I know I shouldn't but lately I've been looking at myself through other people's eyes. My club is pretty small, hell my city is relativley small compared to other big cities so you run into of regulars. I've been feeling like guys in there are looking down on me and feeling sorry for me. In actuality it's probably actually just looking at myself that way. I've been working at my club off and on for almost five years...for the most part I like my job...I still make very good money being a clean dancer..but I just feel like those guys look down on strippers and somehow "know" that I didn't come from a rich background and all I am trying to do with my life is get ahead and set myself up for the future. I just feel like they think to themselves "Oh look she's 25 now and she is STILL doing this..she must need the money really bad" I just feel like guys are so disrespectful to dancers lately too. Was it always this way? I felt like five years ago more guys treated us like ladies and princesses and now it's like they treat us like we are society's scum or something and it REALLY bothers me.
On Tuesday I was dancing for this guy and he was like "Can I ask you a question? Do you dance because you like it or because you need the money?" I laughed it off like "I only do things that are fun." But DUH I mean yes I need the money because I want to get ahead in life!! Sorry I wasn't born rich ok! This job has been very good to me and I was able to find the time to go back and get my high school diploma and then get some collage and a car, ect all because of this...I want to get a house and an education too before I retire...there is no way I could probably do all this without dancing. How can people look down on that???
For a while I was feeling like people were looking at me like some useless burn out stripper who will be trapped in this untill I'm thirty. But I choose to be there and am doing positive things with my money. I'm not a hooker or drug user..I'm a really nice person that has alot to offer this world with lots of talent and I feel like people don't want to acknowlege that or can even see that because I'm a "dancer". I have alot of respect for myself and treat others with respect too and I'm tired of being looked at like "Poor girl she has to dance to make a living. She hasn't found some rich guy to take care of her yet" First of all I accept that I have to work for a living..I'm not looking for that, I like my independance and want marry someone I really love..not because I'm obligated to. I'm just tired of all these people's assumptions about me and my life.
It really is effecting my self esteem and image about myself and I want to get out of this mindset. How? Has anyone ever gone through this? I never looked at dancing negatively before why now?



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Likely the source of your negativity is some guy that stocks shelves at Wal-Mart all night. Or possibly sits in a cubicle and sells life insurance over the phone. Certainly, if you really look at your critics, you'll see that they are not coming from an enviable position. 


I know being realistic is important and assessing your talents but at the same time reaching for the sky makes me feel alive.
I see completely where you are coming from. Mentally you do have to live your life on the defensive. It's exausting. I know what you mean about being your "true self" and "peace of mind" That is what I want...I've learned that in a strip club you have to be protective of yourself. It can be hard to live your life one way, then go out in your life and live it with an open heart.
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