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Thread: Bf/ question with stripping....not ur typical one though!

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    Default Bf/ question with stripping....not ur typical one though!

    Basically, my boyfriend has expressed his discomfort with my decision to go back to work. He did not know of this as soon as we started dating.
    It sounded like he had gave me an ultimatum. He said if it was short term he was ok...but he was not sure about the long term. I told him I could not put a time frame on my goals. I asked what HIS time frame for me was? He had no answer. I told him i do not see how it can work, he will start to resent me.(I said this in general, im not sure if maybe he took that as me making a choice to not be with him?"That was not what i meant)
    So after that, he said that he would be ok with it...and that the one thing he IS sure of is me. He said even if i wanted it as a career it would be ok.

    I still think this will start to get screwed up regardless of what he said.
    I am 22, I am about to graduate with a degree, but i want to dance still. I am not sure how long...i am doing an internship this summer and want to dance at night. Even when I get a dayjob, I would like to make dance money as long as possible to help fund my pursuits in Burlesque and travel. I would like to be a traveling dancer sometimes...i want to buy nice costumes when i am booked to perform burlesque....i also need to get my own apartment...car...ect ect. I wasted away my money the first time around dancing....i want to start over while i am still young enough.
    He is an understanding, great guy...does not have any controlling characteristics as far as i can tell after 10 months.
    Does this sound like it can still get sticky?
    He is VERY supportive of my burlesque, he loves burlesque...he is just uncomfortable with lapdances.
    I was thinking maybe for now i would do a club with just stage shows. Come May though....i want to make more money.
    This is hard because he did not necessarily give me an ultimatum after we talked...but i am insecure about the situation.
    There is lots of information on here about the boyfriend who makes his girlfriend choose...what about my situation...do you ladies think he will eventually make me choose? I really like him...but I need to get dancing out of my system. I told him we can talk more later when i am more ready. I still have some toning up to do.
    My plan was to go back for two weeks without telling him...to see how i feel...if i feel great about it then i will have to let him know i plan to GO
    Please give me advice.....especially the veterans on here.

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    Veteran Member logan820's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bf/ question with stripping....not ur typical one though!

    I don;t think that you should hide anything from him. There should be no secrets about what you do as far as work. You should dance if that is what you want to do. If he loves you than he will stay with you and support your decision. I know it is difficult b/c you love him, but if he is the one for you he will be there for you. If not then let him go.

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    Featured Member NatalieFRPhilly's Avatar
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    Default Re: Bf/ question with stripping....not ur typical one though!

    Eh, I'd say still dance. My boyfriend doesn't like my dancing, it's caused lots of problems. We both agreed on a certain time frame for me to quit (it wasn't his decision because I've been wanting to get out too.) But..he said if I couldn't quit just yet because of financial problems if any, that'd be ok he just doesn't want to hear my bitching. I think compromise goes both ways. If you set yourself a time frame like one year, you will know you better get your ass to work and make as much money as possible. With an undetermined time frame you might not be as motivated.

    Oh and keeping secrets is never good. It sets a bad tone for the relationship. Also wouldn't you be pissed if he kept a secret from you?

    Good luck with whatever you decide though, it's your life.

  4. #4
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Bf/ question with stripping....not ur typical one though!

    Most of the time as I have experienced it is just a bluff, Dance is you want to.

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    Default Re: Bf/ question with stripping....not ur typical one though!

    Thanks for getting back to me. I did not plan to keep the dancing a secret for good. I was nervous that I would tell him my final decision, go back to work, and then hate it (i am a bit nervous to go back.) I had planned to go back for a week or so before telling him and then letting him know my decision(without letting him know that i went back for a week already, that would be the lie.)

    Yea i really am gonna have to go ahead with my decision to dance because although he MAY Resent me later(who knows), i know i will resent it alot more if i can not pursue my goals.
    Corsica thats what i had thought. As soon as i said it would not work he quickly said he was ok with it. I did not mean the relationship, but he may have took it to be that way.
    Ofcourse i do not want it to be in a situation where he has to swallow his feelings in fear of losing me...but that works both ways. I can not swallow my desires in fear of losing him.

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