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Thread: Ugggggh, BF Thinks I Work Too Much

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    Default Ugggggh, BF Thinks I Work Too Much

    So my BF has a normal 9-5 job. I could go in the clubs during the day and make crap money, but nights are much better. Whenever I want to work nights, he keeps saying you work too much blah blah blah. If I stay home all I do is watch TV while he's on his comp. Wouldn't I rather be making money because I'll be taking two weeks off soon and I want to make sure it's non stressful. It just pisses me off. His job seems to be deciding factor in my work, and I can't work days, I'd never make anything worth while. It pisses me off even more that I've been the sole provider for 5 months (he's been employed for almost 2 months). I always had stress whether or not I was going to make bills and it was all on me. I feel the same way now as well, I can't just chance a mind set. Also from my childhood I was constantly under stress about money (I worked from the age 6) and I talked to him about it last night and he said "you can't always use your past as an excuse". Um when was I? I'm telling why I need to go in on nights and why I can't do days. This is all just making me so upset. He's the type to point out everyones mistakes or faults but none of his known, which he has about 100 to 1 to me. Ugh sorry for the rant but it's really been bugging me. I could just not work like he says and not have money for the weeks off, and teach him a lesson, but I'd only be stressing myself out.

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ugggggh, BF Thinks I Work Too Much

    Where the hell were you working at age six?!

    How many days/nights a week do you work? Just be like, "Yup, i love my job and I'm making money!" (Boo-ya, dude!) If you're not burning out, more power to you for working a lot! Go you!

    (Oh, and absolutely you need to build up some cash for when you're recovering from your surgery)
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: Ugggggh, BF Thinks I Work Too Much

    Digging up worms during the night. Yeah. That was bad. Wasn't my choice though. I'd always hear "The telephone bill is due, guess you have to work another 12 hour shift". Yeah it was fucked up. I don't know what he expects me to do, I feel depressed not working when I'm just sitting on the couch without doing anything. If he'd like to watch a movie with me, go out somewhere, I'm all for it, but him just playing on his comp and me sitting there thinking about work is stupid.

  4. #4
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: Ugggggh, BF Thinks I Work Too Much

    I have the opposite problem. My boyfriend bitches constantly that I dont work enough. When we moved out here, I made incredible money. I worked 8 hours a day, 5 days a week. We spent money like water. We saved nothing. We both were gredy and spoiled. But he pushed me to work more, work more, its never enough..it got to the point where I would get all reayd, leave the house, wait for him to go to work, and then come home, and lie about being at work just cause I needed a day off. He pushed me to hard, for to long...and it broke me. Now he's right, I dont work enough. I work 2-3 days a week, for no more than 6 hours, tops. He just broke me pushing to hard, and I can't seem to want to work anymore. This happened almost 4 years ago, and I never got my work ethic back.

    Every day he bitches if I dont work, and it makes me feel like even if I did work 5 days a week, it still wouldnt be good enough, because of hwo he psuhed me before. I told him all this, he realizes he made a mistake, and says he will never act liek that again, but I still have the fear that nothing will ever be good enough.
    I am in such a rut, and I dont know how to get out of it. I want to work, I want to make money, I realy do. But I just seem to have a different excuse every day to not go in.

    OK..sorry to jack your thread. It sounds to me like your boyfriend just wants to spend more time with you, being that he works days, you work nights. Do you guys take the same days off? Maybe you can deal with him that you can share the same days off to spend together. Or maybe take a week off for vacation. Maybe work 5 days one week, and only 4 the next?

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ugggggh, BF Thinks I Work Too Much

    1. Holy shit, that is insane!

    2. Then tell him to put up or shut up.

    3. I wish I had your drive!
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

  6. #6
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Ugggggh, BF Thinks I Work Too Much

    So, Tell him your club recently began making a schedule And tell him which days you're scheduled, and that you're bored staying home watching tv when you're off. Make a date to go out to eat to something for your next day off. and if he won't make plans with you, go out with someone who will. He needs to learn to value you a WHOLE lot more!!!

  7. #7
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: Ugggggh, BF Thinks I Work Too Much

    And kaylinn- if your boyfriend pushed you so hard that FOUR YEARS later it still stresses you, he's past his expiration date. Harse, but true.

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    Default Re: Ugggggh, BF Thinks I Work Too Much

    Quote Originally Posted by Lola Rose View Post
    So, Tell him your club recently began making a schedule And tell him which days you're scheduled, and that you're bored staying home watching tv when you're off. Make a date to go out to eat to something for your next day off. and if he won't make plans with you, go out with someone who will. He needs to learn to value you a WHOLE lot more!!!
    I know. It makes me almost cry when I think about those months when I was about to have a break down trying to make more and more money just to see him playing video games while I cried in the shower. Now that I'm making money for ME and not him he all of a sudden has a problem with it. Maybe he's just jealous now that he gets a pay check and mine is bigger.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: Ugggggh, BF Thinks I Work Too Much

    ^^^that's what it sounds like.

    I don't think he's taking your feelings into account here. it's all about his own selfish needs. You said you've always been a provider. Maybe you just attract needy people.

    He should be thrilled you're about to take two weeks off. He could accomodate you on your nights off.

    The other stuff you mentioned makes him sound pretty immature. This is the other issue about being a dancer that rarely comes up. When you make much more than he does (with the relative ease too!) and how he resents you for it. And the schedule issue, which has helped kill many of my relationships. It can only work if you spend time together on your nights off.

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