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Thread: a rant about a stalker/harassing guy

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    Exclamation a rant about a stalker/harassing guy

    <<my edit: I mis-used the word "stalker" when I originally wrote up this post...I mention this in a reply...I was so huffed up about this that I used the word too freely. Just calling him a "harasser" would have been more appropriate at this point>>

    I would never think that this would happen to me. It finally has.
    I went on a date with an asian dude (I usually go for white guys, but this one sounded interesting, nice,educated, good looking,trendy in some ways, caring, etc...that's what it said in his profile). We had drinks at a nice lounge. I have good vibes about everything, for the most part...he's very intelligent, in my age range, etc... So I email him saying I had a great time, etc, love to see him again. I don't hear from him for 2 weeks.

    Then I get a call today from him...I accidentally disconnect when answering the phone, call him back. He says he's in a cab, going to a dinner (but it's after 10PM...sorta doesn't make sense). I'm thinking why is he calling me if he can't talk? To leave a message? He asks if he can call me tommorrow, I say yeah. After that i'm thinking, wait, he hasn't replied for a couple of weeks, then he calls me out of the blue?
    Then he calls me in a couple of hours, after 12 midnight...I know because it's his number, and all I hear is in the background weird silly noises and "loony." I think what this is he is prank calling me. Perhaps he is drunk-calling, after fooling around with guys at night (it is St. Patrick's day).Can you believe a 32 year old guy prank calling me? Prank calling a girl who did nothing to deserve it? I can see prank calling a guy...but a female...that's crossing the line. It almost feels predatory. Then, half an hour later, I get 2 calls in a row from a "restricted" number. I don't pick up. It's probably him, after using caller id on his cell phone.
    I'm not having anything to do with this guy anymore. Clearly he's playing games, and thinks it's funny. What's shocking to me is that he seemed like a really decent guy, very successful, very intelligent, made himself sound like the "ideal" guy in many ways. But then he turns around and does this to me. Really for no good reason.
    I've never had a stalker-ish relationship, or a harrassment kind of thing happen to me like that. I would think that in general I do a good job of screening out idiots who might be dangerous or what not. However this guy seems to have been a wolf in sheep's clothing, in very-well-designed, seems-like-real-wool sheep's clothing! It really is making me wonder about outside appearances...and how I really can't trust anyone...no matter how much it seems like they're "A-ok." Girls keep a head out for people who really are deceptive or who are playing an elaborate game. A human's potential to be sadistic and nasty...I guess it's limitless...there's no roof to it. And it's sick. Wasn't there some psychological study on that...I forgot who authored that.
    I'm feeling hurt. I'm feeling offended. I'm feeling harassed. I'm feeling shooken up. How could someone do something like that? And i'm feeling worried...we met through online dating, and I exchanged my pictures (they were just basic head shots...definitely nothing explicit! i would never do that for dating) to him. It's just sooo sick. Am I just learning an important lesson here?
    Is it because maybe deep-down some asians hate whites? Could that be some of it? Or could it also be that he's trying to play a power trip game? Just being a jerk? It just seemed like he's someone who'd never do such a thing. I guess i'm wrong.
    I know I will not answer any more of his calls if he tries calling again.
    I hope that karma will play its role and really fuck him over in life.
    Have any of you known people who seemed "kosher" yet really were demons?
    Any "advice?"
    This is making me really scared in many ways of doing this online dating stuff ever again. It has really turned me off. I thought that writing about this is better than just trying to shake it off...maybe some of you can help unearth some lessons for me to learn? I don't know... It's just gross...for some reason it makes me think of cases where seemingly normal, educated,good-looking middle-class men murder their wives... It's sooo sickening.
    Thank you soo much for listening, and especially thanks if you reply
    Last edited by da; 03-18-2007 at 11:07 PM. Reason: realized I mis-used the word "stalker"

  2. #2
    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: a rant about a stalker/harassing guy

    pretty lousy prank but i was thinking maybe he has a significant other that has his cell phone and your number now? one night's random calls don't make for a stalker. but harassment? yeah. but it could be it's not him.

    not that he sounds consistent either (two weeks of nothing in-between) but he's says he'll call you tomorrow and then calls right afterwards? more likely his wife/gf found your number on his cell imo.

    btw, i've got no experience with this stuff. i'm just picking it apart and trying to rationalize it. he could be a nutzo but you seemed pretty sure of you gauge of him and was surprised by this turn of events so i'm kinda giving him the benefit of the doubt.

