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Thread: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

  1. #1
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    This is basically every second date I've been on since I started dancing...

    Dude: I really have a great time with you. You're an amazing person. I could really see this going somewhere.
    Me: Oh, that's so sweet. I agree.
    Dude: So you'd quit your job if we got serious?
    Me: Uh, no...
    Dude: Well, I can't date a stripper. You'd have to quit.
    Me: That's not going to happen. You knew I was a dancer when I met you. I wouldn't ask you to quit your job. It's my livelihood.
    Dude: That's different. I don't take my clothes off for money.
    Me: No, it's not different. You knew about my job from the get-go.
    Dude: Well, then when are you going to quit?
    Me: When I'm finished with school and have the job I want.
    Dude: Then I can't date you.
    Me: Then why the fuck did I take off a night of work to go on a date with you? I could have been at work making money.

    Fuck it, fuck it, fuck it. It's like a goddamned broken record. I could understand not wanting to date a stripper, so DON'T ASK ME OUT IF YOU ARE ONE OF THESE PEOPLE.

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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    Boo to men thinking they can change us or that stripping is some horrible thing.

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    God/dess BalletBaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    Look at the positive side: By the second date you're weeding out all the losers who are not worthy of your time! I hope you at least got a free meal since you took off work.

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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    There are those who don't care, and are still worthwhile guys. Or even those who aren't exactly thrilled about the dancing thing, but who are respectful enough that they won't say anything about it. Don't lose hope! It's just a lot of frogs before princes, etc

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    I guess I should consider myself lucky I get these questions on the first date. But unlike you, I consider myself a "career stripper," so I think it's even more of a challenge because I never intend to quit.

    Other variations of this question are:
    "how much longer do you think you'll dance?"
    "do you ever want a real job?"
    "It's not like you're doing extras. They aren't allowed to touch, right?"
    "Have you ever gone home with anyone you met at work?"

    I try to schedule dates early in the day (on a day I was going to take off anyway, but meet at an area with good shopping just in case.) And spend a lot of time on the phone/IM.

  6. #6
    242_fair
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    "It's not like you're doing extras. They aren't allowed to touch, right?"

    this is so fucking true, every goddammed man I know outside of work has asked me this shit.

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    God/dess cinammonkisses's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    Viola, look at the brightside babe: At least he asked you these immature questions EARLY on. Fuck it, and fuck em' girl...

    Like he said, you're a great girl and he could seriously see something gettting deeper w/ the two of you. Yea, well he'll be the one sitting at home alone thinking about "what could've been" while you're out making your money.

    Don't even let a man/woman dictate what you need to do to survive your life! Good job hun!







    Some Douchebag: "[Pimp C] 12:43 am: its true we got to stick together the black people on SW CK you is teh condoleeza of SW"


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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    Every person I know asks if they're allowed to touch.
    Again - it can hardly be shocking that guys might be of two minds dating a girl who lets guys touch her - even for money. But second date - goddam that is early to be setting out ultimatums.

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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    ah this thread reminds me of my situation. My boyfriend of 10 months is not too thrilled with my dancing but decided he was "ok" with it when i go back. Well i am going back in April.

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    Quote Originally Posted by sc0101 View Post
    Boo to men thinking they can change us or that stripping is some horrible thing.
    EXACTLY! Goddamnit, I am SO frustrated. It's like, I am NOT going to be doing this forever, this is a means to an end, NOT THE END, why the fuck are you giving me such a hard time about it?

  11. #11
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    Quote Originally Posted by BalletBaby View Post
    Look at the positive side: By the second date you're weeding out all the losers who are not worthy of your time! I hope you at least got a free meal since you took off work.
    Forget free meals! I think of all the first and second dates I took the night off of work for, and can't help but think...

    Mike, took Friday off, I'm down $500....
    Jeremy, took Monday off, I'm down at least $300...
    Marc, took off Wednesday, down $400... etc

    I know better now! No more dating! Just working!

  12. #12
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    Quote Originally Posted by mollyzmoon View Post
    There are those who don't care, and are still worthwhile guys. Or even those who aren't exactly thrilled about the dancing thing, but who are respectful enough that they won't say anything about it. Don't lose hope! It's just a lot of frogs before princes, etc
    I'm not going to be doing it forever, it just sucks that no one wants to deal with it in the meantime. I'm a great girl! I'm a really good girlfriend!

