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Thread: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

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    Default Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    I've noticed I don't like men any more. Not that I became attracted to women, I did not, I am just very suspicious of men these days. I know it's wrong, there should be some great guys out there, but I avoid any contact with men OTC. They irritate me. I even hate going to the gym because there are guys there. If any man gives me a compliment or says anything to me, all I want to say is "fuck off'. I wasn't like this before I was a stripper. I guess meeting some many a-holes turned me into being so cold and distrusting towards men. Is it temporary or will I need therapy after I quit dancing? I don't have a problem smiling and flirting with the guys at work because I get paid for it, but any time I meet a man OTC I immediately try to judge how they would act in the club, would they be handsy, rude, cheap etc. Do any of you feel this way? Any advice? I pretty much think any man who tries to talk to me wants something from me either f-ck, or money, or both or something else and I don't want to give them a chance.

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    Sound pretty normal to me. We have to be on guard when at work towards men and its hard to switch that off outside of work.

    I have been in a long term relationship so Im not sure how it would affect me if I were single but if men hit on me outside of work it pisses me off (it never used too, in fact I used to like the attention).

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    Featured Member Windy's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    hey totaly know what u mean. ive become like that too - ha!

    i mean before i started dancing..of course i was still ANNOYED with stupid men, who isnt?

    but of course after a while, while dancing, i became even MORE ANGRY! and yeah usually i try to hold my tounge out in public, but if im on pms or on a bad day, ill flip them off or say loudly "WHAT ARE YOU LOOKING AT???!!!"

    i guess its because we deal with plenty assholes at "WORK", that we dont like to be reminded of the bad part of the job. i mean, i think thats with pretty much alot of jobs - when youre off work - you dont like to be reminded of WORK. and i guess its also because..if some guy was trying to hit on us at WORK...that could turn out to be some $$$ rigght there. but outside of work? nothing but annoyance.

    well what i try to do is...just dont take it personal. i try to see MYSELF from THEIR point of view...which is prolly just some "chick" whos attractive - thats all. and you know, i try to remind myself im not the ONLY girl he's probably hit on that day. im sure he does it to any decent lookin chick because hes desperate. so, i dont take it personal. im just "another" random hot chick walking by...nothing more, nothing less to him.
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    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    Personally no, it hasnt made any difference to me, but I know alot of dancer who say it has.
    I am slightly more anti-social though as a result of working in such a social enviroment and I dont have much patience with guys if they try to chat me up these days cos I feel like ive heard it all before and know what to expect.

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    Featured Member nicole84's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    I would say it hasn't made much of a difference for me. It has made a tiny bit of one though. I used to be much more naive about when guys were hitting on me, and now I can tell a mile away. I also find I do have less patience for guys using lines to pick me up, cause it's like 'dude, i've heard that one a million times in the club'. Also, I'll admit, I do wind up telling the guy what I do pretty soon off the bat. That way, I can usually tell what his reaction is without wasting a ton of time (i can always see that shift in their minds where they move me from 'date' potential to simply 'fuck' potential).

    I know a lot of girls who says they have gotten to a point where they practically hate men though, so I guess some of it is just how well you put the guys in a club in a separate category from guys outside the club.

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    Featured Member sunnie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    Quote Originally Posted by nicole84 View Post
    It has made a tiny bit of one though. I used to be much more naive about when guys were hitting on me, and now I can tell a mile away.
    Hahaha, it is like a hunter that is tuned in to seeing the prey. A guy doesn't even have to look at me twice before I can size up what kind of lines he will use, etc., etc.

    I am not really trustful of complete strangers, like I would be more willing to consider a guy that I know through a friend or something to go out with. I guess the biggest difference is that now when I meet guys out I don't bother to give them my real name or story.

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    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    I'm with you, but for me it's not related to my experience as a stripper. My animosity towards men comes from my personal OTC experiences with men. Of course, I have men in my life (Boyfriend, my best male friend, etc) whom I have positive interactions with, but other than that, I try to avoid contact with men I don't know OTC. I feel the same as you, men want something from me, and it's something that I don't want to give them, usually.

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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    I'm the opposite. I used to be a man hater before I started dancing, then spending so much time around men all these years has made me a lot more comfortable.