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    Featured Member WiseGuy_TX's Avatar
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    Default Re: a rant about a stalker/harassing guy

    ....da, just as you are imagining he is the devils child over a phone ring, He may think you are a game playing stuck up child for hanging up on him. Oh wait, your's was an accident, OK, well maybe his "late" dialing was an accident too.

    I think the better test is what he says when he calls the next day or if he does'nt call at all.
    "Peter, did you take Stewie to a strip-club? He smells like sweat and fear." - Lois and Stewie (Family Guy) ... "Through early morning fog I see, Visions of the things to be, The pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see..."

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    Veteran Member TheLioness's Avatar
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    Default Re: a rant about a stalker/harassing guy

    Not trying to defend the guy here, if you're scared you're scared. But perhaps you were the last person that called him that night. If you hit send twice on a cell phone it calls the last number that was connected. I've had it happen to me a few times if I've had my phone in my back pocket or in my purse and something pushes the send button. People that I know have called me by accident before too. Sometimes there's nothing but the sound of them driving down the road, other times they'll be singing in the car (hehe). Also, the restricted number that called you may not have been him. But if he did try to call, sometimes when a cell phone is roaming, it's number will not show up to the person they're calling.

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    Featured Member snoopy's Avatar
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    Default Re: a rant about a stalker/harassing guy

    Quote Originally Posted by TheLioness View Post
    If you hit send twice on a cell phone it calls the last number that was connected. I've had it happen to me a few times if I've had my phone in my back pocket or in my purse and something pushes the send button. People that I know have called me by accident before too. Sometimes there's nothing but the sound of them driving down the road, other times they'll be singing in the car (hehe).
    reminds me of a funny story involving my father and mother (they're separated for a while but still civil, somewhat). so he calls my mom from overseas testing out his new bluetooth microphone/headset-thingy and then saying good-bye, hangs up.

    well, my genius of a dad thinks he hung up and starts chattering guy-talk with his business associates.

    all the while my mom is listening.

    for two hours!

    busted!

    she doesn't bother trying to interrupt him but sets the phone down and quietly listens. hell, i think she took notes.

    my mom doesn't tell me the details of the infamous "conversation" but having traveled with my dad and knowing some of his associates (bunch of old-school biz guys that have "little wives" in china of their own), i gotta think it wasn't pretty from her point of view.

    next time i saw my dad he was definitely sheepish about the whole thing. (she completely ass-reamed him on it! LOL) and frankly, considering they've been separated for almost 20-years and he has a live-in gf with a 9-yr son! (my half-brother, i'm 36 my dad's 72. woofah. ) i gotta think he unleashed some heavy heavy shit in that overheard conversation for him to act that way.

    but your comment just reminded me of that story and i had to share.

  6. #6
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: a rant about a stalker/harassing guy

    Maybe it was just a bad case of ass-dialing.

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    Veteran Member TheLioness's Avatar
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    Default Re: a rant about a stalker/harassing guy

    ^^^ lol, before I left my ex I was always afraid that would happen to me...you know, girls night out, I'm bitching about the relationship, check the phone & hit end to make damn sure it's disconnected, keep bitching, check phone again lol. So glad I don't have to worry about that anymore.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: a rant about a stalker/harassing guy

    Quote Originally Posted by WiseGuy_TX View Post
    ....da, just as you are imagining he is the devils child over a phone ring, He may think you are a game playing stuck up child for hanging up on him. Oh wait, your's was an accident, OK, well maybe his "late" dialing was an accident too.

    I think the better test is what he says when he calls the next day or if he does'nt call at all.

    I agree!

    I think the OP is way overanalyzing the situation.

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    Default Re: a rant about a stalker/harassing guy

    Yep yep^^^ I wouldn't put him in the scary stalker catagory, unless there is omething happening that you forgot to wrtie about.

    Otherwise I would say the guy goofed and dialed you while drunk. Not exactly a flattering moment worth highliting...but it happens.




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    Veteran Member Santos's Avatar
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    Default Re: a rant about a stalker/harassing guy

    I'm feeling hurt. I'm feeling offended. I'm feeling harassed. I'm feeling shooken up.
    I think you should take a step back and get some perspective on this. From what you've described, this incident hasn't reached the scary stalker level just yet.
    Last edited by Santos; 03-19-2007 at 12:12 AM.

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    Default Re: a rant about a stalker/harassing guy

    i know, i know...microanalyzation


    he didn't call "the next day."

