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Thread: "The Animal Diaries" LOL

  1. #1
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default "The Animal Diaries" LOL

    (from a friend's blog)


    Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:



    8:00am Dog food! My favorite thing!

    9:30am A car ride! My favorite thing!

    9:40am walk in the park! My favorite thing!

    10:30am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!

    12:00pm Lunch! My favorite thing!

    1:00pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!

    3:00pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!

    5:00pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!

    7:00pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!

    8:00pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! My favorite thing!

    11:00pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!


    Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

    Day 683 of my captivity: My captors continue to taunt me with
    bizarre dangling objects. They dine lavishly on fresh meat,
    while the other inmates and myself are fed hash or some sort of dry
    nuggets.
    Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I
    nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength. The
    only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.. In an attempt
    to disgust them, I once again vomit on the floor.

    Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their
    feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it
    clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made
    condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The
    audacity! There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices
    tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of
    the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I
    overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I
    must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

    Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my
    tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try
    this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

    I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and
    snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly
    released --and seems to be more than willing to return. He is
    obviously retarded! The bird has got to be an informant. I observe
    him communicating with the guards regularly. I am certain that he
    reports my every move. The captors have arranged protective custody
    for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe....... for now....

    Love it!

  2. #2
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: "The Animal Diaries" LOL



    Actually, the dog segment is right on target. Animal behaviorists have observed that dogs either really love or really hate something...there is no in-between.

  3. #3
    Veteran Member layka's Avatar
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    Default Re: "The Animal Diaries" LOL

    The cat diary is hilarious. I sent it to my mom. I have three cats, and I know for a fact that they think the dog has special priveliges. My cat Spook, meows at the door everytime I let the dog out, and always trys to dart out right behind her. But I'm quick as hell, he usually ends up running into the glass door.
    If you don't stand for something, you fall for ANYTHING.[SIGPIC][/SIGPIC]

  4. #4
    God/dess RoseWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: "The Animal Diaries" LOL

    Chrissy that is CLASSIC!!!
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

  5. #5
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: "The Animal Diaries" LOL

    i like to think i have a pretty good sense of humor, thanks rosewhite
    im glad people liked this.

    Love it!

  6. #6
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: "The Animal Diaries" LOL

    Hahaha so true, but my cat acts more like a dog lol.
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

  7. #7
    Banned gingerlee's Avatar
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    Default Re: "The Animal Diaries" LOL

    That is freakin' funny.

  8. #8
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: "The Animal Diaries" LOL

    I love it, that's totally my cat! She became an assassin when I moved her into a new house with stairs!

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
    "And do the cats give a shit? No, they do not. Why? Because they're cats."-from The Onion

    Quote Originally Posted by Mia M
    If a cupcake was tossed at me... well, I'd only be upset if it missed my mouth

  9. #9
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: "The Animal Diaries" LOL

    i love it!!!

    chrissy, you should write more!!! (espically blogs, which are the devil)

  10. #10
    Featured Member sunnie's Avatar
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    Default Re: "The Animal Diaries" LOL

    I loved this! Sent to my friends and parents, everyone got a kick out of it!

  11. #11
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: "The Animal Diaries" LOL

    hahaha that was great

  12. #12
    God/dess BalletBaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: "The Animal Diaries" LOL

    That is too cute! I'm going to be reminded of that everytime my puppy's nub wags like crazy.

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