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Thread: girls getting mad at me because custy was rude *kinda long*

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    Default girls getting mad at me because custy was rude *kinda long*

    ok, last night was really slow. my friend and i were talking to this guy, who immediately bought us champagne splits and tipped us for our time. for our stage dancing, he gave us each $20. as the girls came around, most didnt even say hi, just pulled out their garter without so much as a smile, and some flat out asked "arent you going to tip me?" in a rude way. i never realized how rude the girls can be! so one girl said "can i have a dollar?" and he gave her one and made a point of giving my friend and i each a $20 in front of her, and she got mad, called him an asshole, blah blah. he ended up taking us to vip, spending a lot of money, coming back down, and then going back into vip again. when we were sitting at the bar, however (we dance and then walk the bar for tips), not a single girl would stop at him for a tip because of what he did to the one girl. yeah, it was rude, but what could my friend and i do? he was giving us money. anyway, the only girl who did stop got a $20 simply because she wasnt being petty like the others. im sorry, but if you cant so much as give a smile, you shouldnt expect a tip. they would come over, bend down, and have attitude. and the girls got mad at us for not doing anything.

    were we in the wrong? i mean, he was giving us plenty of money, so why should we be rude just because he was rude to another girl? yes, we told him it was mean, but i sure as hell wasnt getting up and going away when he was just handing over $20s every few minutes. im sure some of you will disagree with me, but im curious to see what you guys think or what you would do.

  2. #2
    Glamazon
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    Default Re: girls getting mad at me because custy was rude *kinda long*

    I worked once at a club where girls would do the tip walk and approach every single customer after their stage set for a tip. Being fairly new there, I just followed suit, but frequently approached guys who didn't tip. No big deal, right? Well, one night I was sitting with a guy and he didn't want to tip this one girl that came by. Later on, she went off on me about how I was rude and should have *made* him tip her. Sorry, but IMO, if a guy isn't sitting at the tip rail or at the stage, he isn't required to tip. Besides, if a girl is needs other girls to tell custies to tip them and are getting mad over a measley dollar, perhaps they're in the wrong business.

    I don't think you were in the wrong.
    Last edited by Glamazon; 03-29-2007 at 02:07 PM.

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    Veteran Member Jenna78's Avatar
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    Default Re: girls getting mad at me because custy was rude *kinda long*

    I would have done exactly what you did. He wasn't that rude to the girl (he didn't insult her to her face or refuse to tip her entirely) and she was rude to him first. Don't feel bad.

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    Default Re: girls getting mad at me because custy was rude *kinda long*

    I don't think you were rude at all. You are there to make your money and not worry about anyone else.

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: girls getting mad at me because custy was rude *kinda long*

    Nah, you're fine. The other girl was rude, and the customer was under no obligation to tip her, unless your club works very differently from any I've ever known. These girls sound like bad salespeople, honestly. You don't get money from somebody by acting the ass. Congratulations to you for playing it cool and making money. The other girls will get over it.

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    Default Re: girls getting mad at me because custy was rude *kinda long*

    You're good...







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    Default Re: girls getting mad at me because custy was rude *kinda long*

    You did nothing wrong imo I will say that set up sounds crappy though...I hate asking for tips.
    Fools laugh at others. Wisdom laughs at itself...Osho

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: girls getting mad at me because custy was rude *kinda long*

    I wouldn't say you need to be rude, but I look at it like any other workplace or social environment - that is, you don't need to yell at him or tell him off, but there are a myriad of ways to politely and subtly indicate that you disapprove of the behaviour. For example, I discourage customers from making rude commentary about other girls in the club, whether or not they are paying me for dances. I don't turn around and say "Look asshole, shut the fuck up" and that approach has never been needed. Most of the time if you indicate that you like a friendly, nice work environment the guys will acquiesce to that. So yeah, I think you were a little out of line; you should have at least made the effort.

    Plus, you might consider - the general bad will you generate will probably be with you a lot longer than the money and it can cost you later on both in "comfort" at work and cash, because long after everyone has forgotten WHY they don't like you, they might just remember in general that they do.
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    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: girls getting mad at me because custy was rude *kinda long*

    Why are dancers hustling your customer while you are sitting with him? Ignore her, she was the one who was trying to move in on your territory.

    Besides, all she asked for was $1, not a $20. She got exactly what she asked for, so what's her problem?


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    Default Re: girls getting mad at me because custy was rude *kinda long*

    You did NOTHING wrong. Just because other girls have some sort of jealousy issue, doesn't make it your problem and it doesn't mean you're doing anything wrong. Geez, I can't believe they were acting like that! Who DOES that?!
    If you think school is hard, try being stupid.

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    Default Re: girls getting mad at me because custy was rude *kinda long*

    Quote Originally Posted by Paris View Post
    Why are dancers hustling your customer while you are sitting with him? Ignore her, she was the one who was trying to move in on your territory.

    Besides, all she asked for was $1, not a $20. She got exactly what she asked for, so what's her problem?
    Paris is of course correct here.

    Relax, you did nothing wrong at all.

    Time and time again I have dancers bitching to me in the booth, about guys not tipping--only to see the next 5 dancers following them onstage get tipped profusely by the very same guys, and hear from the dancers ahead of them that there wasn't any problem.

