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Thread: Trying to stay positive while working constantly

  1. #1
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Trying to stay positive while working constantly

    For a whole lot of reasons (upcoming school tuition, huge bills, moving, etc) I'm working nearly constantly lately. It's only going to be worse when I get back into school. I'm scared shitless.

    I'm having a hard time staying positive and psyching myself up to be the ball of sunshine you're expected to be. Put a messy break up that keeps dragging out on top of that, and I'm shot. I took off Sunday and Monday night, got a pedi, got my hair done, and relaxed, but the hours are creeping closer and closer to work tonight and I've got a knot in my stomach again.

    I am having a hard time even being able to get into the groove without a few drinks, but I know drinking just slows me down and hurts my money overall.

    I'm trying to get my bills under control so I can work more (moving to a 1 bedroom apartment, putting aside more cash, spending less on work clothes) but I'm still scared shitless.

    I'm lonely and miss my ex, even though breaking up is a good change, so I'm pretty depressed and feel like 1. No one worth dating will date me and 2. Dating would be pointless anyways because stripping incites so much jealousy and consumes so much time.

    I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to be stuck stripping forever and never finish school. This makes me less than enthusiastic about working. I look ahead to the next year or two, and know that all I'm going to have time for is stripping and school I'm having a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.

  2. #2
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: Trying to stay positive while working constantly

    V.,

    From my point of view: You're a goddess by night; you're a student by day; you are a marvel. Embrace that!

    And you will accomplish all of your goals. (The dating thing will work itself out, I promise. You're young, hot and smart.)

    My only advice is this: Give yourself a break! Even a weekend trip somewhere will help you refuel and remind you that there's more to the world than the shimmery poll at night and the classroom during the day.

  3. #3
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Trying to stay positive while working constantly

    Focus a little more on smaller goals. It seems like you're overwhelmed.

    If you say, ok, this week I'm going to do ______.
    This month I'm going to do _____.

    then the yearly and even longer term things will fall into place.

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    God/dess velvet's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to stay positive while working constantly

    i'm working tonight but down the street from you. to bad, we could at least sit around and laugh.
    i know it's been harder around here lately so i'm sure that isnt helping. could you go out of town to work some? if i didnt work out of town i'd go crazy.

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    Featured Member 21stcenturyfox's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to stay positive while working constantly

    honey, this feeling will pass. youre just stressed out right now and everything is getting on top of you. but please just remember, you wont be stuck like this forever.

    life is made up of seasons, birth and death, day and night, everything changes, evolves, progresses, you will never be stuck doing just one thing or feeling one way because thats not how life works. just accept that whats going on now needs to happen.

    think of it like youre a snake who is shedding your skin and you will come out a new shiney snake underneath. im sure shedding skin cant be comfortable for snakes, so think of it like that, right now, youve got to go thru this stuff, so you can come out the other side

    hang in there
    "Sex is currency. What's the use of being beautiful if you can't profit from it?" - Lily St Cyr (40's burlesque dancer)

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    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to stay positive while working constantly

    Quote Originally Posted by velvet View Post
    if i didnt work out of town i'd go crazy.
    Yeah I'm in a bit of a rut myself, and actually looking forward to driving up to Daytona for a few days, believe it or not, lol!! I will talk to you sometime before then, maybe we can visit a bit.

    The other DJ has been a back a few weeks, and I am more rested, but the three months of working almost every night left me with a serious case of burnout. It's hard to overcome that, in this business. I wish DJs had the option to work in different clubs more often for a change of pace, it would do me some good.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

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    Featured Member sunnie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to stay positive while working constantly

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    I'm lonely and miss my ex, even though breaking up is a good change, so I'm pretty depressed and feel like 1. No one worth dating will date me and 2. Dating would be pointless anyways because stripping incites so much jealousy and consumes so much time.
    Being in school is kind of a double edged sword. You don't have enough time to really focus on anything. But the beauty of it is, you are juggling so many things that you can kind of lose yourself in one end of your life when the other is too stressful. Like, when you are sick of studying for finals, you can go to work and totally forget about school, and then you leave with money and feel accomplished. On the other hand, when work is too much, you can take a night or two off and concentrate on studying and kind of lose yourself in that.

    Speaking of which...

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    Featured Member Sunshine73's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to stay positive while working constantly

    Quote Originally Posted by 21stcenturyfox View Post
    honey, this feeling will pass. youre just stressed out right now and everything is getting on top of you. but please just remember, you wont be stuck like this forever.

    life is made up of seasons, birth and death, day and night, everything changes, evolves, progresses, you will never be stuck doing just one thing or feeling one way because thats not how life works. just accept that whats going on now needs to happen.

    think of it like youre a snake who is shedding your skin and you will come out a new shiney snake underneath. im sure shedding skin cant be comfortable for snakes, so think of it like that, right now, youve got to go thru this stuff, so you can come out the other side

    hang in there
    Yes. I love the way you explained this, 21st. Very well put.

    Viola, Two years is going to fly by. You're a busy girl. Just take it day by day, set small goals for yourself. Stressing out doesn't help anything. Might as well just say fuck it and have fun.
    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    Maria Callas said it best: "When my critics stop hissing, I shall know I'm slipping."

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    God/dess Lysondra's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to stay positive while working constantly



    Look like a woman
    Think like a man
    Act like a lady
    Work like a dog

    - My Great Grandmother Bessie's Recipe for Success

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    Member AussieMiranda's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to stay positive while working constantly

    I know exactly how you feel. I'm so stressed at the moment with everything and I also have a long dragged out break-up as well so reading your story was like reading something I wrote.

