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Thread: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

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    Default How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    It's an issue I'm currently dealing with the new guy in my life. At first he seemed ok with it. He knows that I have other aspirations in life and this is not something I want to do forever. It's a means to an end.

    But now, after months of talking, I can tell he hates it. It's not like I talk about what goes on at work, but he ain't stupid either. The thought of old horny men rubbing on my tits, understandably, freaks him out.

    It was the same issue with my ex, who I was with when I started dancing. Cool at first, but started acting a fool later.

    And so when I read stories on here and hear about other girls at work with bf's and husbands, I wonder how do your significant others deal with your job and where can I find more like them? LOL

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    Veteran Member Sinful333's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    My soon to be ex husband had no problem with it. He didnt question what I did or how I made such a low or high amount of money. To tell you the truth, it kinda bugged me that he didnt care AT ALL.

    My boyfriend doesnt care, but he brings up the fact lately that he doesnt know what I do when Im at work (I work in another state) and I could tell him one thing and do another and he wouldnt have a clue. (I think this is cute)

    Basically I think it depends on the guy. If the guy has trust issues from the past or with you, your job will not work. Because just like women letting their men go to see us and being jealous about strippers going home or doing whatever with customers our men think the same thing... IT DOES HAPPEN A LOT!!!

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    I agree with Sinful. It really helps you filter out the guys who are mature and sure of themselves... and who are open-minded. My last boyfriends could NOT handle it. Only one of them thought it was cool at first, the rest freaked the fuck out. The one who was cool at first changed his tune after only the first few months. It's really irritating.

    My new guy is cool with it. I don't think it's at the top of his list of dream jobs that I could have, per se. But, I think he appreciates that the job allows me to pay the bills and get my education (without going into debt) and it doesn't turn him into a wobbling jealous crybaby.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Banned rozz's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    I wonder how many times we're going to have the same thread. Hrmm.

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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    ^No different from the same rants about extras girls and dirty/weird customers.

    You didn't have to read the post.

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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by Slim_C View Post
    ^No different from the same rants about extras girls and dirty/weird customers.

    You didn't have to read the post.
    Wasn't being snarky, simply observing the themes that surface again and again in a dancer's life.

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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    ^ok.

    Both though have the mindset that dancing is not a real job. My thing is it makes money and I claim taxes on it, therefore it's a job.

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    Veteran Member Sinful333's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by Slim_C View Post
    ^ok.

    Both though have the mindset that dancing is not a real job. My thing is it makes money and I claim taxes on it, therefore it's a job.

    I am sorry to interject here but who said anything about dancing not being a real job?

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    Featured Member Sinder's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    Ask your bf this.....Sure I'll quit, but then are you willing to finacially support me
    %110?

    Obviously he won't, but it may show him how ridiculous he's being. My fiance isn't doing cartwheels over the fact that I dance, but he realizes it supporting our household while I am in school. Single income homes are a thing of the past. Ya do whatcha gotta do!

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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sinful333 View Post
    I am sorry to interject here but who said anything about dancing not being a real job?
    My ex and the guy I'm currently messing with.

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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    My boyfriend has always taken my job completely in stride. He's an incredible support and I feel really lucky. We're very close and have a lot of trust in each other, and this helps. He knows I'm pretty tough and am not going to get pushed into doing anything at work that I'm not comfortable doing.

    It takes a pretty solid relationship to withstand this job, but it certainly does weed out the men from the boys. If your boyfriend can't trust you with an unconventional job, how can the two of you make any kind of life together?

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    Veteran Member Sinful333's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by Slim_C View Post
    My ex and the guy I'm currently messing with.
    Oh... sorry I thought you meant in this thread. =)

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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    When they say it's not a real job, do they mean like... not a long term job or like... um, what? So when a guy in highschool works as a busboy over the summer, is THAT not a real job? Do you have to wear a business suit to work for it to be a real job? If you can't reason with your new guy, don't waste your time. Pay attention to the signs before you get hurt.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Veteran Member Sinful333's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    I know I have been guilty of saying I need to find a 'real' job. However, its kind of hard to explain to a man who really has his mind made up.

    Dancing is a very real and very demanding job. It takes a very special person to be able to do what we do every night. Although, since we are 'different' people in the club or do or say different things than we normally would in the 'real world' it can be taken very wrong.

    We all know this is our job and men who think it isnt never will. No matter what you say to them or how you try to explain it they just wont get it.

    They will always want you to get a 'real' job.

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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by Sinful333 View Post
    I know I have been guilty of saying I need to find a 'real' job. However, its kind of hard to explain to a man who really has his mind made up......
    .......We all know this is our job and men who think it isnt never will. No matter what you say to them or how you try to explain it they just wont get it.
    They will always want you to get a 'real' job.
    Adding to this....^^ for the men who just don't get it then they need to leave. They will never get it no matter how much you make or how clean you are or how safe you are...they will NEVER get it. Don't try to explain it over and over you will be wasting your breath. I mean the bf doesn't have to love it but they should support you and the decision to dance.

