I probably shouldn’t do this, but I’m going to anyway.
It’s come to my attention that some things are maybe, possibly, being said behind the scenes that I would like to address. Understand that I don’t know who said what to whom, exactly. But even without knowing any specific details, I’ve decided to do this. Make of it what you will.
I don’t post much about my relationship with TOO, for a couple of reasons. First, I’m just not very comfortable posting details about my current personal life. I was never all that keen on making our relationship public knowledge in the first place, partly because I feared it would cause unnecessary drama. And so it has.
Second, I notice that, with most established couples in which both parties post here, each person kind of does his or her own thing, and they don’t interact all that much on the board— because they interact enough in RL. So, that seems to be the proper etiquette, and I’m comfortable with that.
Now, I have no idea why anyone would give a shit who I see or why, but apparently it has been discussed. So, here goes:
TOO caught my eye when he said he consulted on dictionaries. (I’m weird, okay? One time the Wu-Tang Clan was in my club, but I ignored them because I was starstuck by some guy who said he’d written reviews for the New York Times Sunday Book Review.) Anyway, I PM’ed. He wrote back. We were impressed with each other.
Like me, he’s a language geek and a science geek—an unusual combination. Also like me, he’s got a borderline-unhealthy obsession with strippers & stripclubs. It doesn’t freak him out that I used to be a dancer—quite the contrary. I can tell him pretty much anything about my checkered past and he’s more intrigued than horrified. I like that in a guy.
We both spend a lot of time in geeky intellectual circles, but we’ve both experienced the uglier, raunchier side of life in ways that make us feel out of place among those staid ivory-tower folks.
We are both sort of pathologically generous, prone to committing acts of genuine altruism. I have no doubt that I understand this trait of his far better than most people would.
For reasons that are far too personal to go into in public, we have phenomenal sexual chemistry. (This is not to mention his truly impressive technical skill, and the fact that…you know how sometimes you find someone who just fits you perfectly, in a purely physical sense, and gets you off like nobody else?) By far the best sex I’ve ever had. If that’s TMI, I apologize.
He seems to “get” me in a way that very few people do. I am kind of unusual and weird. So is he. We’re a pretty good match. It’s a long-distance thing, and we both have busy lives, so we don’t see each other as often as we’d like. But when we do, we have waaaaaaaayyyyyyy more fun than should ever be legal. And that’s a profound understatement.
I know he puts people off sometimes. There have been rumors, I’m sure, that he doesn’t exist or isn’t who he claims to be. He’s over-the-top, overly effusive in his posts. People who’ve met him, though, know that he isn’t full of shit. Sure, he occasionally embellishes, taking small liberties with the truth for the sake of a good story. He exaggerates (especially when it comes to my hotness, which I’ve asked him not to do. Repeatedly, and I do wish he’d listen. I’m uncomfortable enough with deserved praise!) But I really don’t think he’s being disingenuous when he does this. I think he sees the world in Technicolor sometimes, and when I think he’s exaggerating, he’s really just reporting his honest perception.
And then there’s the way he talks about money. I understand why this rubs people the wrong way sometimes. But you know…There’s the person who was born with a silver spoon in his mouth, who has so much money that he doesn’t know what to do with it, and believes he can buy people like they were just another luxury item. Then there’s the person who starts out with very little, does well for himself, and is exceptionally generous because he remembers what it’s like to be broke and scared. Those of you who have had personal dealings with TOO will know which of these describes him.
Okay, so this is the only time I’ll do this. I don’t go in for extravagant professions of love; it’s just not my style. Understatement is more my thing. Besides, I believe that in relationships, what you say isn’t worth much—the only thing that really matters is what you do.
So, for the record: If anyone thinks that what goes on between me and him is “all about the money,” they’re dead wrong.
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I'm really just using him for the sex.![]()
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Hope you guys have much happiness.
) trip report on the blue side...

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