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Thread: Women And Double Standards

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    Default Women And Double Standards

    I've seen this scenario several times, on reality shows mostly, but in real life as well. It goes like this: Girl cheats on current BF at home or whatever, tells BF, thinks everything is peachy and that they deserve a second chance. BF does the same thing and they flip out. Sorry honey, just because you have a vagina doesn't entitle you to be an asshole and cheat on someone and not except the same thing back. It annoys the fuck out of me when women act like they're somehow special, and if they do it, it's ok, but if their BF does it after they do they're horribly betrayed, blah blah blah. Get over yourself. /End rant.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    Um, well I'm old fashioned but I think if you forgive someone for a bad act (like cheating) that means that you don't get to hold it over the person and reserve as "bad points" to be redeemed at a later date.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    Whenever I've seen this take place the BF never said "I forgive you". It's left up in the air. I agree if someone forgives someone they shouldn't hold it over their head.

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    Featured Member tootsie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    Quote Originally Posted by sc0101 View Post
    I've seen this scenario several times, on reality shows mostly, but in real life as well. It goes like this: Girl cheats on current BF at home or whatever, tells BF, thinks everything is peachy and that they deserve a second chance. BF does the same thing and they flip out. Sorry honey, just because you have a vagina doesn't entitle you to be an asshole and cheat on someone and not except the same thing back. It annoys the fuck out of me when women act like they're somehow special, and if they do it, it's ok, but if their BF does it after they do they're horribly betrayed, blah blah blah. Get over yourself. /End rant.

    i just saw that scenerio on the real world!

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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    I've probably seen it on the current season as well but I don't watch it much.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    Quote Originally Posted by sc0101 View Post
    Whenever I've seen this take place the BF never said "I forgive you". It's left up in the air. I agree if someone forgives someone they shouldn't hold it over their head.
    Whatever - I'm of the two wrongs don't make a right school, regardless of sex. Deal with it or don't; but you don't get to just hold it for a "pass".
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    Who says they're using it as a pass? As far as I'm concerned the male feels the relationship is pretty much over and why not. I don't believe they're doing it out of spite.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    Quote Originally Posted by sc0101 View Post
    Who says they're using it as a pass? As far as I'm concerned the male feels the relationship is pretty much over and why not. I don't believe they're doing it out of spite.
    Well, I would say that you are not the one concerned, and unless one party has actually broken up with the other, the relationship is still on. If the relationship is in fact over, THAT could be what the other party is so upset about; I mean even if "you deserve it" you might be sad that your boyfriend has left you.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    Just because there is a relationship doesn't mean that it includes boyfriend and girlfriend, I'm sure it's knocked down to talking or friend status at that point. I've seen women get so mad yet nevet mention the relationship is over, so I'm assuming they know/think the relationship is still on.

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    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    I've seen plenty of men who use the same double standard as well, usually out of "I needed love/sex/outlet."

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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    Oh I agree, both parties can play the card, I've just been seeing a lot of females doing it so I wanted to rant. I'm an equal oppurtunity ranter usually.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    Quote Originally Posted by sc0101 View Post
    Just because there is a relationship doesn't mean that it includes boyfriend and girlfriend, I'm sure it's knocked down to talking or friend status at that point. I've seen women get so mad yet nevet mention the relationship is over, so I'm assuming they know/think the relationship is still on.
    Okay - just so I'm clear - because I'm really not - we are discussing a relationship in which a woman has cheated on her boyfriend; he has ended the exclusive romantic relationship WITHOUT TELLING HER, sleeps with someone else; she gets mad and... this is unreasonable? It think it is really reasonable. I'd be mad.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    What goes around comes around. What can someone expect when they do that? What do they expect when the BF hangs up on them without saying anything. I'd take that as "we're done" most likely.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    Okay - it sounds to me like we're getting into a fairly specific situation now. Tell the truth - is this you? Come on, own up. We'll still respect you.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    Haha no, I'm speaking about incidents like on the Real World, not sure if you've seen it. Women like that just irk me (men as well). I've been with the same partner for over a year and I'd never cheat on him and the other way around.

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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    Teehee, this is getting complicated. Whatever the case, I agree, OP!

