Same here girl, but I have to keep reminding myself that time slips so fast. And our parents really need a lot of love from us at this point in their lives, more than we need it from them - Because at this point in their lives, they are reflecting on the errors they have made and time that was lost and wasted, and trust me, they really truly hurt agonizingly over it.
This is the perfect time to try to "start fresh" with them. However, you are no longer the child - This time, the roles are reversed. While we should always respect them, they now look to us for direction, guidance and reassurance, as we once did as children.
Now it's their turn to receive it from us.
Girl, I am soooo positive that despite his cautionary negative statements which sound discouraging you, he is BRAGGING about you up and down the street to all his friends and co-workers. They probably are sick and tired of hearing about you and your achievements so far (You go girl!).
He just wants the best for his little Yekkie.
Perhaps you can mention to him that the things you do, you do so with the intention of making him proud and making a name for yourself and your family? That you got X + Y + Z from him, and that is what helps you achieve your successes?
It's also been my experience, being so jaded and private, that I have failed to say things like that ^.^ from my heart to my dad, because he wasn't like that with me.
The other day, my Dad called me. I picked up and he asked, "Are you okay?" Now, normally, I would not respond all mushy and sh*t, but I was being a smart-ass to him (like he always is to me; LoL) and said (jokingly), "So much better now that I am on the phone with you Dad..." (gush...)
I thought his response would be, "Yeah, right," which is why I am not mushy with him.
Instread, I think I heard his voice crackas he eagerly responded, "For real?!?! I am sooo glad to hear that!"
Mind you, my father has never been mushy with me, yet he seems to need this mushiness himself (weird, right?). That sh*t broke my heart becasue I realized that I had been waiting for him to be that way with me so I could be that way with him, and since he never was, I never was. But this has WASTED SO MUCH TIME / LIFE !!!!
This realization broke me inside, and I now resolve to be "sweeter" (Ugh!; LoL) to my Daddy - Because he is my Dad, the only one I have, and I want to enjoy him as much as possible.
As kids, we want our parents to make us happy, but a funny thing happens when we become adults - Their happiness is encumbant upon us. This is a stellar opportunity to display and demonstrate the lessons and values they have taught us. And I believe that this, brings them the most joy. To see us developed and successful as they remember themselves to be when they had us.
The seemingly toughest are the most vulnerable. This is def true of Dads.
P.S. Sorry so long; just thought it would help if I shared.
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as he eagerly responded, "For real?!?! I am sooo glad to hear that!"
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