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Thread: responses to "I'm a stripper"

  1. #1
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default responses to "I'm a stripper"

    Lately I've had a lot of occasion to say "I'm a stripper." I get more responses that make me laugh than ones that piss me off. Lately, here are a few:

    Me: I'm a stripper.
    Him: Oh, at the oil fields?
    Me: No, at the strip clubs.
    Him: Oh... Oh! Well you don't do it all the way, do you?
    Me: Um, all the way?
    Him: You don't get all the way NAKED do you?

    Him: What do you do for money?
    Me: I dance nekkid.
    Him: Where do you do that, in bars or something?
    Me: No, no I do it at the Farmers Market.

    Me: I'm a stripper.
    Her: Well, we've all had to do things we don't want to for money.
    Me: Actually I decided a few years ago to never do things I don't want to for money.
    Her: Uh... um...
    Her Husband: You mean strippers LIKE it?

    Me: I'm a stripper.
    Her: Oh you poor dear.
    (I was actually speechless. What do you say to that?)

    Him: Where do you live?
    Me: Wherever I am.
    Him: Don't you have a JOB?
    Me: Nope, don't believe in them.
    Him: Oh, then you have a HUSBAND?
    Me: No, don't believe in them either.
    Him: What do you do for money then?
    Me: Dance nekkid.
    Him: Hmpf. I've seen women like you on TV.

    What are some responses you've gotten lately? Funny, stupid, or infuriating...



  2. #2
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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    At a party:
    Me: I'm a stripper.
    Him (weirdo with blue hair): So like OMG can you clap your booty? C'mon, c'mon do it!
    Me: ughhhh
    My friend: gives him the funniest look, and he scampers away.

  3. #3
    God/dess BalletBaby's Avatar
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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    Lena those are great. I can't actually think of any funny "I'm a stripper" conversations. Damn.

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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    Him: What do you do for money?
    Me: I dance nekkid.
    Him: Where do you do that, in bars or something?
    Me: No, no I do it at the Farmers Market.
    ^^^HAHAHAHA. Yea with the vegetables in front of a group of vegans.

    I usually just have a good cover story.
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    Banned gingerlee's Avatar
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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    Guy: Are you in these magazines and photos that you have for sale?
    Me: No, it's my sister and I am capitalizing on her stupidity. She doesn't know I'm on the road pretending to be her.

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    God/dess Bella21's Avatar
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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    No conversation I've had compares. THose are great! With me, it's generally:
    Me: I'm a stripper
    Other male person: No you're not!
    Me: Yes, I am
    OMP: No you're not!
    Me: Ummmm...
    OMP: You're not joking?!?!
    Me: No.
    OMP: Are you SURE you're not joking?
    Me: Yes.
    OMP: Ooooooo, how much money do you make?! I know you can make SO much money!
    Me: Yes.
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Featured Member Sunshine73's Avatar
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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    I think I have told only my manicurist, my hair stylist, and that's it. Usually I get the "wow, that's cool. Which club?" And that is it.

    And I tell everyone else that I am an actress and in promotions. Which is also true. Heh heh.
    Quote Originally Posted by Picaresque View Post
    Maria Callas said it best: "When my critics stop hissing, I shall know I'm slipping."

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    Featured Member Windy's Avatar
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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    hmm people usually jus be like "wow i could never get the confidence to do that! damn how much money you make? wel i could never do that, though...."

    usualy girls tell me that ^

    guys are usually like "wow are comfortable doing that ? ur going 2 college too, right? i mean you know it cant last forever.." (pff no duH!)

    n by some immature young guys, "cool so do you like, grind on guys laps n stuff? oooh can i get a FREE lapdance?"
    [True Passion Demands Respect]
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    God/dess scarlett_vancouver's Avatar
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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    I ALWAYS get:

    Me: I'm a stripper
    Them: Oh! Well, that's OK.

    Yeah, is it? Is it really? Thanks.

    Feature costumes for sale!

  10. #10
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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    How appropriate, as this happened to me today:

    *ring ring*
    Susan: Hello?
    Caller: Hi, may I speak with Susan?
    S: This is she.
    C: Hello, Miss Wayward. This is Some Kid and I'm a student at the College of Liberal Arts at Large State U. It says here you received your degree in July 05. What are you doing with your degree these days?
    S: I'm a stripper, so not much.
    C: Oh! heh heh. Uh, I'm also calling on behalf of our annual fundraiser. Would you like to commit at a level of . .

