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Thread: I'm sick of being touched

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default I'm sick of being touched

    I'm sick customers touching me. I don't mind a little brush on the back, or legs, or other neutral areas, but I am sick of guys touching my ass and breasts. Especially breasts, for some reason.

    I guess I'm kind of a wuss about saying no. I've always danced defensively, just shifting my body so they can't reach whatever they're trying to get at, but sometimes I 'm not fast enough. Once they've touched my breasts, it's like fucking Brer Rabbit and the tarbaby, nothing I can do will dislodge them. I'll even grab guys hands and try to pull the off my breasts, and the fuckers will *struggle* with me.

    I am also tired of the way guys will keep pushing and pushing and pushing the envelope. They start out touching my legs and if I allow that they want to touch my thighs and their fingers just keep creeping up and up and up. I realize this is partly my fault, because if I want my boundaries respected I have to set them out and enforce them. Like I said, I'm kind of a wuss sometimes. My policy of passive aggression needs to be updated.

    Eventually, I'll say something like "that's too far" but they seem to listen to me less than half the time. Maybe it's because I'm smiling when I say it? I used to try taking their hands and guiding them over the places where I don't mind being touched, but most guys seemed to get the wrong idea with this, pull their hands away from mine, and just start touching everywhere.

    I'm at a loss.

    How do you let customers know where it is and isn't OK to touch you? Do you lay out the rules at the beginning of the dance, or do you wait for them to transgress before you say anything? What do you say? How do you say it?
    Last edited by xoxoGracexoxo; 03-20-2007 at 01:01 PM.

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    Featured Member NatalieFRPhilly's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    Before I start the dance I say theres no touching ok? If they break my rules I end the dance. If alot of other girls at your club allow touching you may have a harder time but stick to your own rules. Be firm and dont allow anything but what youre comfortable with.

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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    Get your money before the dance, lay down the rules, if he breaks them just end the dance.

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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    It's very simply, do not touch me!!! If they do it again, the dance is ended and they're thrown out of the club. If a guy grabs my breast, butt or kitty, the dance ends right then and there and he's kicked out right then and there, no questions asked, no second chance, out now!

  6. #5
    Kaylinn
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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    I try to be tolerable of touching. If a guy touches me I will playfulyl say, You cant touch me there, silly boy! We will get in trouble. If he tries again, I will say, ohh, you are a naughty boy, I told you no touching. If they still try a third time, I will lay it down. You dont want to go to jail do you? If you touch me, you will get caught by the bouncer who will call the cops and have you arrested for soliciting a prostitute. You dont want to have to call your wife and have her come bail you out of jail for having a prositiute do you? They will put yoru name in the local papers for being charged with that. Your boss and all your friends will see it. All because you tried to touch a stripper. You dont want that do you?

    Works every time. Works even better if the bouncer happens to come over at that moment and tap him on the shoulder or say watch your hands. It backs up everythign I just said. Of course, its highly exaggerated, and the worst that can happen is he gets thrown out or something, but he dont know that.

    But I have to say...Ive never had a guy try to grab my kitty or do anything severe like that. I've been lucky in my dancing career to never encounter that, so Im just dealing with them touching my boobs or butt. If I ever had a guy go for my snatch, I would immeadatly end the dance. No warning, no second chances.

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    God/dess anomar's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    Well when I'm pitching the dance I say something like "Well we've got a vip dance room in the back behind the bar -- no you can't see it from here, but it's normally pretty popular! -- $20 and I get totally nude and do a great show for you..." when they say yes I bring them back, get them comfortable and say 'Ok, now just put your hands at your side'. If they ask at that point (since I just made it obviosu that it's no). If they give me trouble during the dance I either signal a bouncer over there or move their hands back. If they piss me off I either walk off or have the bouncer kick them out.

    Do you work in a club where you feel comfortable with having the bouncers enforce the rules? Do you not feel safe at your club? If so you might want to consider another one.

  8. #7
    StrayStripper
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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    I pin their hands and nuzzle on their shoulders and tell them this is the way *I* have fun. I am more about sensuality and the seduction, I say. Breathing on their ears, touching their faces, playing with their hair, squeezing their hands usually has them sold.

    If they don't like it, I go bat shit. This one customer put his hand on my thigh back in November. Last night he came in and asked for a dance. I was like, "Fuck you. Remember what you tried to pull last fall? Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you. I don't care how slow it is tonight and how many girls are here. Fuck you and go away." Then there was this other customer who kept on MAKING OUT WITH MY HAND. I almost stabbed him with a fork. I told him to give me $20 because he broke the rules and I have to pay a fine everytime a customer breaks rules.

