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Thread: Please help with Drug Denial

  1. #1
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    Default Please help with Drug Denial

    I posted months back about a family member on drugs. It is not getting any better. She is very close to me. There have been times i let her know i love her and will be ready for her when SHE is ready to get help. There have been other times where i have lost my temper and screamed at her ...wanting to know why she would rather spend time with junkies in her house than her own family. I have witnessed over 30 junky people since April, maybe even more. Along with seeing drugs, it's crack. There is tons of evidence pointing towards her abuse. My family all knows it too. They tell me i have to cut her off for now until she is ready. Although they are hurt too, they can not let it run their lives. I seem to be in denial. I do not know how to deal with it. I know i can not fix her myself. She is just so good at making me think i am overreacting and hurting her even more. Is this common? I am so lost all i do is cry after i leave her house so i can not go there anymore. I think i may go back one more time so i do not leave on bad terms. I will tell her once more i am sorry for my temper, i love her, and will be ready for her when she needs help. This damn denial stuff is killing me though...i always think i am over reacting...and i doubt myself,,,and that hurts me too. She is my heart, she raised me, i feel like at times that i am jsut over reacting. She could possibly not be in this situation. I know she dabbled before in a little coke/ and weed. Maybe it is the same? These are the questions i constantly ask myself, although all the evidence points to the contrary.



    Please give me advice and common experiances on denial. Also any experiances with crack if you have overcame it or had a loved one addicted to it. I can tell when she is different than usual. Sometimes she is real calm...real sick looking and sleeps all the time sometimes i am thinking when she dont have it. Other times a little more wirey. I am just soo sad. I get nervous she will die. I think she may abuse pain killers as well.

  2. #2
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: Please help with Drug Denial

    At this point, the most expident thing you can do is have her arrested (call the police & say you have a nuisance crack house to report.) She will get a choice between rehab & jail time. Usually people pick rehab, which is a starting point.

    Many people will take issue with what I just said, but it comes from experience...My brother is a hopeless addict, one of my exes too. They have chosen a slow way to die. If they're not hearing your pleas of love, they will hear the truth when they're stuck in the system & faced with losing everything, plus being locked up.
    I've lost friends by doing everything in my power to help them....but I'd rather have them alive & not talking to me than dead.
    Good luck. I'm sorry that this is happening.

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    Default Re: Please help with Drug Denial

    I agree with Madmaxine on this too. Love can't always be gentle and kind, its the "Tough Love" that can pull people through to change their ways. Whatever you do, do not give up on this person. Having them feel abandon and alone will only send them further ina downward spiral. They need you to be strong.

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    Featured Member flickad's Avatar
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    Default Re: Please help with Drug Denial

    I've never tried crack, nor do I know anyone who has (it's not much of a phenomenon in Australia), but it must be horrible to watch someone you care about destroy their life with something so toxic and addictive. All you can do is tell her how you feel and offer to be there for her any time she wants to stop. Unfortunately, though, you can't force her to stop if that's not what she wants to do.

    I don't think you're overreacting, by the way. Crack does ruin people's health. It also takes over everything and it does so more often than not, from what I hear.

    It may be that Madmaxine is right- in fact she probably is- but personally that's not a path I could take. I'm too much of a bleeding heart. I would be more inclined to ask the person to come see a drug counsellor a couple of times (guilting them into it if necessary with a 'just for my peace of mind, as a favour to me...please') and maybe presenting them with a fact sheet on the dangers of using cocaine and crack, particularly in terms of the potential for psychosis and brain damage.

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