after I finished) I did see fewer and fewer dancers in school. I still met a lot of nursing students though, for some reason.

    I think a lot of that really has to do with money going down so much in the clubs. Ten years ago, a dancer could make more than a grand many nights pretty easily, so a couple of shifts a week was all that was necessary to keep her financially comfortable. Now, many dancers struggle to make $1K even working four shifts a week.

    Just another symptom of the business going downhill.
    "She has written so well, and marvellously well, that I was completely ashamed of myself as a writer...But this girl, who is to my knowledge very unpleasant and we might even say a high-grade bitch, can write rings around all of us who consider ourselves as writers"

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    Default Re: All Academically Educated Dancers!

    ^^ i'm planning on dancing through law school, not necessarily to pay for it, but because it's the only job that *is* flexible enough to do while i have such a heavy school committment.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: All Academically Educated Dancers!

    Quote Originally Posted by NinaDaisy View Post
    There are very few dancers in law school and definitely a lot fewer in med school because of the insane hours with the time commitment. Even dancing isn't flexible enough for that, so most people getting those advanced degrees just end up with massive student debt.
    Yeah... keep in mind that in many professional schools you're not supposed work... at all. It's actually in many student handbooks that they can (although probably won't) throw you out if you are committed to any non-school related activity for more than 10 hours a week. 10 hours. That's all the self-time you're meant to have.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: All Academically Educated Dancers!

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Yeah... keep in mind that in many professional schools you're not supposed work... at all. It's actually in many student handbooks that they can (although probably won't) throw you out if you are committed to any non-school related activity for more than 10 hours a week. 10 hours. That's all the self-time you're meant to have.
    when i thought i wanted to be a teacher we had those kind of rules for our full time student teaching semester. um, what about those of us who have to work? but this way, i *can* work only 1 or 2 shifts a week or something like that and make more money than if i was in a "normal" job.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: All Academically Educated Dancers!

    Well they do kind of look to the side - some students do work; some of them are working for the faculty for crying out loud (although I suppose that is a faculty related commitment). Their view would be - that is what massive student debt is for. Certain kinds of schooling is EXPECTED to full time and more than full time, and they want students to understand that treating it like "night school" or the way many of us treated our undergrad isn't optional. What time you don't spend in class you are expected to spend on other school related projects.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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