I have been dating my bf long distance for over a year. The plan had been that I was going to move to CT, where he lives, this summer. Well, I freaked out in January. I started to worry about money because its so expensive there. I also started to wonder whether I should move for a guy, because I did this before and didn't want it to be a pattern. Also, if we broke up, it would be a struggle for me to pay for an apartment myself. I didn't want this stress and worried we would fight about money because he doesn't have any money saved and lives paycheck to paycheck.
Anyway, we have been slowly breaking up since Feb. I initiated it, and when he said let's keep dating long distance for a while I said for what end if neither of us is willing to move. Then we stoped talking for a while, and I missed him so much. I started to realize what a huge part of my life he is. He still is my best friend and I always want to call him when something happens.
I reversed completely and said I would move there and get my own apartment. He thought about it for a week and said don't move, its over. So now I am totally heartbroken because of something I caused. And all I've been doing is crying at home and wanting to call him. He is so nice (and I think that he still loves me, or at least likes me) that if I called him he would talk to me. But I don't want to be crazy. I also know that he has accepted that this is over and is moving on. I haven't.
I'm not really sure what to do. If he asked me to, I would go back to him. But I know he won't. I don't want to call him so much that he gets sick of me, and has to be rude to get rid of me. I'm just so sad.



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