    I have been stressing so much about money lately to the point where it affects my work. No longer is stripping a bit of extra cash for me and a bit of fun, its my lifeline. I know own my own house which is great but I need to work to pay for it. Unfortunely I hate working and after 4.5 years I thik Im over it, but Im not over the money. It a double-edge sword. Add into the mix the fact I have been out of uni for a year and still dancing and cant get a job (or perhaps dont try hard enough for another job due to liking the money stripping) and Im a right mess.

    However I was in more of a mess only a few months ago after my ex split with me. The only advice I can give you to to set small goals for yourself and set out to achive those. It can be somthing as simple as 'I just want to make it through today without crying' or something as hard as 'I want to get all of my assignments done before the weekend and then I hope to make X amount at work'

    Hope this helps.

  11. #11
    Member Sayan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to stay positive while working constantly

    Hmmm ! Huge bills to pay, going school, dancing full time and recovering from a break up !?... I don't know you but isn't that a lot of pressure on you ? My advice to you is don't go to school and dance at the same time I did that and...it's very hard and unecessary ! If I had to do it again I wouldn't do both at the same time...studying full time and dancing full time is into my opinion an unrealistic goal, I think you are setting yourself up for failure...( I had to drop out of so many classes ! Uh ! All my semesters were a mess ! I should have gone to school only part time...I got my degree but I was a walking disaster and don't even talk to me about going school EVER again !)

    Take it easy, one step at the time, I saw you profile, you are young... Instead of going to school right now...just work, take care of all your bills first, because seriously that's an emergency, move and take the time and money to decorate your new apartment, make it nice so when you are home you are comforted and happy, brings down your stress level and it helps when you recently had a break up.Take the whole year to work and save enough money to put yourself through school and have a good weekly allowance next year...So you won't have to dance full time...you can just go part time ! So It'll be a lot less stressful an a LOT more realistic and you'll do very well in school..It' doesn't matter if you don't go to school this year and only next year...it won't make a difference in the long run, I saw`your profile, you are only in your mid twenties, you have time ! So chill girl chill...Give yourself a chance !

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    Default Re: Trying to stay positive while working constantly

    Quote Originally Posted by Sayan View Post
    My advice to you is don't go to school and dance at the same time
    Unfortunately that's not realistic for most girls who go to school and dance and it's not going to help her now anyway.


    All good advice above. A few other things - do something that makes you happy before going to work (get a pedicure, have a dinner with a good friend, get your makeup done at MAC), don't drink too much if at all, and make sure you get lots of sleep. Try to keep any drama or stressful things out of your life. Look at what you make weekly rather than nightly, it seems like more then.

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    Veteran Member miss cleo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Trying to stay positive while working constantly

    I know how u feel, i just finished 5 years of school during which time i danced weekend nights and studied during the week and omg it was soooooooo hard and depressing at times!!! What got me through it was breaking the routine whenever i got vacation time, just to get out of the rut, also i studied abroad during my 3rd year which was fun. Now i will be graduating in a month and it was worth it, but i am sooooooo glad its over lol!!
    xx

  14. #14
    PhillyDancer1982
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    Default Re: Trying to stay positive while working constantly

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    For a whole lot of reasons (upcoming school tuition, huge bills, moving, etc) I'm working nearly constantly lately. It's only going to be worse when I get back into school. I'm scared shitless.

    I'm having a hard time staying positive and psyching myself up to be the ball of sunshine you're expected to be. Put a messy break up that keeps dragging out on top of that, and I'm shot. I took off Sunday and Monday night, got a pedi, got my hair done, and relaxed, but the hours are creeping closer and closer to work tonight and I've got a knot in my stomach again.

    I am having a hard time even being able to get into the groove without a few drinks, but I know drinking just slows me down and hurts my money overall.

    I'm trying to get my bills under control so I can work more (moving to a 1 bedroom apartment, putting aside more cash, spending less on work clothes) but I'm still scared shitless.

    I'm lonely and miss my ex, even though breaking up is a good change, so I'm pretty depressed and feel like 1. No one worth dating will date me and 2. Dating would be pointless anyways because stripping incites so much jealousy and consumes so much time.

    I can't shake the feeling that I'm going to be stuck stripping forever and never finish school. This makes me less than enthusiastic about working. I look ahead to the next year or two, and know that all I'm going to have time for is stripping and school I'm having a hard time seeing the light at the end of the tunnel.
    Ugh I can definitely relate. Your situation sounds very similar to what I went through right around this time 2years ago. I had a lot of bills, plus I was trying to save money in time for my July breast augmentation surgery, which I reeeeaaaally wanted, since I'd hated my nonexistent breasts since age 10 plus to add insult to injury, I wasn't making as much money because of it. So that meant working double shifts every single day for a good month or so...by the time my July surgery date rolled around, I had the money but I was so burned out from dancing!

    As far as the dancing forever thing, I can relate to that too. During my 7day/week double shift work routine, the slow summer season and my burnout/stress/bill anxiety resulted in me seeming to work extra hard for less money. It made me wonder how good I was doing, to work so hard. It made me wonder if I'd ever be able to pay my college tuition at that rate. I'd owed my college a large sum of money for backtuition, and they weren't letting me finish school until I paid back what was owed...and I was already unhappy about postponing my graduation a year because of this, so I really didn't want to postpone it any longer. Oh, and did I mention that the reason I didn't want to postpone finishing college any longer, was because I was literally ONE class short of finishing? Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

    My advice? Bear with it, focus on your goals, money saved, and the brighter near future. But don't work too much to the point that you suffer from exhaustion or burnout, because that might harm you more than help you. Also, please realize that you are very beautiful and LOTS of guys would want to be with you! Think of all the customers that spend TONS on you! As far as guys not wanting to date you because you're a stripper, well you ARE looking to finish college, so that says something about your smarts, career goals, and work ethic, and that's good!

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