    If they don't look as good as you do, and they have a shitty attitude, they don't deserve any more than they got. You are under no obligation whatsoever to help out dancers with shitty attitudes and inferior appearance to your own.

    ...yes, we told him it was mean, but i sure as hell wasnt getting up and going away when he was just handing over $20s every few minutes...
    Furthermore, you did try and encourage him to be polite, from the sounds of it--and with some customers, that might have meant risking your own gravy train. You did more than enough.

    There are always going to be dancers with bad attitudes in any club situation (if the club is well-run there won't be many, though), and they will often hold a grudge against you--for no apparent reason other than that you are more attractive and pleasant than they are, and probably make more than they do on any given night. That's their problem, not yours.
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    Default Re: girls getting mad at me because custy was rude *kinda long*

    Quote Originally Posted by Jenny View Post
    Plus, you might consider - the general bad will you generate will probably be with you a lot longer than the money and it can cost you later on both in "comfort" at work and cash, because long after everyone has forgotten WHY they don't like you, they might just remember in general that they do.
    that;s what the girls think. i DO NOT agree. but that seems to be the girls' i work with pov. jenny, no offense. but i dont see that as being a problem. i'm there for the money, not other girls. im sorry, but money is my motivation. not people liking me.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: girls getting mad at me because custy was rude *kinda long*

    Quote Originally Posted by britt244 View Post
    that;s what the girls think. i DO NOT agree. but that seems to be the girls' i work with pov. jenny, no offense. but i dont see that as being a problem. i'm there for the money, not other girls. im sorry, but money is my motivation. not people liking me.
    No offence taken - that's what we're all there for. But what exactly do you disagree with? That when girls don't like you they will not go out of their way to help you? That every time they could encourage their customer to tip you, they might instead act very engrossed in a conversation so that the customer doesn't really notice you? That when a guys buys a champagne room for his friend it could go to someone else, even if you've been working said friend? That when a guy wants a duo and tells a girl to get you she won't say "Actually, my usual duo partner/best friend/lover/whatever is that girls over there... why don't I get her instead?" That whenever a customer says to a girl that you are really hot and just his type she just might not bother telling you about it? There is nothing to disagree with, honey, this will cost you. If you seriously believe that you are an island because you are so hot - well, that is just sheer hybris.

    In terms of goodwill; whenever you might ask a girl to trade spots with you onstage, she can refuse. Whenever you need to borrow a tampon, nobody might have one. When you have lipstick on your teeth, nobody might say. If you have toilet paper stuck to your shoe, nobody might mention it. Again, if you seriously think that you can avoid all possible times when other girls might be non-pecuniarily helpful to you... hybris.

    There are some unavoidable conflicts that you just have to navigate. I don't personally think this was one of them. I think you could have both kept your customer spending money AND not pissed everyone off simply by making clear that you are not impressed with him being rude to other dancers. In my experience a semi-lighthearted "You do realize that I work with these people, right?" will do the trick. Just... for crying out loud, discourage customers from being rude to other dancers. To me that actually seems pretty intuitive.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: girls getting mad at me because custy was rude *kinda long*

    ^I think you're right on point, Jenny, EXCEPT, I don't really grasp what the customer did that was so rude, other than not give the other dancers large sums of money for not doing anything in particular.

    If it's a club where a tip-walk is the norm and every customer is supposed to tip every dancer, then the OP could have mentioned this to the customer and encouraged him to tip. This is the kind of move that builds goodwill and collegiality. On the other hand, it kinda sounds like the customer was spending big and other girls got wind of it and started flocking over and demanding money. I've been in similar situations -- I'm sure most of us have -- and it's incredibly annoying.

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    God/dess Jenny's Avatar
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    Default Re: girls getting mad at me because custy was rude *kinda long*

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    ^I think you're right on point, Jenny, EXCEPT, I don't really grasp what the customer did that was so rude, other than not give the other dancers large sums of money for not doing anything in particular.
    I agree - I don't see what is so bad about giving the girls he is sitting with a larger tip than the girls doing the proverbial tip walk. However, the OP seemed satisfied that something rude was going on, so I was assuming that there was an intangible involved. His attitude, something he said, or something like that.
    I have taught that the sky in all its zones is mortal and its substance was formed by a process of birth

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    Default Re: girls getting mad at me because custy was rude *kinda long*

    haha, yeah, that's it, i was satisfied. seriously. that's EXACTLY what i said.

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    Default Re: girls getting mad at me because custy was rude *kinda long*

    That girl that got the dollar was overreacting. She needs to get some thicker skin if shes going to continue in this business. You and your friend were sitting with him so its only fair you get a bigger tip, thats how it works. And its definetly dumb that the other girls are pissed at you for that. You cant control what a customer does and you needed to make money, Im sure they would have all done the same damn thing if they were in the same situation.

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    Default Re: girls getting mad at me because custy was rude *kinda long*

    you did nothing wrong, believe me. to me, when you're at work, you're at work to make money...not friends. no matter how much i like or dislike people at work, i try not to let it affect my earnings. (i don't know if you noticed the two days that i worked where you do, but i mainly keep to myself).

    but yeah, if a friend outside of the club were to act that way, then i'd be upset. for example, if someone i was dating was clearly being an asshole to me, and my bestfriend knew about it...and then was still nice to him like nothing happened, i might be hurt. but business is business lol

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