  13. #13
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    Not to toss a wrench into the discussion, but how would you feel about the guy who, far from objecting, is turned-on by your stripping job? Seems to me this would be preferable to hostility or bland disinterest. But maybe I'm not seeing it correctly. For instance, I'm always puzzled by people who fantasize about being reporters--imagining that journalism is a fun, sexy profession--when I know from years on the inside what it's really like: stressful, demanding and very rarely exciting or "sexy."

  14. #14
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    I guess I should consider myself lucky I get these questions on the first date. But unlike you, I consider myself a "career stripper," so I think it's even more of a challenge because I never intend to quit.

    Other variations of this question are:
    "how much longer do you think you'll dance?"
    "do you ever want a real job?"
    "It's not like you're doing extras. They aren't allowed to touch, right?"
    "Have you ever gone home with anyone you met at work?"

    I try to schedule dates early in the day (on a day I was going to take off anyway, but meet at an area with good shopping just in case.) And spend a lot of time on the phone/IM.
    I can't imagine explaining that I'm going to be dancing forever You have a totally different challenge. For some girls dancing is a means to an end, but for you IT IS the end, so that must be difficult. I hate guys that sit and tell me that I can achieve my goals without stripping - ugh - like I haven't thought of that before.

    I don't understand why guys are such freaks about touch. I let guys touch my big fake boobs for the right amount of money, who cares? It's not like I'm exchanging body fluids or enjoying it, for fuck's sake. Is stripping without touch THAT MUCH cleaner than stripping with touch? It's like guys get pissed that someone else is playing with their toy.

  15. #15
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    Quote Originally Posted by cinammonkisses View Post
    Viola, look at the brightside babe: At least he asked you these immature questions EARLY on. Fuck it, and fuck em' girl...

    Like he said, you're a great girl and he could seriously see something gettting deeper w/ the two of you. Yea, well he'll be the one sitting at home alone thinking about "what could've been" while you're out making your money.

    Don't even let a man/woman dictate what you need to do to survive your life! Good job hun!
    Thanks babydoll. Ugh, I'm seriously ready to throw in the towel. Nobody is worth losing $200-$500+ to go out on a date with. As I see it, since I missed work, I paid to go out with them! FUCK THIS. I AM JUST TRYING TO LIVE.

  16. #16
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Every person I know asks if they're allowed to touch.
    Again - it can hardly be shocking that guys might be of two minds dating a girl who lets guys touch her - even for money. But second date - goddam that is early to be setting out ultimatums.
    I'd rather have it be a second date than almost a year in, as in the case with this ex-boyfriend...

  17. #17
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    Quote Originally Posted by Silky View Post
    ah this thread reminds me of my situation. My boyfriend of 10 months is not too thrilled with my dancing but decided he was "ok" with it when i go back. Well i am going back in April.
    Fuck these guys, seriously.

  18. #18
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicagoeditor View Post
    Not to toss a wrench into the discussion, but how would you feel about the guy who, far from objecting, is turned-on by your stripping job? Seems to me this would be preferable to hostility or bland disinterest. But maybe I'm not seeing it correctly. For instance, I'm always puzzled by people who fantasize about being reporters--imagining that journalism is a fun, sexy profession--when I know from years on the inside what it's really like: stressful, demanding and very rarely exciting or "sexy."
    I don't think I'd want to date a guy who thought stripping was cool, mainly because I'd feel like he was dating me because I am a stripper, not because of the person I am. I DO want someone who is possessive and jealous to a healthy degree. I can't imagine any nice guy who would be in love with me and be ok with men touching me, hence, why I need to stop dating for now.

    There's always my booty call guy.

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    God/dess Emily's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Every person I know asks if they're allowed to touch.
    Again - it can hardly be shocking that guys might be of two minds dating a girl who lets guys touch her - even for money. But second date - goddam that is early to be setting out ultimatums.
    It's one thing if they ask out of curiosity, but it's another if they are trying to unwhorify you in their mind. That's why I prefaced the question with the dumbass extras comment. As if asking a woman if she does prostitution on the side is ever an acceptable thing to say. It just illustrates they have no idea what the business is like and they choose to draw their own conclusions.