    He didn't really miss a beat. Couldn't tell me how to endow a stripper scholarship, though.

  11. The Following User Says Thank You to Susan Wayward For This Useful Post:


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    Featured Member Lola Lee's Avatar
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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    I've had this one several times when at a bar ...

    Him: So what type of work do you do?
    Me: I'm a stripper
    Him: Cool, can I see your tits?
    Me: Sure thing, baby. I work at CC-Phx. I'll be there at 8pm tomorrow




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  13. #12
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    Quote Originally Posted by Lena View Post
    Him: Oh... Oh! Well you don't do it all the way, do you?
    Me: Um, all the way?
    Him: You don't get all the way NAKED do you?
    hahaha. Oh god I get that ALL the time. "But you don't get... like... COMPLETELY naked do you???" Of course not darling, I'm a stripper who doesn't strip.

    I find it funny how people always want to assume that you're NOT a stripper

    Person: So, where do you work?
    Me: At the Crazy Horse
    Person: Oh.. what, as a waitress?
    Me: No..
    Person: Door girl?
    Me: No... I'm a stripper
    Person: ....

    Another common one is

    Person: So what do you do?
    Me: I'm a stripper
    Person: Hahahah, yeah, right. What do you really do?
    Me: I'm a stripper...
    Person: ....

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    God/dess RoseWhite's Avatar
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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    Quote Originally Posted by Susan Wayward View Post
    How appropriate, as this happened to me today:

    *ring ring*
    Susan: Hello?
    Caller: Hi, may I speak with Susan?
    S: This is she.
    C: Hello, Miss Wayward. This is Some Kid and I'm a student at the College of Liberal Arts at Large State U. It says here you received your degree in July 05. What are you doing with your degree these days?
    S: I'm a stripper, so not much.
    C: Oh! heh heh. Uh, I'm also calling on behalf of our annual fundraiser. Would you like to commit at a level of . .

    He didn't really miss a beat. Couldn't tell me how to endow a stripper scholarship, though.
    That is CLASSIC. All of these are great! I don't have anything to contribute of my own, as I'm more or less stealth except to a few very close people. This thread is tempting me to start announcing it to total strangers, just for the reaction comedy. *resist . . . resist . . . *

    And Susan - this is the first time I've seen that new avatar (been out of town). I can only assume that's an authentic note you received yourself. What an offer!!! You have to laminate that and save it as an artifact from your dancing days.
    "Before I conceived you, I wanted you. Before you were born, I loved you. Before you were here an hour, I would die for you. This is the miracle of life." -- Maureen Hawkins

    "I just can't get over how much babies cry. I really had no idea what I was getting into. To tell you the truth, I thought it would be more like getting a cat." -- Anne Lamott

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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    Nope, there are a few of those tacked to the wall at one of my clubs -- it's this deaf dude who made the same offer to several different girls!

  16. #15
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    Fucking priceless. Absolutely hilarious.

    I can't remember ever having a similar conversation myself. I never told anybody I wasn't cool with knowing, and the people who were cool with it would just be like, "REALLY?" I did get the "but you don't get all the way NAKED, do you?" a few times. Actually when I told my ex-husband I had started stripping, he asked if it was topless or "the full monty." I told him it was the full monty and he just laughed.

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    Q: So what do you do?
    A: I'm a stripper
    Q: But you seem so normal...


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    all I ever get lately is "REALLY?!!" but then again I just started and these are people that have known me a long time.

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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    Well, my old apartment was selected randomly for a Labour Canada survey. This woman was inescapable. She kept coming to my place, hunting me down, leaving notes under the door. I didn't have a choice but to participate. So for four months I had to answer her call questions...it was totally anonymous, they didn't ask for a name...they just needed the address selected (so when I moved, they started interviewing the new tenants for the rest of the year...suckers).

    Anyway, our conversations were hilarious. They weren't supposed to be interested in WHAT you did for work, just how long you did it for, and how often. I think the portion of the survey she did was only interested in how many hours lazy Canadians were working in our social-system society.

