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Thread: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

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    Veteran Member Snowles's Avatar
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    Default Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    I've known this one girl for about 2 and a half years. I met her in my hometown (we get one girl a week out here) and I travel to Thunder Bay whenever I see her on the lineup there, if I can. Anyhow, I've been a regular of hers whenever possible, and last time I went to see her she told me she was breaking up with her boyfriend and asked for my cell #.

    I suppose I could elaborate on the situation a little more. I made the two and a half hour trip to see her earlier in the week because it was her first time featuring there, and her second (I'm pretty sure) time featuring at all. I told her about the song I was writing about her, and she said that she thought that was very cool. I went outside for a cigarette, and when I came back in she'd bought a beer for me and chatted with me for a while. I bought a couple dances from her and watched a show, but I had to make the 150 mile drive home after that.

    I returned after my last shift on the weekend, and stopped in to see her again. We hung out most of the night, chatting and stuff. I bought some dances, and a song came on that I knew...it was Santa Monica, by Theory of a Deadman. I'm a singer, and for some reason I just couldn't help singing the song. She heard me and stopped dancing, and just sat on my lap and listened. When the song was done, she said "You have a really nice voice. That one was on me...I didn't really dance, just listened to you." I paid her anyway...I love a captive audience. Anyway, we chatted some more, and she said "Did I tell you I'm breaking up with my boyfriend? I've been trying to for a while now..." she then asked for my cell #, gave me a kiss, and went to get ready for her last show.

    I know that asking for a phone # is a standard piece of SS, but I've been a regular of hers for 2 years...why would she decide to start using it now? She knows I'm not going anywhere, so I'm just a little confused. Anyone have any input on this?

    Sorry for the long post...I've been up for a long time and I'm kinda rambling. Any help you have would be great.

    -Tom

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    Well I usually call ss on most posts such as these but I dunno Im inclined to think she actually likes you.

    Just be careful coz any person (strippers and non-strippers) on the rebound can end up hurting you.

  3. #3
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    Quote Originally Posted by jaizaine View Post
    Just be careful coz any person (strippers and non-strippers) on the rebound can end up hurting you.
    So true. I think strippers on the rebound somehow hurt a man more.

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    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    It's SS.

    If she's not giving you her number and making concrete OTC plans, she's not really interested.
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    See where it will go if you want.

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    God/dess Corgan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    what's ss? stripper shit?? i have no idea..

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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    Yeap SS=stripper shit

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    Quote Originally Posted by Corgan View Post
    what's ss? stripper shit?? i have no idea..
    Corgan, this link might be helpful for abbreviations and so forth

    http://www.stripperweb.com/wiki/Stripper_glossary

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    theres even a glossary wow

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    God/dess Corgan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    thank you FBR *blows kisses*

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    God/dess Corgan's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    but wait.. it wont let me view it??

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    Pryce just completed some site upgrades so maybe something is temporarily broken. You should report in site issues. In the meantime I'll PM you the content.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Senior Member WoodyLV's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    agree with jaizaine. she prob does like you to some extent. perhaps you are so much 'nicer' than her BF? a convenient escape. i bet her BF would be so grinded if she goes out with a custie.

    nevertheless - ENJOY! while it lasts.

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    Banned All Good Things's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    ^ Oh, so sorry, but it's SS. No question about it.

    If she were really interested in you, she would exchange numbers with you, call you the next day (or wait for your call) and make plans right away to see you OTC. You would already be posting about your first night together.

    The "breaking up with the boyfriend" is also classical SS. If you know that going into the club, it can make it a fun experience because both of you know that it's just a game. Just don't take it too seriously. Unless you know a great deal about this girl's personal life, and have actually witnessed her relationship with her b/f, I would not take seriously any comment on it in the SC.

    Keep in mind that as a regular, you are principally a source of income to her, and that's exactly how she sees you. There is nothing at all wrong with this, but for it to cross the line to something more personal and substantial, there needs to be a radical break from what you have experienced with her. That means that she gives you her number and address, begins to refuse to take money from you, calls you and meets you for a night out, etc.

    The way you know it is real is that it bears no resemblance at all to your previous connection to her. She reveals to you her "real" self and not her club self. It's a dramatic difference and you cannot possibly mistake it when it happens.

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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    ^I dunno, baby. I was inclined to think that she might have some real interest. Maybe not all girls move as fast as yours have?