    I do still get annoyed around young guys (like under 70 years, hehe) out in public. The senior citizen men are actually really great. They are friendly and polite and nice to talk to. Men born in the 30's and 40's are from a different era, and treat women differently than the baby boom generation and beyond. I like that old fashioned respect that the older gentlemen have for women. Society has changed and honor no longer has a place in this self centered, make-the-money, pimp-the-bitches world. *sigh*

    At least today, when the pimp wannabes try to treat women like chattel, we can tell them to fuck off, and keep climbing the corporate ladder.


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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    I think it's because we know too much about what they REALLY want when random guys approach us OTC. We don't exactly need the ego boost because we get all that "you're so beautiful" crap ITC, so... unless we're looking for a relationship and we think that this particular dude could be the one, it's just a complete waste of time.

    Personally, it pisses me off when guys hit on me OTC (no, i haven't always been like that. I used to need the ego boost). Like, "Hello! Can't you see I'm f*cking busy?!". I just ordered a shirt that says, "I have a boyfriend". I'm on a mission to collect all sorts of shirts that basically say, "Don't talk to me".
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Featured Member Krazyjane's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    You're just realizing that people have ugly sides, and you're paranoid how people are underneath it all. I used to be very paranoid and angry, not just at men. Stripping made me lose a lot of friends, as guys would assume that I was "cool" and accessible, and girls would get catty. I'm still cautious, but I find that i do have better judgment.

    Whatever you do, don't let this anger affect you. I went through some trauma courtesy of a club with no bouncers, and took it out on my boyfriend of the time.

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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    I dont hate guys, I just feel like, "dam why is he hitting on me here, I shoudl've met him at work" lol that's what crosses my mind now.







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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    Last night this guy was staring me down at Blockbuster. I was about to go off on him, then he started talking to the cashier, and he was totally gay!

    So yes, it can happen. The ugly side of humanity rears its head. I will never look at men the same. But I still love 'em!

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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    Well, me, I dislike men because of the patriarchy.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    We are propositioned for sex dozens of times a day by men. This does tend to color one's view when not at work.

    Sort of like cops seeing (potential) criminals everywhere.
    Last edited by VenusGoddess; 03-30-2007 at 09:31 PM.


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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    My biggest complaint is when men interrupt something I'm doing (like having lunch with a male friend or talking on the phone) to scam on me. It makes me wonder why they think its ok and I assume they've decided that because we're girls we won't stand up for ourselves and tell them to leave us alone. Its part of that social conditioning that we are supposed to be sweet and nice all of the time and we probably look good because we want lame guys to approach us.

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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Adelina View Post
    I've noticed I don't like men any more. Not that I became attracted to women, I did not, I am just very suspicious of men these days. I know it's wrong, there should be some great guys out there, but I avoid any contact with men OTC. They irritate me. I even hate going to the gym because there are guys there. If any man gives me a compliment or says anything to me, all I want to say is "fuck off'. I wasn't like this before I was a stripper. I guess meeting some many a-holes turned me into being so cold and distrusting towards men. Is it temporary or will I need therapy after I quit dancing? I don't have a problem smiling and flirting with the guys at work because I get paid for it, but any time I meet a man OTC I immediately try to judge how they would act in the club, would they be handsy, rude, cheap etc. Do any of you feel this way? Any advice? I pretty much think any man who tries to talk to me wants something from me either f-ck, or money, or both or something else and I don't want to give them a chance.
    Yeah I know what you mean! I worry about the after effects of this job alot. I hope when I get out of dancing I will see life in a different way..I hope.

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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    when i go out, my friends have to remind me that i'm not working, because of the way i act sometimes. i do kinda look at every guy like a potential hustle.

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    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    Quote Originally Posted by magnificentchacha View Post
    My biggest complaint is when men interrupt something I'm doing (like having lunch with a male friend or talking on the phone) to scam on me. It makes me wonder why they think its ok and I assume they've decided that because we're girls we won't stand up for ourselves and tell them to leave us alone. Its part of that social conditioning that we are supposed to be sweet and nice all of the time and we probably look good because we want lame guys to approach us.
    I've gotten into many a verbal confrontation when a man has rudely interruped a private conversation that I'm having with one of my girlfriends. At first, I ask politely for some space because we're having a discussion, and that has usually been met with me being called a snob, bitch, stuck up, or something like that. A man would NEVER (without expecting to be told off or beat up) interrupt a woman if she was in a conversation with another man (even if there was only one guy with like 3 girls), so why do they do it when we are only in the company of other females?

