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Thread: Confidence & Starting Dancing Again

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    Veteran Member exotic0690's Avatar
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    Default Confidence & Starting Dancing Again

    Hi Ladies..
    I used to dance I danced for about 6 months at the same club. I wasn't very good on stage. I always moved too fast because I was always nervous, sweaty palms, sweating, I am very insecure and have zero self-confidence unless I am drinking while working...I really really want to go back dancing in about 3 months.. But I am so insecrue and just can't do stage and I am not a very good dancer I don't think..Does anyone have any tips on how to overcome the fear of stage and get used to it? Or how to bost self confidence to feel confidence on stage??
    I don't chase money. Money chases me.

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    Default Re: Confidence & Starting Dancing Again

    Dance in front of a mirror, so you can see what looks good and what doesn't and get used to it.
    Get a real close friend to dance for and get feed back from them.
    when you're out doing everyday things look people in the eyes when you talk to them, or just make eye contact with people over all...
    ignore that you're actually in a club, and just do like you would at home/get the DJ to play the music real loud and get into the music.
    take a pole dancing class or even just a normal dance class

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    Senior Member noctina's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confidence & Starting Dancing Again

    i used to be like that, too. EVERYONE who is new always dances too fast on stage. it's just like when you get nervous about giving a speech in front of people and you talk way too fast.

    try dancing to music that is slower and more sensual, and your body will move more slowly to the beat. i love dancing to marilyn manson and stuff, but it was too intense to dance to when i was new. just pick music with a really chilled out beat, so you can do your moves more slowly and carefully and focus on making them look good. i think a big mistake is when new people try to dance to crazy music and end up looking clumsy.

    also, i always feel waaaaay more confident when i am wearing the perfect outfit. invest in an outfit that matches well, is comfortable, and is "you". i always seem to go back to the schoolgirl look (pleated skirts, knee highs). i've wasted so much money on sparkly gowns and frilly lingerie but i never felt like it looked "right" on me. that shit just isn't my style. shop around until you find a combination that looks absolutely perfect on your body, and wear it on your first night back to dancing. you will feel 100% beautiful and unstoppable!

    as far as your dancing goes.... you know, i'm not that good of a dancer either, but my cuteness usually gets me by. it's all about the personality that you show on stage. make sure you smile at guys and make eye contact. give the guy a sexy little wink, and he's not going to care about how smoothly you twirl around the pole. just remember to move slowly and don't look like you're trying too hard. keep your shoulders back and your stomach firm. when you are at home, put on your dancing shoes and practice moves in their mirror so you know which moves make your body look good. and WATCH THE OTHER GIRLS! watch the transitions between their moves and try to imitate that smoothness. just let it flow. and remember that you're beautiful and that is what guys are paying attention to, so if you stumble a little bit i'm sure they won't mind.
    hits from the boooong

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    Default Re: Confidence & Starting Dancing Again

    Look at it from a guy perspective; we're far more interested in whether you have a nice figure and whether you've taken a liking to us, than whether you can move slinkily round the pole.

    What I would definately not advise is drinking so you can work. Firstly, I've seen a number of dancers prick up a bit of a drink problem because of it, and secondly, you might think the drink makes you more self-confident, but customers might get a different impression than the one you want.

    I'd ask yourself why you feel insecure and lack confidence. If you can understand why, then you can try to come to terms with it.

    If you feel you look arkward when dancing, then follow the advice given by the dancers in their thread and practice in front of a mirror/use slower music. We're not all natural dancers, but it is a skill that can be learned.

    If you feel uncomfortable about some parts of your figure, then go down the gym, etc, until you feel more comfortable. However, remember, few of us guys are looking for perfect figures, so as long as yours is nice and trim, I don't think you'll get any complaints.

    If you have trouble talking to guys, consider preparing a few topics of conversation; for example keep up to speed on the sports section of your local papers, so you can chat about the local team, etc. Far better to have a few things you're practised at talking about, than grope for a topic of conversation and get tongue tied.

    It might also be worth reading a book on body language and learning about flirtation signals. Mimic flirtation signals, and suddenly us customers will decide we really like you. (It's an ego trip for us to think the dancer really likes us )

    Above all, remember you're an actress playing a role. Leave your real self at the door of the venue and start playing the part you've mapped out for yourself. It doesn't matter that it bears no relationship to the real you - you've just got to behave in the way that gets results while you're working.

    It doesn't really matter what us customers think about you after we leave the club, after all, we're never going to see you outside of it are we?

    Good luck...

    Phil.

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