    I think he might just have a snowball's chance in hell--case in point: she tried to offer him a dance "on her." That's along the lines of "refuse to take money from you," isn't it? (And c'mon, let's face it: The guy is a musician! )
    "Doc still loved true things, but he knew it was not a general love and it could be a very dangerous mistress." - John Steinbeck, Cannery Row


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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    I'm also inclined to think she may actually like you... and hey, her asking for your number as opposed to giving you hers isn't a bad thing, IMHO that's standard first-date setup.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    ^^^^
    as I said I have never read a post in CC where I have thought the dancer liked the guy but in this case it sounds like she does.

    Just proceed with caution coz she is on the rebound.

    As for her number and make a date. If she cancels it then the other posters are prob right and it is SS. If the only thing she wants to discuss on the phone is meeting ITC then it is also SS.

    It sounds like she enjoyed your singing and she didn't want money from you at that point.

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    God/dess Bridgette's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    Some girls don't jump right into the sack with a guy immediately after breaking up with another, yall. Some girls will get the number of an interest and call him later. I am usually inclined to say it's just SS (vast majority) but this one sounds different. She's been dancing for him over 2 years and he drives over 2 hours one-way to see her (and I'm quite sure she knows this) - why would she be throwing that kind of SS on him now??


    Snowles, sounds to me like she might want you to be her rebound guy. Have fun with it if you want, but don't get too emotionally involved.

    Quote Originally Posted by pheno View Post
    When you lead a nontraditional life don't try to measure it with traditional milestones.

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    Veteran Member Snowles's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    We have hung out OTC before, and I can safely say she's one of the sweetest, most down-to-earth girls I've ever met, anywhere. She's kind, compassionate, fun, charming, she's got a killer smile...who knows? I'll see where it all leads. You only live once. Unless you're a Buddhist...that whole reincarnation deal and all...

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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    You know, dancer or no,

    I've never could take stock in anything anyone said on either side.

    But I never needed all that much clarity. I'm of the ilk "Let's see if she's serious."

    I have no problem being the guy who hands out his number and doesn't get a call. It's life. If I can't enjoy the fantasy anymore cause I'm trying to figure out if it's real...why pay money while asking everyone else? I'd sooner just stop bs'ing myself.

    I mean, I just don't believe I'm some trophy, and every girl interested in me is going to stop me and say "I like you beyond your wallet, here's my number, call me" It's all words and meaningless until there is sufficient action anyways...who cares who initiated the contact? Granted it's nice to be contacted, but, like I said, I'm capable of seeing the reality in the mist if I need to. I just RARELY often need to, and when I do, I'll be DAMNED to risk letting it slip away waiting for her.
    People are not ruled by their memories.

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    Senior Member WoodyLV's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    Make us proud buddy!!

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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    From my humble experience of such things, dancers who genuinely want to meet you outside of work for friendship/relationship reasons aren't going to rushed into it.

    It means a translation from their professional to their private lives, and they're not going to let you fully into their private lives until they know you can trust you.

    99% of the time phone numbers and mentions of OTC meetings are SS, but occasionally it's genuine.

    One thing that does suggest there is an element of SS in all this is the length of time she's known you - if she had an urge to seriously see you OTC, surely she would have made that known a lot earlier?

    That said, no harm in meeting her OTC again - just be sure:

    (a) You know what the ground rules are - and stay within them.
    (b) Don't get your hopes too high if being on the rebound is the only reason why she's interested in you.
    (c) Accept that she may take time to get out of the dancer/customer mindset.

    Phil.

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    God/dess VegasPrincess's Avatar
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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    I think this sounds somewhat legit. I think she's broken up with her boyfriend, and is like, "Hey, what about that guy who always drives 200 miles to see me.... he adores me! He won't break my heart!"

    Sounds like she does like you, but as with anyone on the rebound, don't get too involved too quick.
    Sexy Jasmine after getting fucked over at work:

    God loves strippers and when guys do things like that its an automatic ticket to HELL!


    Quote Originally Posted by anomar View Post
    Perhaps you stopped spending money on her. Strippers need money to operate. They are like coin operated juke-boxes of love.

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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    Girls in Thunder bay don't SS. They don't need to, and it's not the style there anyways because it's a transient gig. She's somewhat interested, but tentative because you're a customer. Tread carefully!

    Feature costumes for sale!

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    Default Re: Confused about SS...kinda long, bear with me

    Agree with the rebound stuff. If you really like her and want to date her then you might want to wait for her to come down from the after-shocks and make sure she is completely over the bf. If she was ever interested in you, she will call even if it is months later.

    Why use it now?
    Just because the girl is a stripper doesn't mean she is going to cheat on her bf or husband, so she wasn't going to go out with you if she has been in love with someone else for the past 2 years.

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