    I said this somewhere else but I had a boyfriend who said my job wasn't a 'real' job (I felt extremely disrespected as I am an adult and I can make quality decisions for myself) and I dumped him a short time later.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by Slim_C View Post
    ^ok.

    Both though have the mindset that dancing is not a real job. My thing is it makes money and I claim taxes on it, therefore it's a job.
    Any job that seems fun or has an artistic bent to it is not considered a "real job." I know professional musicians, painters, writers, DJs who have the same problem with people thinking the vocation is a hobby. Ditto with strippers. As if in order to be holding a real job , one must suffer through drudgery.

    WTFE. If you can earn a living doing what others do for fun, then more power to ya!

    To the OP: It takes a very secure and strong man to be romantically involved with a beautiful woman. The stripping thing just makes the issues come to the surface that much more quickly.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    Mine loved it so much he dumped me...

    Together 4 years... I started dancing 2 years after we started going out... 2 years into it he tells me he cant stand me doing it anymore and breaks up with me.

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    Veteran Member jessica_rabbit's Avatar
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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by TigersMilk View Post
    for the men who just don't get it then they need to leave. They will never get it no matter how much you make or how clean you are or how safe you are...they will NEVER get it. Don't try to explain it over and over you will be wasting your breath. I mean the bf doesn't have to love it but they should support you and the decision to dance.
    Absolutely! Either a guy can handle it or he can't. Mine is one of the few who can. I made it crystal clear in the beginning that this was something he's need to accept. I think too many girls waffle around on this issue in the beginning, trying to assure the guy that she won't be doing this "forever". IMO this gives the guy all the encouragement he needs to press the issue and try to get her to quit sooner.

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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    You know even though he knew what I did before we were even together it's still hard on the guy and I can't help but feel bad...
    ~Vanessa
    Angelina

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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post
    To the OP: It takes a very secure and strong man to be romantically involved with a beautiful woman. The stripping thing just makes the issues come to the surface that much more quickly.
    Hitting the nail on the head. My only LTR (when I was not dancing yet) was plagued by my ex's insecurity. I don't feel bad for him though, that was his issue.

    There are a few guys on here who are dancer SOs and they manage to survive having a hot dancing woman in their life...It's possible but you have to look for the diamond in the rough.

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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    I let him remain ignorant of a lot of the things that go on in my club. He was never a strip club kind of guy, so he doesn't assume there's much going on beyond the titty smack. He's visited my club briefly a couple of times, but that's it. I don't go into detail and he doesn't ask.

    Now, don't get me wrong. I'll talk about something funny that happened or some dressing room drama or something, but private dance stuff? No way.
    Check out my new eBay auctions.......

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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    Quote Originally Posted by Andygirl View Post
    I let him remain ignorant of a lot of the things that go on in my club. He was never a strip club kind of guy, so he doesn't assume there's much going on beyond the titty smack. He's visited my club briefly a couple of times, but that's it. I don't go into detail and he doesn't ask.

    Now, don't get me wrong. I'll talk about something funny that happened or some dressing room drama or something, but private dance stuff? No way.
    It's pretty much the same with me and the fiance. I bitch about assholes, crazy dancers, idiot managers, and the multitude of morons asking me for sex (a whole $50. Wooooow), but I do not discuss how I dance, the way I hustle, or the specifics of what I do with him. There's no point to hurting him. I'm faithful, I never do anything more than flirt and dance, so I see no point in burdening him with details.

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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    Here are a few lines I like - it helps to stroke a man's ego.

    "Baby, you have a Ferrari - everone wants to stare at it, everyone wants to see how fast it goes and look under the hood - but only YOU get to drive it."

    "All men in strip clubs are ugly, pathetic ass holes, and dancing makes me appreciate you so much more!"

    "I always just shut my eyes and pretend that the old looser is you to get me through my day."

    It also helped to let him get to know a fellow dancer's boyfriend, and they can do the "I understand, man" grunt together with a beer. Good luck!
    Sex for money? Never! For jewels, and furs, and revenge, like a lady! But not for money!

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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    It would be rare for a guy to be totally 100% comfortable with it. He would have to be very self-assured and u would have to have a very solid relationship built on mutual trust and good communication.

    My BF initially said yeah go for it, then he said he couldn't handle it and wanted me to quit, I talked it over with him and I got him to agree to give it a bit more time, currently he is OK (not comfortable, not angry) with it.

    He does NOT like me to talk about anything to do with customers at work. I can talk abotu the other girls etc but he doesn't really like any details abotu anything.

    I have to make sure I make him feel loved and appreciated esp after I have been at work to reassure him that it's him i love and care about and work is just work.

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    Default Re: How does your significant other deal with you being a stripper?

    My partner is my security (I'm a private party dancer)... he really thinks it's hot. I mean, he gets PAID to watch his girl get PAID to not be touched by guys and then fuck other chicks (in duo shows) while using toys on herself.

    You think -I- have it good... he has it better!


    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

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