For a whole lot of reasons (upcoming school tuition, huge bills, moving, etc) I'm working nearly constantly lately. It's only going to be worse when I get back into school. I'm scared shitless.
I'm having a hard time staying positive and psyching myself up to be the ball of sunshine you're expected to be. Put a messy break up that keeps dragging out on top of that, and I'm shot. I took off Sunday and Monday night, got a pedi, got my hair done, and relaxed, but the hours are creeping closer and closer to work tonight and I've got a knot in my stomach again.
I am having a hard time even being able to get into the groove without a few drinks, but I know drinking just slows me down and hurts my money overall.
I'm trying to get my bills under control so I can work more (moving to a 1 bedroom apartment, putting aside more cash, spending less on work clothes) but I'm still scared shitless.
I'm lonely and miss my ex, even though breaking up is a good change, so I'm pretty depressed and feel like 1. No one worth dating will date me and 2. Dating would be pointless anyways because stripping incites so much jealousy and consumes so much time.
I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to be stuck stripping forever and never finish school. This makes me less than enthusiastic about working. I look ahead to the next year or two, and know that all I'm going to have time for is stripping and schoolI'm having a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.



I'm having a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
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Huge bills to pay, going school, dancing full time and recovering from a break up !?... I don't know you but isn't that a lot of pressure on you ? My advice to you is don't go to school and dance at the same time I did that and...it's very hard and unecessary ! If I had to do it again I wouldn't do both at the same time...studying full time and dancing full time is into my opinion an unrealistic goal, I think you are setting yourself up for failure...( I had to drop out of so many classes ! Uh ! All my semesters were a mess ! I should have gone to school only part time...I got my degree but I was a walking disaster and don't even talk to me about going school EVER again !)
Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.
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