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Thread: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    I am a very polite person and I am struggling as to how to deal with this situation.

    Two saturdays ago I met a customer at the club and I danced for him several times during the night. He told me that he would return the following wednesday to visit me at the club.

    On wednesday when I turn up to work my manager tells me that there have been flowers delivered for me. It was a huge box of beautiful gerbers and roses - obviously very expensive and they had been delivered from the suburbs so it would have cost the guy at least about $50-$70.
    It had a note attached saying that he promised to come and visit me and he had the flu so he couldn't make it so he sent the flowers. He also enclosed his business card.

    I don't know what to do about this. I would like to thank him for the flowers and it is playing on my mind that I have not yet thanked him for such a sweet gesture but I am not really comfortable with ringing a customer and I don't want to give him the wrong impression - I am worried that if I did call him he would ask me out or think he had a chance OTC.

    What should I do?
    Should I maybe send a thank-you note to his work with some free passes to get into my club?

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    NO!
    do not send anything strip club related to his work! Are you mad? That would potentially lead to explanations to his colleagues, employees, employers, etc.

    Is there no email on the card? Send a thank you email, with no reference to your club or job (like a "I look forward to seeing you again").
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    ^^^
    But I was thinking of putting the passes inside a card addressed to him?

    My email is my personal email and I don't want him knowing my real name etc.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    I really, really wouldn't do that. It's up to you, but I think it is important to be respectful of the fact that other workplaces may have "opinions" on receiving that kind of material, he could potentially open it in front of people, etc; or he might open it and think (as I would) "Christ, other people could have SEEN this".

    As for your email being your personal email... well, hotmail and yahoo are mere clicks away, and these are very, very handy ways of keeping in contact with customers without being personal. I would choose something easy to remember "Jaizaine" or "jaizaineinmelbourne" or something, without an obvious sexual connotation (mine is "redhairedjenny") and you can just tell them your email, and a good percentage will remember.

    Up to you - as you obviously realize, but email is an accepted format and if he sends you email indicating that he is comfortable discussing the club (i.e. nobody else is reading it), then you have the "cue".
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    ^^^^
    actually getting a "work" email is a very good idea.

    do you think putting the name of my club in the email would be appropriate? are clubs generally ok with that?

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    I can't imagine the club would have a problem. I wouldn't though, because you might move, blah blah blah, and you want an "innocuous" sounding name - some guys don't want to receive email either at home or work from "jaizainenakedandsexy" or "sexystripperjaizaine". Keep in mind - some offices read the email. So keep it innocuous; "thank you for the flowers; they were lovely; I hope to see you soon" until he sets the tone of what he wants to receive. Try "jaizaine(orwhateveryourstagenameis)browneyes" or "browneyed (orwhateveryoureyecolouris)jaizaine".
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    ^^^^^
    So should I send an email or just wait and see if he comes in?
    I was a little sly of him I guess as you said Jay to try to initiate OTC contact.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    ^^^^
    thanks Jay

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    Veteran Member Smokeless's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    I agree with Jay and Jenny. Get an anonymous email. And email him at work.

    (Jeez, I've got 4 or 5 -- I can't keep them straight anymore!!) If you wish a Google mail invitation, PM me, but any of them will do. (I don't particularly like Yahoo, and they are using new techniques to follow folks' activity on the web, and you can't even delete an account once you open it, but, they are easy and handy. Google has its own advantages and disadvantages. And I don't do anything Microsoft, so I don't do Hotmail.)

    B.t.w., he's even taking a risk providing you his work email. He sounds smitten, and his smite seems to have taken hold of his good sense. So, take that into account when communicating with him.

    Nonetheless, if you are careful, he mostly sounds harmless until proven otherwise. It was a nice gesture to send the flowers, even if he was dumb exposing his personal and employment information.

    Good luck, and enjoy the flowers.

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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    A long time ago in a galaxy far far away I left a business card with a stripper. Dumb. Anyways, the stripper started calling. It was bad. Lucky for me my secretary intercepted the calls and did damage control. I learned a valuable lesson. Dont try and jump into a dancers personal life. Thats just wrong. If she wants you in her real life she will let you know clearly with no room for misinterpretation. But also, as a custy, dont leave yourself open to contact at your work or home that could put the screws to you. Equally problematic.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    How about.... wait until he comes back into the club? If he actually complains that you didn't contact him via the info on his business card (and I doubt he will), you can just say "Oh I didn't want to bug you while you were sick!"
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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    Is he married? Leaving an email might be a bad idea because if wifey has access to it, then I could see a whole world of more problems.

    I would wait til he comes back.

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    God/dess UtahMike's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    ^^^
    My email is my personal email and I don't want him knowing my real name etc.
    Go to hotmail.com and set up a different email account to use when you don't want to give out your personal or business email. You can have as many as you want, and they are free.

    If he gave out his email, it is HIS problem who reads any messages he receives. Be as cautious in what you say as you can be.

    Just don't get personally involved, certainly not so soon after meeting the guy, and don't give out any personally identifying information.

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    Senior Member WoodyLV's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    if he left a business card with you, that means he's hoping for you to contact him.

    i doubt wifey would have access to work email.. i agree get anonymous email. 'thanks that was sweet see you again soon' something vague so he wont get in trouble. he shouldnt give out business card but cant say i havent done it in a pinch but it wasnt smart either. thank god i have a personal desk line.

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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    Um, OK, this guy is an idiot. DO NOT send him an email at work. He may be too stupid to realize this but his employer could be shadowing his email. Most companies have a policy regarding unauthorized use of company email. All company email addresses and servers are the property of the company. I personally know two guys who got fired from very high paying jobs in the financial world and escorted out of the building they where working in for exchanging emails with strippers and reading TUSCL on their company computers.

    He's probably a nice guy and the flowers where a nice gesture. Be smarter than he was. Thank him the next time he comes in.
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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    It could be sweet, or it could be stalker-ish. I'm not quite sure. He obviously likes you. I personally would email him something generic but sweet, telling him thank you and leaving that at that. Don't semd anything to lead him on in case he is a freak, just say thank you.
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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    I would strive to keep it in the club.

    He sent you flowers in the club...Thank him in the club. Don't lead him to believe it changes things, Ya know?
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    Well I have let it lapse now. I didn't end up sending an email or anything and I have not seen him at the club again.

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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    Send the passes to his wife or employer. LOL
    AmyLynne

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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    This comes with the job. One of my regulars just sent me flowers to the club. Of course this guy I have been communicating with for several years.

    You can't always be afraid of customer communication via telephone. if you were to ever build a good regular relationship, phone contact is par for the course.

    If the guys begin to push too much for OTC interaction in lieu of coming in the club, you tell them no and so be it.

    I would call the guy and tell him thank you for the flowers, and ask him when will I see you at the club again, tonight or tomorrow. If he hints at OTC, tell him no, I don't see customers out of the club, and that I haven't known you that long.

    Either he sticks around or he doesn't. Ironically a little over 2 years ago a similar thing happened to me, and that is how I landed my wealthy regular.

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    God/dess KamrynAnne's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    im wondering if his card had his cell number as well??? whats the big deal about calling him on his personal phone.... its not like your calling his office...

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Etiquette - he had flowers delivered to the club

    I decided to throw the card out. If he comes back to the club I will thank him but it's outside of my personal boundaries to call him OTC.

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