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Thread: I hate people.

  1. #26
    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate people.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    There's an idea, although she doesn't really like talking about her early life; they were very poor and I know something about a previous husband who wasn't good to her. She worked really hard to support herself before marrying my grandfather. They're both comfortable now. I know very little about her life before my grandfather, and I don't think she much likes to discuss it.
    maybe you can approach it by relating it to your life. maybe she'll get a better understanding of you and you of her.

    i think i can see some of you in her already and i don't even know either of you! but i can already see some parallels right there. good luck!

  2. #27
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I hate people.

    Thanks... how do I bring it up? I've never really asked much before because I realized she didn't like talking about it. Seems kind of insensitive to call her up the day after she's diagnosed with cancer and go, "So tell me all about your past while you can." She's pretty depressed these days. Apparently the asshole doctor told her she's "no spring chicken" and she's been bummed about it.

  3. #28
    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate people.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Thanks... how do I bring it up?
    hmm, girl-talk? isn't there some kind of secret language you girls use? code words? wimmen language?


    just kidding.

    but i agree, it's poor taste to do it now like that but it's also not like something you should put off either imho.

    how about telling her about your life like you're confiding with her and then ask her opinion about it? e.g. if she's had similar experiences, which from your quick history seems like she actually does. she might be from a different era but she's seems like she's had a similar route, which is pretty unusual for that era ime.

    maybe thru sharing experiences like that she can open up. i'm not a therapist or anything so i'm feeling around in the dark. but conversations tend to come out if people are trying to honestly help each other.

  4. #29
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I hate people.

    Well, her solution to all my problems would be marriage, LOL! But I'll try to think of something. Thanks.

  5. #30
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    Default Re: I hate people.

    This hits VERY close to home. My boyfriend's great grandmother passed almost two years ago, and she wasn't even strolling to the hereafter before her DAUGHTER tried to get into the house to get her stuff to SELL IT. She tried, but the family was wise on her and they changed the locks. She still got a share, and attempted to sell it like we all saw coming.

    My grandmother passed a year ago, and I knew my family would snap her things up because they are selfish like that. I was supposed to get her spoons (she got those little spoons from vacations) and I wanted her recipes. I knew if I didn't get them, I've never see them again, so I got them, and they are now in a box untouched, because they are so old. I also got her locket. She was my second mother, and I got the things she help dearest by way of my grandfather. They tried to keep my mom from even seeing her mother before she died because of perceived differences. After my grandmother died, I never heard another word from my family.

  6. #31
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: I hate people.

    I'm so sorry about your grandmother's illness. I'm also sorry about your family's pettiness about the material things your grandmother will leave behind.

    I wonder if that is just part of the grieving process? We do it when a relationship ends in divorce (suddenly that recliner that you never paid attention to becomes a favorite object), and we do it when a loved one passes.

    I have told my parents to please die broke. If they aren't dead after they have spent all of their money, that I will take care of them. I watched the vultures swoop in when my grandfather passed. Some of the vultures were trying to drag me into the fight "You know, you have been listed in the will for $10,000.00 and some items from the house, don't you?"

    I was being enlisted to join vulture club A to fight vulture club B for the estate money. I looked Vulture A in the eye and said "You keep it. I don't want to pay the taxes on the money. Besides, I make that in a month so it isn't really that big of a deal to me."

    Vulture A got even more pissed, because if I gave up the fight Vulture B got even MORE of the estate as I refused to claim my part.


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  7. #32
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: I hate people.

    Good for you, Paris! It would've been hard for me to say no to $10,000 but I hope I would be able to stand by what's right. And I agree, I would be so happy if my grandparents and parents all died broke after having spent their money on travel and enjoying life.

    I don't know whether this is a good idea or not, but I've been thinking for awhile that I want a magnolia flower tattoo to celebrate my Southern womanhood, and maybe now is the time to get it. I told my other set of grandparents today that she is one of the last of the great steel magnolias, strong and tough but always appearing gentle and beautiful, and they said she wasn't the last, that she passed that down to me. She'd be horrified if I got a tattoo, so maybe I shouldn't, but I'm thinking about getting that tattoo in her memory.

    One generation dies as another one grows, and the tradition of the steel magnolia passes to another Southern woman. My grandmother has always embodied Southern womanhood to me. I'm gratified to think of following in her footsteps, even if the path is different.

    Should I get the tattoo in her memory? Just a small magnolia...

  8. #33
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    Default Re: I hate people.

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Should I get the tattoo in her memory? Just a small magnolia...
    I was thinking of getting a tattoo for my grandmother, something very small Perhaps like a chocolate chip cookie. She baked, and it was her cookies she was proud of. Though if I did, and she were here to find out about it, she'd bloody my nose.

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