    Her: So, how many hours do you work per week?
    Me: It depends. Sometimes five, sometimes thirty.
    Her: Ok, well these last two weeks. How many hours did you work?
    Me: Well, I worked five hours last week, and this week I didn't go in at all. I've been busy with other things.
    Her:...Are you part time, or full time labour? Are you financially indepent?
    Me: Part time I guess. Sometimes full. I'm financially independent.
    Her: Could you work more if you wanted to?
    Me: I could work whenever I wanted to.
    Her:....
    ....
    What kind of industry do you work in?
    Me: I'm a stripper.
    Her:...
    ...And where do you do this?
    Me: At Barbarella's, on Queen Street.
    Her: (lets out a muffled laugh, then regains professionalism). Thank you. That's all for now.

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    Banned LatinaRose's Avatar
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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    I usually get, "Wow, you must make so much money, like a thousand every night!!!"

    Nothing that really makes me laugh or is worth telling. Maybe I should make an effort to say flat out "I'm a stripper" and I'll get something worth repeating

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    Senior Member Tabytha's Avatar
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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    Him: What do you do?
    Me: I'm a go-go dancer (how we phrase "stripper" in NJ)
    Him: Why don't you get a real job?
    Me: I already have one. I go to work and I get paid. Isn't that what constitutes a job?
    Him: *Confused, dumb-ass redneck look*.


    Her: What do you do?
    Me: I'm a go-go dancer
    Her: Eeeww, I could never do that!
    Me: With that body, you're probably right.

    Him: What do you do?
    Me: I'm a go-go dancer
    Him: Your husband lets you do that?
    Me: If he doesn't want to get the shit kicked outta him, he does.
    Him: No really, he LETS you take off your clothes for a living?
    Me: Go fuck yourself
    Him: Honey, if my dick was really long enough to fuck myself, I'd never leave my house
    Me: If your dick was really long enough to fuck yourself, I'D never leave your house either!!!!!!!!
    Him: So when can I come see you work?....

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    At Ulta, 30 seconds after I walked in the door.

    Him: (practically running up behind me as I'm starting to peruse the better makeup section) Oh you have beautiful hair! *whipping out card* Oh I'd love to do blah blah blah with your hair.
    Me: *totally uninterested* Uh huh.
    Him: What do you do for a living?
    Me: Run an online business.
    Him: *looking me up and down, practically salivating*
    Me: Not THAT kind
    Him: Oh nooooooo, I don't have any stereotypes! I'm a hairdresser so I'm very open!
    Me: Uh huh. That's why you started looking my body up and down with your chin on the floor when I said "online business". *roll eyes and walk away*

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Veteran Member BeBe's Avatar
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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    Responses to I'm a stripper... Do you do private parties?

    Responses to I'm a stripper... Were you abused as a child?

    Responses to I'm a stripper... Full-time? Well, what else do you do?

    Responses to I'm a stripper... You must hate men!

    Responses to I'm a stripper... What are you trying to prove?

    Responses to I'm a stripper... Can I borrow some money?

    Responses to I'm a stripper... You must be a freak in bed!

    How much for the night?

  24. #23
    God/dess virgoamm's Avatar
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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    Quote Originally Posted by Tabytha View Post
    Her: What do you do?
    Me: I'm a go-go dancer
    Her: Eeeww, I could never do that!
    Me: With that body, you're probably right.
    ^^^HAHAHHA!! That's priceless!

  25. #24
    God/dess Lena's Avatar
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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    Today I ran into a nice lady that I met last week. She was with some big important investment guys like "This is Lena, she's from Alaska and she travels around and lives by her wits."



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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: responses to "I'm a stripper"

    Him: I actually charge $300 an hour to teach people to skillfully play blackjack (as we sit together gambling on a cruise)
    Me: oh really? so im getting a good deal then.
    Emily: well that's funny, since she charges $400 an hour for her company.
    Him: So i guess im getting a pretty good deal then too.


    Me: I'm a dancer
    Him: oh, modern or ballet?
    Me: uh no, topless.
    him: oh OHHHH reeeeeeally? (looks me up and down) so how's THAT workin' for ya?
    Me: just great. and my eyes are up HERE.

    Me: I'm a stripper.
    Her: ohhhh... (shoots disdainful look and grabs on to her bf's arm as if i was going to try to steal him lmao)

    Love it!

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