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Thread: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    Apparently there was a Dr Phil show aired recently in Melbourne Australia where women (and men) who tricked their partners into having children were on.

    So my best friend phoned me and confessed that she was not on birth control when she got pregnant with her daughter even though she told her boyfriend (now husband) that she was.

    I always suspected this of her. She had only been with him for 6 weeks when she fell pregnant and she always maintained that she was taking the pill when it happened. I had my doubts.

    So she saw this Dr Phil episode and it prompted her to confess to her husband (and later to me) that she got pregnant on purpose.
    He married her and their daughter is now 2 and a half.

    I love her, I will always stand by her no matter what she does but even though I suspected it I am a bit disappointed in her.

    I realise that every man should protect himself by using a condom and not rely on what the woman tells him, so he is not faultless but to bring a child into this world in this way, I just feel isn't right.

    I dunno. What do the rest of you think?
    Do you think their marriage will last? She said she now will have to live in fear that he will leave her even though he reassured her he won't.

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    You realy want to know what I think? I think she should have just kept her mouth shut.

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    God/dess PookaShell's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    I don't know. I probably would have kept my mouth shut. However, a solid relationship, let alone a MARRIAGE shouldn't be something that budded from a pretty big lie. Whether or not they will last probably didn't depend on her confession, but moreso on what their actual relationship is. Whether or not she told him didn't change the fact that the motives for marriage might not have been a genuine devotion. If it so happened to become genuine devotion, then it might be able to stand this...I think it's probably best that she 'fess up now.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    ^^^^
    I agree with what u said Pooka about being budded from a huge lie.

    I was bridesmaid at their wedding. I felt sad on the day it seemed like such an obligatory affair rather than a love affair. He gave a speech and basically spoke of his love for his daughter but didn't really mention his wife.

  5. #5
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    Well if the marraige ends it doesnt nessesarilly have to be a bad thing. Getting divorced for a right reason is better than staying married for a wrong reason even if it does hurt at the time.
    I think despite everything it was brave of your friend to tell the truth like that.

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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    It was very brave or crazy...I'm just not sure. I guess for the long term health of the relationship it's good.

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    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    honestly, it was a awful thing for her to do in the first place, but once it happened she should have kept her big mouth shut!

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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    There's a million reasons for marriages to fail- can this add to it or cause it? It depends on how much resentment the guy has for the situation.

    I really, really don't understand and get infuriated at people do selfish, self-serving crap like this. Unfortunately, actions like this give women a bad name. UGH.

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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    Honestly I think what she did was disgusting and so, so wrong. It is good that she fessed up though. I agree with APS.
    Fools laugh at others. Wisdom laughs at itself...Osho

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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    Wow, I don't even know what to think!! That is TERRIBLE and just a weird thing to do.... Honestly, my step brother's girlfriend did this same thing. He does take care of my ADORABLE neice , but has nothing to do with the mom. In fact, get a load of this, the bitch moved to I believe Kentucky three years ago and now only sees her daughter two or three times a YEAR! (she confessed she did this, I am not just guessing)

    I can't imagine WHY someone would do such a thing...

    But, that said, since they had allready been married for like three years, I think it was selfish of her to tell him. All she acheived by doing so was to aleviate (sp?) her guilty conscience.... and make him feel like a fool. Honesty is not always the best policy...IMHO
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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    I agree VP that honesty is not always best and I don't like confessions brought on by guilt. I think she did it to relieve her own guilt not to benefit him in some way.

    I'm disappointed in her. I agree with one of the posts that it does give women a bad name when this type of thing goes on. She trapped him after being with him for only 6 weeks. I mean it doesn't even make sense to me I guess Im just going to be more picky when it comes to having a child and I want to make sure I choose a man who will be a good father and you cannot know that after only 6 weeks of dating someone.

    It was a bad decision on her part and a really wrong thing to do.

    If her marriage ends it's her own fault. I don't think they should have got married in the first place. He is argentinian and his family told him marry her or else the family will have nothing to do with him. It was out of obligation - not a very good reason IMO.

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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    I can't fathom tricking someone into thinking that it's safe to go bareback to get pregnant to "capture" someone. It's kind of psycho... I don't know what benefits will come from her telling people after waiting so long... There are going to be at least a few more issues in her marriage now... for him to throw in her face when they start arguing about something (especially if that something has to do with the child). On the other hand, she didn't make him marry her.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    If her marriage ends it's her own fault. I don't think they should have got married in the first place. He is argentinian and his family told him marry her or else the family will have nothing to do with him. It was out of obligation - not a very good reason IMO.
    That is so sad. The poor guy.
    Fools laugh at others. Wisdom laughs at itself...Osho

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    ^Oh, I didn't see that part... Did she know his family was like that?
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    Geezus Christ... Basically she said, "I purposefully ruined your entire life because of my own selfish needs for love and affection that I thought I could purchase with a family."


