Okay. I posted about a week ago about a weird shaving problem (ugly bumps/sores down in my bikini area), and I found out today, after the symptoms had not gone away and I visited my ob/gyn, that I have herpes.
The tests aren't back yet, but my doctor says that she's 95% positive that this is the case. I was upset and immediately sought to find out who I got it from/who could have it, etc to see if this really is the case, and if so, who I may have given it to . Well, I'm with a guy who I've been with for awhile, but recently we had a threesome with another girl who later told him that she has herpes (he didn't tell me this until today). Since these are the only two people who I've had vaginal contact with in the past 2 or 3 months, I'm pretty confident that I got it from her, or that she gave it to him and I got it from him (he and I get tested regularly; he's going to get tested again tomorrow; I've already told him about me). So yeah, it's very possible that my doctor is right and that I do have herpes.
Well, I'm feeling a huge mix of emotions, and I've cried a lot today, but what the hell can I do?! I already have researched a lot about it, and I read a lot of the threads about the virus here on SW, so there's no use dwelling on it. I'm going to start taking L-Lysine every day, and making sure that my immune system is in check, and taking all of the necessary precautions, and just getting on with my life. I'll be fine. Homeopathic remedies? Count me in. But I'm NOT going to dwell on this.
However, the thing I'm most worried about is transmitting it to other people. I always use condoms when I have intercourse, but the sores are on my labia, so I mean, can't it spread really easily? My boyfriend and I are in an open relationship, and he's a lot older and I'm a student with my whole life ahead of me, so I know he won't be my last sexual partner. Also, I love women/sex with women; does this mean they need to use tongue condoms? I don't consider myself to be sexually promiscuous (I'm safe, I don't just sleep around, I ask all of my partners about their sexual history...), but I'm definitely open-minded and adventurous, I'm not monogamous, and I feel like something like this is SO easy to transmit, especially if it can be given to another person by simple skin-on-skin contact!!
So what should I do? Just tell people beforehand? There's still a chance that they can contract it! I know that it's less likely to be transmitted during remission/when there's not an outbreak, but I'm still worried, because it's possible! And I work at a full-nude, high contact club! Is there any chance that I could give oral herpes to some idiot customer who gets too close (I don't ever allow this but there's been a few times when I've had to slap a customer's mouth away if I'm standing over him; you may say that it would be his fault in that case, but I still feel bad!!)? I have so many questions! On most websites, they tell you about how it can be transmitted, but they don't tell you how to handle the situation.
I can live with the fact that *I* have herpes. Shit happens, my life goes on, it could be worse, I'm so lucky in other aspects of my life. But I would be so sad to know that I'm the cause of somebody else contracting it. That's a burden I really don't want to have on my shoulders.
Any help/support is appreciated.



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. This is not generally advertised to the general public because of the fear that it would discourage condom use, which works very well for fluid born contagions (such as HIV), and is somewhat effective for skin-to-skin transfer.



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