Considering, I've kept this quiet and haven't posted much about my zany cooking adventures as of late, I thought I'd post a few truths I've learned about the kitchen in the past couple of weeks.
Among the things I can do, cooking isn't one of them. Therefor comedy says "Do it anyway." I listen. Comedy, I think, I'm good at.
I have great cooking ideas. Fantastic ones. GREAT ONES. They're all forgotten in the ingredient gathering process.
Scrambled eggs are NOT the eggs used to make egg salad.
Sunny side up shouldn't be crunchy.
If you don't wait long enough in the cool down process of the hard boiling of an egg. You will know exactly why some women hate swallowing.
Anything is amazing on a ritz cracker.
Tuna wrapped in ham steaks is not good.
- Add 1 ritz cracker...MARVELOUS.
Hearing is essential in cooking. Loud music is not always wise.
Incidentally boiling Tomato soup can stain a stove temporarily.
Anything with "Chowder" in the title? I should KNOW better.
Chipotel comes...in a CAN. a CANNNNN PEOPLE.
George Foremans can cook human flesh for up to a minute before you really believe your mind telling you it's you in there.
1 Scoop chocolate, 1 Scoop strawberry, and 1 scoop Vanilla protein powder DOES NOT make it taste like that kick ass ice cream I used to love so much. It does make for very colorful cleanup.
Eat first, check the expiration date second is STOOOOOOOPPPPPPIIIIDDDDDDD
30 minute recipes aren't.
Refridgerator poetry is a conspiracy against all timed cooking.
Just because it comes in a bag, and you just add hot water, DOESN'T mean I can't burn it.
And finally, I will do anything to make a girl laugh.



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Mast, we love you! Well if your looking for a cooking instructional, I'll show you how to heat things up in the kitchen


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