    Really, I tell customers who "accidentally" touch my body parts that they have to pay my "fine" for me because I told them from the start that they can not touch my ass, crotch, or tits.

    I tell them that I am too ticklish to be touched on my thighs, stomach, and back. I remind them how good it does not feel.

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    Veteran Member BeBe's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    Don't be afraid to speak up.

    At the start of the dance tell the custy where his/her hands is suppose to go and place them there. Make it very clear where they are not suppose to touch. These rules need to be stated before the dance starts and reinterated, if necessary, during the lapdance.

    Don't assume that a custy knows your boundaries just by body language alone, when and where you draw the line of what a customer can and cannot do needs to be verbally enforced and followed up with clear and concise non-verbal gestures. This can be done politely, but also needs to be frankly stated so that your needs aren't ignored.

    I have little or no trouble with touchy feely customers because I am very clear what I will not tolerate and I've had to twist a few arms, knock a few heads, and slap a few hands, but it doesn't hurt my business one bit.

    Remember, you are in control of the lapdance. Never let a customer set the tone of a lapdance. You have the power to do whatever, whenever you are the one providing a service, not them!

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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    What you have to do is move their hands PLAYFULLY, and GRACEFULLY. If you allow no touching and have a strict no touch policy, they will get angry, see you as a stuck up bitch, and not spend any money. I only get abrupt with the guys who are rough. You must have a fun personallity yet set boundaries in a laid back way.

    We cannot forget that the guys want and desire us. We are in a big time mind game business. It's hard a lot of the time to keep our composure when guys want us, and we just want their money.

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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    Honestly, I am with Kaylinn all the way. I am nice the first two times, and the third time, I snap. I think she has a great way of handling the situation. Personally, I just snap the third time and quit dancing, while saying, "Look, motherfucker, that's disgusting. I just told you three times I didn't want to be touched."
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    sayign something like, "i wish i could let you touch, but im on my third strike with the club, and i canNOT get fired. thanks for respecting that. you're such a gentleman!"
    also, i have used, "it's not that *I* mind, but that the club minds"

    they both work immediately, and throwing out the words respect and gentleman make him feel so good about himself, even if he wants to touch and cant, he may still get another dance bec you made him feel like a million bucks.

    Love it!

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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    Quote Originally Posted by Chrissy68 View Post
    i have used, "it's not that *I* mind, but that the club minds"
    I like that line. I'll have to try it.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    I'm not criticising of anyone who says it coz I know it's a better way to sell more dances but I can't stomach telling them that it's only coz they will get kicked out that I don't let them touch. I don't even want them to think that I don't mind it. I used to say "you will get me in trouble" etc but lately customers have been making me sick and I just can't say it anymore.

    A customer asked me why he couldn't touch and I said "coz I don't allow it, I don't like being touched" and that shut him right up.

    I think they will only take u seriously if u r not smiling when u say it and don't say it in a flirty voice etc. Stop dancing, look straight at them and say "there is no touching, this is your warning, if you do it again I will end the dance and keep your money".

    My club enforces this very strictly and there is no argument, a bouncer will come and remove the guy.

    In fact last saturday I did a double dance with another girl and the guy (who was very drunk on his bucks night) unzipped his fly. We ended the dance, kept the $100 and the whole bucks party was kicked out - I LOVE MY CLUB.

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    As it happens, two-way touching is OK at this club. (Well, not legally -- in fact I had to sign something that said I wouldn't let customers touch me before they'd let me work.) It's pretty common for guys to touch stomach, legs, and even ass, but from what I see, most girls keep guys away from their boobs. A few allow it back in the Champagne Room. There are no bouncers, just the floor managers, and I've never, ever seen them reprimand a customer for touching. I've seen a few girls scolded for allowing touching, but there are no consequences for customers.

    I am pretty sure if I laid down a no-touching policy, I wouldn't get many dances.

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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    A lil off topic but a girl I worked with she used to joke about having a taser gun and tasing them if they tried anything funny.

    If touching is widely accepted at your club then is there any other clubs in the area that suit your comfort level? Im sorry about your situation.
    you live like an ivy vine
    you can only survive by clinging onto trees
    that's your flaw
    put down some roots so you can stand on your own
    -Kenpachi



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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    How do you let customers know where it is and isn't OK to touch you? Do you lay out the rules at the beginning of the dance, or do you wait for them to transgress before you say anything? What do you say? How do you say it?
    Touching is allowed at my home club and I always inform them either as part of the sale or at the commencement of the dance. I also do it in a rather memorable way by saying "You can touch the hills and the mountains but not the valley. Anyone that ventures near the valley will be killed. Plus no mouth contact. Now just sit back, relax and enjoy!"

    The hills are my breasts (as I'm small breasted), the mountains are my butt cheeks since they are round/large and the valley... I think we all should know what that reference is....