    Ugh!

    *end rant*

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    Glamazon
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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    Quote Originally Posted by lilac666 View Post
    Yeah I know what you mean! I worry about the after effects of this job alot. I hope when I get out of dancing I will see life in a different way..I hope.
    I would have to say that I'm glad that over the years I have become less trusting of men. Because of having not been on my guard in the past, I have been in some really bad situations with men. I'm glad that I'm not as trusting as I used to be, I feel like it keeps me safer.

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    I like cool guys and avoid assholes. I think dancing may have made me a little quicker to spot the difference, though I was a pretty decent judge of character even before I started dancing. I have been shocked at times *how much* of an asshole some guys will be -- guys who try to rip you off for money, or touch you after you ask them not to, or groups of guys who encourage each other in childish and rude behavior. I feel like I've seen guys at some of their worst, and I'll never forget it. On the other hand, I've met some great, respectful men at work.

    I'm a lot quicker to brush guys off when they hit on me outside of work. I used to feel like I had to put up with a certain ammount of it, or had to be "polite" when guys were basically forcing themselves on me in public. Now I'm civil, but very firm about asking men to leave me alone. So overall, I think dancing has actually made me more confident about what I want and improved my interactions with men.

    Of course, I have a wonderful boyfriend who constantly reminds me of how great some guys can be. I don't know how I would feel if I were single.

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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    I think it's a phase. I was like this for awhile, but then I got over it.

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    Picaresque
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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    Quote Originally Posted by Glamazon View Post
    I'm with you, but for me it's not related to my experience as a stripper. My animosity towards men comes from my personal OTC experiences with men. Of course, I have men in my life (Boyfriend, my best male friend, etc) whom I have positive interactions with, but other than that, I try to avoid contact with men I don't know OTC. I feel the same as you, men want something from me, and it's something that I don't want to give them, usually.
    YES. me too. I've always been disgusted with men...the only exceptions being my best friend and my father. And it has nothing to do with being a stripper; it has everything to do with how men treat me OTC, in real life. Cheating, lying, manipulating, arrogant, leading me on and pretending to want a relationship just so they can get laid, acting like a jackass when they realize i'm not falling for it and won't fuck them, typical alpha-male cocky behavior and misogynistic attitudes, and just generally thinking with their dicks. Maybe others have better luck, but every guy I meet just wants a fuck and that's it...and most of them will do anything to get it without giving a shit about the girl. Disgusting.

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    Veteran Member josie's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    I can barely tolerate men anymore. My standards have tripled since I started stripping.

    I especially have issues with older men. I can't stand it when I with my friends at a bar and some 40-year-old guy sends me a drink or tries to chat me up. I realize he's just trying to be nice - but at the same time - does he think he really has a chance with a hot, nubile 23 year old? Does he really think I'd have any common interests with him? Does he really think I'd find his bald head and beer belly attractive?

    I'm sick of their cheesy pick up lines, I'm sick of their bad fashion. I'm sick of it all!

    Has anyone noticed that men have trouble taking "no" for an answer. The other day at school a classmate asked me out. "No thanks," I said. "I have a boyfriend."
    He went on to tell me that I should just give him a chance, its worth a try, etc. I'd never even more than a 10 minute conversation with this guy before. So frustrating! No means no, d-bag!

    Also, like Jenny said above, I hate hate hate the patriarchy. But that's a whole different rant.

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    Featured Member amylynnej's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    some men suck. empshasis on some men.
    AmyLynne

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    God/dess virgoamm's Avatar
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    Default Re: Girls, do you begin disliking guys even OUT after working as a dancer?

    I haven't really changed much at all since I've begun dancing-but then again, I was in a 10-year relationship that just went down the toilet a little over a month ago, so I didn't have any contact with other men OTC besides my ex fiancee.

    The one thing I did notice though was not caring much at all about trying to look sexy when I went out to do things because I didn't want men gawking at me like I did before because I got plenty enough of that at the club.

    I'm not sure how I'll feel about it now that I'm single, but honestly, I won't be looking to get into another relatonship for a long, long time. I have to say though, I'm sure dancing will have some kind of impact on how I view men and what their intentions are.

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