Okay, worse new boyfriend story ever. I was chilling over at my new boy's place, we'd known each other about two weeks at this point. He lives in an apartment in a really old house and the toilet had been f'ed up since before he moved in. Sometimes it didn't flush, no biggie, we're both adults, we know what poop looks like, everyone poops, yadda yadda.
Well, after a day of mexican food and a really hard run, my poor colon can't take anymore and I have this horrible, explosive, runny poop. And it doesn't flush. It doesn't flush it doesn't flush, I use the plunger, still no dice, and then... then when I push the handle, the water doesn't go down... it starts coming up. Yeah. Poopy water ALL OVER this poor guy's bathroom floor, starts running into the kitchen....
I don't know why he's still dating me, I would've dumped me right then.

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