    As for clubs where there is no touching involved. Stand up for yourself. Stop dancing immediately, face the customer with a stern/serious look and say "Touching isn't allowed within this club nor by me so please respect the rules and I will give you the best dance I can give you otherwise you will force me to walk away if you do it again"

    Give them one warning. If they do it again then walk away. Don't be so damn tolerant!

    Learn to respect yourself and your boundaries enough to not take shit from the customers no matter how much they have paid you.


    enter: E3167322D9 for your 10% discount

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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    Quote Originally Posted by GoldCoastGirl View Post
    Touching is allowed at my home club and I always inform them either as part of the sale or at the commencement of the dance. I also do it in a rather memorable way by saying "You can touch the hills and the mountains but not the valley. Anyone that ventures near the valley will be killed. Plus no mouth contact. Now just sit back, relax and enjoy!"

    The hills are my breasts (as I'm small breasted), the mountains are my butt cheeks since they are round/large and the valley... I think we all should know what that reference is....

    Haha I love it!!

    Though me myself also hates my boobs being touched at work. I'm fine with my ass and legs being touched but the girls are mine....and so is miss hoo hoo!
    Fools laugh at others. Wisdom laughs at itself...Osho

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    As it happens, two-way touching is OK at this club. (Well, not legally -- in fact I had to sign something that said I wouldn't let customers touch me before they'd let me work.) It's pretty common for guys to touch stomach, legs, and even ass, but from what I see, most girls keep guys away from their boobs. A few allow it back in the Champagne Room. There are no bouncers, just the floor managers, and I've never, ever seen them reprimand a customer for touching. I've seen a few girls scolded for allowing touching, but there are no consequences for customers.

    I am pretty sure if I laid down a no-touching policy, I wouldn't get many dances.
    well, no one has to know it's a no touching policy until you are in the dance room. and at that point the lines i said above in this thread will work. (saying you're on a third strike is hinting that you're a naughty, naughty girl lol and you can start to tell tall tales about the first and second strikes..) a lot of eye contact and such will help, but honestly (and i mean this only to help you) if you are getting annoyed with being touched, this job might not be for you anymore. or take a break. when i get that way, it's a MAJOR sign of burn out. vacation!

    Love it!

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    God/dess Corgan's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    Quote Originally Posted by StrayStripper View Post
    Then there was this other customer who kept on MAKING OUT WITH MY HAND. I almost stabbed him with a fork. I told him to give me $20 because he broke the rules and I have to pay a fine everytime a customer breaks rules.

    yes, i've had a hand make out session once.... it was gross to me... my hand smelled like bad beer breath, i had to wash them right away after that... SOOOOO GROSSS

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    Featured Member Sinder's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    I carry handcuffs with me in my purse or on me when I dress as a cop for my shows. If the guy gets too touchy, I warn him that if he keeps it up, I will cuff his hands behind his back....and I have.

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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    Quote Originally Posted by Chrissy68 View Post
    well, no one has to know it's a no touching policy until you are in the dance room.
    No such luck -- in Austin it's all like CH2 -- table dances all on the floor. Guys can see perfectly well what other dancers are doing long before they buy dances. I don't know what to tell ya, Grace, other than I'm pretty fucking happy I don't dance in Austin anymore. I mean, it'd be one thing if the money was ridiculous there, but it isn't.

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    You know, I've tried most of the approaches at one time or another, including the "third strike" and they work differently for different guys. Right now, I'm sick of having to say anything at all. I wish they would JUST STOP. So, wish in one hand and crap in the other, right?

    Blech. Maybe I'm just a little burned out. Vacation in June. I'll just have to stay on my game till then. If I don't want them touching me, I'll just say so. My short-term savings goals are met for right now, so if I have to take a pay cut till I get my head together, so be it.
    Last edited by xoxoGracexoxo; 03-21-2007 at 09:04 AM.

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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    Quote Originally Posted by StrayStripper View Post
    I told him to give me $20 because he broke the rules and I have to pay a fine everytime a customer breaks rules.
    Oh that is genius! I'll be using that one
    Fools laugh at others. Wisdom laughs at itself...Osho

  26. #24
    StrayStripper
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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    Quote Originally Posted by MishaBliss View Post
    Originally Posted by StrayStripper
    I told him to give me $20 because he broke the rules and I have to pay a fine everytime a customer breaks rules.



    Oh that is genius! I'll be using that one
    A customer puked on my back the other day and he paid a $150 "fine". God, that was disgusting.

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    Featured Member amylynnej's Avatar
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    Default Re: I'm sick of being touched

    its called heel meet groin. Say goodnight a-hole!
    AmyLynne

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