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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    Quote Originally Posted by lilithmorrigan View Post
    Geezus Christ... Basically she said, "I purposefully ruined your entire life because of my own selfish needs for love and affection that I thought I could purchase with a family."

    I'm going to get flamed for this, but if I where him I'd be upset that she FELT she had to lie.

    Responsibility is Responsibility, bred from lie or not.

    If I were him, I'd ask her if there is any other lie I should know about. Then I would look at the last couple of years, and if I was happy in those times, I would shrug it off. If I wasn't happy, I'd blame MYSELF for imprisoning myself to the bondage of an unhappy relationship.

    If I sleep with someone, I do it accepting full responsibility. That means, if she was on the pill, I used a condom, and she swallowed then douched herself with a sponge full of mouth wash, but wound up pregnant, I would be just as responsible as if she didn't use anything at all.

    I still chose to sleep with her. Regardless of HOW the outcome happened, it happened.

    He has a reason to mistrust her further actions, but not regret the last two years of his life. Her confession shows that she's at a minimum progressed as a human being regardless of why the confession was initiated.

    She did NOT fuck up his life. it was 50 50. And if he looks at his kid and regrets having it?

    Fuck, I feel bad for the kid.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Veteran Member T-10's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    I have a very hard time having any sort of respect for women who trick men into having a baby. It is a complete abuse of our God given ability to bring life into the world.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    Quote Originally Posted by T-10 View Post
    I have a very hard time having any sort of respect for women who trick men into having a baby. It is a complete abuse of our God given ability to bring life into the world.
    You know, that's your DICK man, it's a PART of you. It deserves QUALITY not QUANTITY. Part of the pre-screening process is knowing that the person your with wouldn't do this to you, and even if she did you'd still sleep with her. Accept ALL responsibility for your actions.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    I'm actually seeing your side of this Mast. Who the hell fucks a girl he's only known six weeks without a condom? I mean... pregnancy aside, STDs are SO fun!


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    Veteran Member T-10's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    You know, that's your DICK man, it's a PART of you. It deserves QUALITY not QUANTITY. Part of the pre-screening process is knowing that the person your with wouldn't do this to you, and even if she did you'd still sleep with her. Accept ALL responsibility for your actions.
    Huh? I don't have a dick, I am a woman. I don't disagree with your point though. I was just saying that I have a hard time having any respect for women who abuse the ability to give birth, especially in a manner such as described in this topic.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    Well I wasn't trying to challenge you in a negative fashion, though it came out that way.

    I'm just saying everyone, EVERYONE I've slept with, has passed (I know, not that they should be PROUD) a very extensive and COMPLETELY NATURAL almost subconscious test of quality. Hell in many cases, I'm more interested in the intellectual side than the sexual, but that's a different story.

    End result: I don't regret a single tryst. Ever.

    Self Control does wonders.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    Quote Originally Posted by T-10 View Post
    Huh? I don't have a dick, I am a woman. I don't disagree with your point though. I was just saying that I have a hard time having any respect for women who abuse the ability to give birth, especially in a manner such as described in this topic.
    I meant YOU as a general term, like speaking to a crowd of men... sorry didn't mean that direct. My bad! I feel the lack of respect needs to fall pn both parties.

    It's despicable for him to be "tricked" But it's deplorable for him to call it "being tricked" just because a kid happened.

    Cause we know he'd shrug it off or be a third as angry if no kid happened
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    I think Mast raises some really good points. He chose to sleep with her from the first day without protection. He didn't know her well enough to be able to believe her about being on the pill and as Lith said there are also STD's to be weary of.

    However, I think it was a terribly selfish act on her part. She did just want a child. She was pretty messed up at the time as her dad had just passed away from cancer. Maybe she just wasn't thinking straight.

    Even as a woman I do not believe in this day and age that a man who gets a woman pregnant should be obliged to marry her.
    He could have stood up to his family and told them where to go but he didn't he married her.
    I am not sure if she knew this about his family before hand but Im sure she had an idea because she was good friends with his brothers wife (thats how she met him).
    Both his two brothers have gotten girls pregnant outside of marriage and then married them. It's their culture I suppose.

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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    If she was willing to deceive and trick him, then it is clear that if it wasn't this, it would be something else. Thus, if she doesn't get herself a good therapist, then the relationship is doomed. Not because of this situation - but because of the mindset she has that allowed/prompted her to create this situation.
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    Default Re: Dr Phil prompted a confession from my best friend

    So are we all in agreement that she's crazy and he's stupid?

    I'm not sure if I agree with the blame being 50 50. I mean, I'm not saying stupidity isn't a crime in itself (I agree with lil, who has unprotected sex with someone within 6 weeks of knowing them?!), but she really did trick him. I'd say it's 75 25.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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