    True...it hasn't reached a big level...but still...what's shocking, to me, maybe not to others, was that he seemed soo nice, sweet, well-educated, etc etc etc yet then he does this prank that is very rude. And he's 34! If he were 20, I might...miiiight have been less offended by it, saying he's just an immature jerk. , totally inappropriate given that he was making himself seem like a classy guy, but this is what ends up doing. It's just plain wrong. it was totally unexpected

    I think I shouldn't have used the word "stalker" in the title...Now that I see I wrote that, if I could've rewritten the subject line, I wouldn't said "a rant about a harassing guy." Sorry about that. I think I was too worked up about the whole ordeal that I ended up using some words sloppily, inappropriately

    No, there was no phone accidental pick-up on my part...When he called a couple hours later, the phone was on my desk, I saw his number...and that's when I heard the silly noises.

    Maybe he was angry that I didn't answer like a naive girl saying "oooh, it's sooo good to hear from you, where have you been? I haven't heard from you in two weeks..Was your email not working? Did you have an accident somewhere? I thought you were dead, jee gollyz...anyways, I want to say I really like you and would like to meet you some time again....blabh blah blah." Instead when I answered my voice showed how I wasn't happy and thrilled to have him call, I wasn't friendly on the phone at all <<He didn't deserve any friendliness that prick>>... So he maybe realized i'm not up for a booty call...so that's probably why he pranked further...or maybe he was just drunk or high on coke the entire evening. who knows.

    Lesson for me: Be veeerrry selective when it comes to answering the phone. Use vibrator more often (heeeheee i'm thinking of getting a quiet waterproof one to use post-workouts at the gym in the shower! what a nice incentive to keep me excited to going to the gym!), fuck more often with someone I like, do all that good stuff to keep my often-horny, hungry-for-affection-and-loving self from answering calls from guys I know are really idiots and don't deserve my time of day. Or I should hook myself up to a self-respect-o-meter so when it gets too low, I boost it up by various means, and thus don't end up giving in to things or having to do with anything that isn't good for me...hehee keeps me from playing in the trash pile ramble ramble

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    Default Re: a rant about a stalker/harassing guy

    Quote Originally Posted by WiseGuy_TX View Post
    ....da, just as you are imagining he is the devils child over a phone ring, He may think you are a game playing stuck up child for hanging up on him. Oh wait, your's was an accident, OK, well maybe his "late" dialing was an accident too.

    I think the better test is what he says when he calls the next day or if he does'nt call at all.
    I had to say something about this one. I know, i'm getting very nitty-gritty over details, but i'm actually finding it entertaining. You don't have to read this if you don't want to. to Wiseguy, Commmme awwwwn, you're sounding like a defense lawyer giving lame excuses or possibilities to help make someone sound innocent. Buuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuullsheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeeit!
    Oh, and it was more than a phone ring.
    If someone doesn't reply to an e-mail I sent them saying how much I enjoyed the date and would like to see them again, for two weeks, and then tries to call...obviously he's either doing a lame bootycall he doesn't deserve, or is just playing games. The person who should be called stuck up is he...who didn't reply to my e-mail at all.
    Stop the attempts at providing pathetic loop holes for him. They are very weak & lame-o. I'm all for playing the devil's advocate once in a while, but the suggested reasons are made of dust

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    Featured Member aviendha's Avatar
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    Default Re: a rant about a stalker/harassing guy

    I have to agree that it sounds like a case of ass-dialing. If you were the last person he called, then hitting the "call" button repeatedly on most phones will automatically select the last person dialed.

    Unless you get more phone calls, I doubt he's stalking you. People who want to stalk someone don't ignore them for two weeks.

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    Veteran Member xBlackBettyx's Avatar
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    Default Re: a rant about a stalker/harassing guy

    Yes, I am sure it is because he hates white people.

    Wow.
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    Featured Member WiseGuy_TX's Avatar
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    Default Re: a rant about a stalker/harassing guy

    ...oddly, i would have enjoyed your "over-analysis" of a second date.
    "Peter, did you take Stewie to a strip-club? He smells like sweat and fear." - Lois and Stewie (Family Guy) ... "Through early morning fog I see, Visions of the things to be, The pains that are withheld for me, I realize and I can see..."

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    Default Re: a rant about a stalker/harassing guy

    Yeah, that sounds more like ass dialing than him trying to be a prick.

  17. #17
    TheSexKitten
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    Default Re: a rant about a stalker/harassing guy

    Quote Originally Posted by xBlackBettyx View Post
    Yes, I am sure it is because he hates white people.

    Wow.
    Seriously, damn! The guy never said anything offensive to you, and he was either drunk and misdialing the phone or sober and unknowingly dialing the phone.

    Relax! Just do it! ba ba ba ba ba ba it

    I highly doubt it's a racial issue...

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