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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    Quote Originally Posted by TheSexKitten View Post
    Teehee, this is getting complicated. Whatever the case, I agree, OP!
    I agree with the OP, a woman has no right to get any madder than a guy if they both cheat. But I'd just dump her instantly, rather than try to get 'payback'.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
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  18. #18
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    I agree DJoser, it only makes the person cheated on just as bad as the cheater.

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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    Equality comes with responsibilities as well as rights, in my view.

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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    Interesting thread. OP took a LOT o balls to write this.

    Some of these replies are very very problematic.

    This is a rough topic to relay...anyways, personal belief only and I'll try to keep it simple.

    Outside of my own definition of the word love, Monogamy is a beautiful thing. It exists in one of two forms: A sacrifice or an Achievement.

    Both are beautiful really, I prefer the latter, but I may just not be strong enough for the former.

    Either way, I agree with jenny. You either Forgive or you don't. If you don't see how maliciously ruining a mental score card of transgressions is in a couple trying to have a healthy relationship, you're crazy.

    So many ways this could have been handled appropriately. Neither members asked the right "Why" question. Maybe they could have discovered a flaw that couldn't be repaired and moved on instead of becoming so dependent upon the existence of the relationship itself that they used it's label like a prison only to break free in the off-chance of evening a score.

    What should have happened is a realization that this person was never forgiven.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    Case on point:

    My friend cheated on her bf (now fiance) at the start of their relationship.
    She found out that he cheated on her with his ex girlfriend at the start of the relationship and she went medieval on his arse. She 'forgave' him but made him pay big time for it.

    I asked her why she didn't fess up to what she did so that they could start on a clean slate.

    She said there was no way she would coz then she couldnt use what he did against him - nasty nasty business.

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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    to me cheating is the ultimate slap in the face you can give your partner. whether it be a women cheating on a man or visa versa. my take on cheating is that if you were happy with the car you were driving there is no need to test drive others. for me its inexcusable if both partners have a clear understanding that you are an exclusive couple. ie. not going through were just "talking" "seeing" "dating" stages. as ambiguous as those stages seem to be i think its a fair game at that point. i have always handled being cheated on in the same way. i tell them that i must not be making them happy, there is no way that i can be what the want, so i cut them lose and its see you later. no exceptions. kind of a black and white way to look at it, but for me thats what makes sense.

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: Women And Double Standards

    Quote Originally Posted by vy10tex View Post
    to me cheating is the ultimate slap in the face you can give your partner. whether it be a women cheating on a man or visa versa.
    It is a slap on the face. It's reality. Most likely the final reality blow that makes all the actions the partner was doing previously make sense.

    It's a great thing to assume "My girl is just hanging out with him, they would never do anything like that"
    It's even greater for that thought to never get into your head ever because of how you're treated. Think about that.

    my take on cheating is that if you were happy with the car you were driving there is no need to test drive others.
    This is a common misconception. 2 things here: (I'm not being aggressive, but I'm just departing my knowledge)

    1. NEVER treat people as if they are equally interchangeable. That's horrifically disproportionate. People aren't cars, tables, figures, or trading cards. They're not just there to be handed around to find out which offers the best ride or which offers the best handling. Because when you PICK one, there's nothing about that choice you can relay that will make perfect sense to anyone else.

    2. If we WERE to take that metaphor, look at what you're saying. "I'm happy so why not look?" WRONG. Familiarity breeds contempt. If you're relationship doesn't change with you or your interests and you're just happy, you'll eventually grow too used to that happiness and seek out what? Greater Happiness.


    for me its inexcusable if both partners have a clear understanding that you are an exclusive couple.
    Absolutely. And while the "cheating" is an BIG ISSUE, It's more an insult that communication broke down so far that the couple didn't see it coming. I'd be more offended that she couldn't talk to me about it so that it wouldn't be considered cheating.

    i have always handled being cheated on in the same way. i tell them that i must not be making them happy, there is no way that i can be what the want, so i cut them lose and its see you later. no exceptions. kind of a black and white way to look at it, but for me thats what makes sense.
    And if you keep that in mind, as life passes, you're "sense" will change, so will your world views. However stay true to what you believe at that time, and you will always lead a pretty low drama life.

    Problems begin when you stop achieving what YOU want and you start changing yourself to be what you think your PARTNER wants.


    I wasn't challenging you, F.Y.I. just commenting
    Last edited by Mastridonicus; 03-25-2007 at 02:21 PM.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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