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    I can't imagine explaining that I'm going to be dancing forever You have a totally different challenge. For some girls dancing is a means to an end, but for you IT IS the end, so that must be difficult. I hate guys that sit and tell me that I can achieve my goals without stripping - ugh - like I haven't thought of that before.
    By career stripper, I mean I plan to dance until I'm 40 and live off my investments. They hardly ever ask me about that though. They would much rather me have some desk job I hate until I'm 60.

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    I DO want someone who is possessive and jealous to a healthy degree. I can't imagine any nice guy who would be in love with me and be ok with men touching me, hence, why I need to stop dating for now.

    The perfect guy, imo, doesn't want to hear about stripping, only because it pisses him off that guys are disrespecting you. He doesn't hate it, but he's protective over you. It's general concern for your well-being. It's not the touching, the lack of career ambition (for me), that it embarrasses him to tell his friends, etc.

  20. #20
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    I DO want someone who is possessive and jealous to a healthy degree. I can't imagine any nice guy who would be in love with me and be ok with men touching me.
    So on the one hand you want him not to be upset that you dance, on the other you want him upset that you dance. Typical.

  21. #21
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    It's one thing if they ask out of curiosity, but it's another if they are trying to unwhorify you in their mind. That's why I prefaced the question with the dumbass extras comment. As if asking a woman if she does prostitution on the side is ever an acceptable thing to say. It just illustrates they have no idea what the business is like and they choose to draw their own conclusions.
    Ugh, I am always so baffled by how CLUELESS non-strippers (men and women alike) are about the nature of our work. They ask these black and white questions, like all strippers and all strip clubs everywhere are the same. I'm not even the same as I was in my early career, my personal rules and boundaries have changed over time, some are stricter and some are less strict. It's all fluid. The fact is I take my clothes off and enchant strangers for money. I sell a fantasy. I sell my attention and some parts of my body. I don't have sex for money. I don't work at a church or a brothel. Ugh.

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    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicagoeditor View Post
    So on the one hand you want him not to be upset that you dance, on the other you want him upset that you dance. Typical.
    I know, I know, I ask the impossible. I want a man who knows I'm not in this forever and someday I will quit, but loves me enough in the meantime to put up with it. I need to finish school to get the job I want. I need the job I want to be a good co-provider for me and my future family. But DAMNIT I want a husband and a family SO BADLY.

  23. #23
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    Quote Originally Posted by Emily View Post
    By career stripper, I mean I plan to dance until I'm 40 and live off my investments. They hardly ever ask me about that though. They would much rather me have some desk job I hate until I'm 60.

    The perfect guy, imo, doesn't want to hear about stripping, only because it pisses him off that guys are disrespecting you. He doesn't hate it, but he's protective over you. It's general concern for your well-being. It's not the touching, the lack of career ambition (for me), that it embarrasses him to tell his friends, etc.
    I agree about the perfect guy, my last boyfriend was like that. He didn't see what I was doing as whorish or wrong, he saw I was using this job to get where I wanted in life and respected it. Guys either want to save you from it or think it's the coolest thing ever to date a stripper. Dumbasses.

  24. #24
    Chicagoeditor
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    Quote Originally Posted by ViolaStrings View Post
    But DAMNIT I want a husband and a family SO BADLY.
    You should chat with those of us who've been there, done that. All kidding aside, a great marriage/love is an amazing thing, and reaffirms one's faith in humanity. Keep testing the waters, V., you'll meet a guy who'll meet most of your requirements and who can be trained to meet the rest.

  25. #25
    God/dess ViolaStrings's Avatar
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    Default Re: I Will Never Take Off Work For A Date Again

    Quote Originally Posted by Chicagoeditor View Post
    You should chat with those of us who've been there, done that. All kidding aside, a great marriage/love is an amazing thing, and reaffirms one's faith in humanity. Keep testing the waters, V., you'll meet a guy who'll meet most of your requirements and who can be trained to meet the rest.
    I'm aware marriage/kids are a big burden and aren't always fun (my last boyfriend was married and has 2 kids and is miserable!), but it's my deepest desire in my heart of hearts, just to finish school, have a fun job where I make good money, have a husband I love, and have a few kids. I'd be the happiest person EVER. But I have to finish school! I can't without stripping! I'm so fucking frustrated. I AM WORTHY OF LOVE IN THE MEANTIME.

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