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Thread: Stroking of the ego

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    Featured Member 21stcenturyfox's Avatar
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    Stroking of the ego

    It has come to my attention that I probably dont make much money from this job because I dont stroke egos.

    It is not in my nature to stroke a man's ego. I am a bit of a Female Supremacist but I can see how I need to make a change if Im going to make money. But the thing is, Im afraid Ill burst out laughing at my own rediculousness when trying to stroke someone's ego!

    I dont even think I know how, or what to say. And really, do they guys buy it? Surely they know Im just doing it for the money? Thats why I dont do it, I figure theyll know Im lying to them.

    But then I guess you want the kind of guys who will buy into the fake, "im so happy you walked into my life and youre just the most amazing man ive ever had the pleasure of meeting" bullshit.

    I think I also need to get over whats in my nature and what I am all about. I need to remove who I am from the club. But this is my biggest obstacle. I LIKE to show that im intelligent, probably because I dont have a tertiary education and am still intelligent and well read anyway. I like to be seen as classy and sophisticated and sexy. But I am TIRED of constantly getting the "I want you as a girlfriend not a stripper" comments. Im tired of being too girlfriend material and not enough stripper material.

    I dont know, I think I need to work hard at looking really slutty and putting on a fake foreign accent so I dont have to say much since I "no speeky english".

    hmmm...
    "Sex is currency. What's the use of being beautiful if you can't profit from it?" - Lily St Cyr (40's burlesque dancer)

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    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stroking of the ego

    Yes u need to do some ego stroking. They do believe it because they want to believe it.

    You dont have to go over the top and tell the ugliest guy u have ever seen that he looks like brad pitt. The best way is to pick something out that u can actually be honest about - I am into fashion and I always compliment people on good fashion pieces inside and outside of work. I always notice nice shoes etc.

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    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stroking of the ego

    "you deserve to pamper yourself, don't you?" (what guy says no???) and this works when talking abotu VIP.

    "most guys i just dont connect with on this level!" (really, what do you mean?) "well, most guys i meet in here are just boring, but you have real personality! i just KNOW we're going to have fun!"

    Love it!

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    Senior Member BaileyBanksNBiddle's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stroking of the ego

    Just little compliments if they have somewhat of a nice chest (even if BARELY) unbutton their shirt a lil and say "mmm you have such a nice chest..." Honestly just have that look in your eye and on your face like your enjoying yourself sexually... breathe in their ear on their neck...If it looks like your enjoying yourself so will they...Then really theirs no need for talking! :-P
    "Here’s to the woman in the high heeled shoes. She smokes the men’s cigarettes and drinks all their booze! When she kisses, she kisses so sweet, she makes things stand that have no feet! She has lost her cherry but that’s no sin cause’ she still has the box the cherry came in!"

  5. #5
    Picaresque
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    Default Re: Stroking of the ego

    Maybe I'm weird, but I make LESS money when I ego-stroke. I don't even lay it on thick, but guys seem to get this "oh yeah, she wants me bad, I'll just work her hard for as little $$ as possible" attitude when I ego-stroke. When I act more like it's a treat that I'm allowing them to dance with me, and intimidate them a little, and only occasionally throw them a bone in the form of a tiny compliment or a sexy wink to string them along, that's when I make $$. Go figure.

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    Default Re: Stroking of the ego

    Quote Originally Posted by 21stcenturyfox View Post
    It has come to my attention that I probably dont make much money from this job because I dont stroke egos...But the thing is, Im afraid Ill burst out laughing at my own rediculousness when trying to stroke someone's ego!

    I dont even think I know how, or what to say. And really, do they guys buy it? Surely they know Im just doing it for the money? Thats why I dont do it, I figure theyll know Im lying to them.
    Sure we know you're doing it for money, but somwhere in the dark recesses of our soul lives the hope that maybe (just maybe) we might be the one guy in a thousand that you like and might even meet outside the club.

    Never underestimate the power of this illusion - it's what gets us buying dances so we can spend more time with you and make more "progress".

    Quote Originally Posted by 21stcenturyfox View Post
    I think I also need to get over whats in my nature and what I am all about. I need to remove who I am from the club. But this is my biggest obstacle. I LIKE to show that im intelligent, probably because I dont have a tertiary education and am still intelligent and well read anyway. I like to be seen as classy and sophisticated and sexy.
    Repeat after me - I am an actress playing a part.

    Why do you have to show you're intelligent and well read? The only people you have to make a good impression on are your friends outside the club.

    Are you going to see any of your customers outside the club? Nope. Then why worry about what they think of you?

    You have a dancer persona called 20th Century Fox. She's your alter ego and can behave as diferently as she likes in the club. What 20th Century Fox has to do is behave in the way that gets customers spending money on her.

    If that means behaving differently than the real you - so what? You're only playing a part.

    Most guys who come into the club want to make a "connection" with you and being reminded that you're brighter and more erudite than them isn't going to get them to spend money on you.

    Going back to the actress analogy - actresses play many roles. In each of them they try and portray someone different. That's you - trying to be what every customer (within limits) wants you to be. If you match their illusion of what a dancer should be, they'll spend money on you.

    When you go up to any potential customer think, "who's this guy looking to meet and how can I be her?" Don't look on it as stroking their ego - look on it as a game you play to maximise your income. Play the game right and you walk out the club with good earnings. Get the game wrong and you don't - but that just means you have to look for different strategies for the next night.

    Quote Originally Posted by 21stcenturyfox View Post
    But I am TIRED of constantly getting the "I want you as a girlfriend not a stripper" comments. I'm tired of being too girlfriend material and not enough stripper material.
    It's a fact of life I'm afraid - you're a captive audience who has to be polite.

    Out in the real world, they've got no hope of approaching you, but in the very artificial environment that is a strip club they can talk to you - and in the very artifical environment that is a strip club you have to make out you like them.

    Lemme see, how does it go?

    "Do you have a boyfriend?"
    "What time do you finish?"
    "Can I have your phone number?"

    I don't know a dancer that isn't plagued and pissed off by those questions. Goes with the territory I'm afraid.

    Just gently suggest that such questions are better pursued when they've brought a few lap dances. (Then a few more, then a few more...)

    Phil.

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    Featured Member xoxoGracexoxo's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stroking of the ego

    Stroking the ego doesn't have to involve overt flattery and verbal compliments (although it can, and sometimes overt flattery works wonders.) Most people find it plenty flattering just to have a hot girl pay friendly attention to them for a while.

    When I sit with a customer, I have eyes for no one else in the room. I listen to everything he says, and find it brilliant and amusing. (Well, I try ) I admire whatever is nicest about him. When I dance for him, I pay close attention to what he likes, and adjust the dance accordingly. I read in a book about body language that men find it flattering to be looked over from head to toe, so I always do this in a subtle way. Basically, any form of flirtation is flattering, because it's saying to them that you like them enough to flirt with them.

    I genuinely do try to make connections, however brief and superficial, with my customers. I look for what I really do like about them, so I actually am enjoying their company rather than just pretending. Usually, the more *I* like a customer, the more money he will give me in the end.

    And yes, sometimes you have to dance for someone you really don't enjoy at all, and then you have to call on your acting skills. But since you've got all that experience with customer you *did* enjoy dancing for, you can make it a much more convincing act.

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    Veteran Member Snowles's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stroking of the ego

    I find I don't need my ego stroked...odd, being a singer and all. I think it's my warped sense of humor...I'm very self-deprecating at times, all for a good laugh. I just like a little bit of company, a little friendly chit-chat, and I'm good to go for a dance...or 5. But hey, that's just me.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bob_Loblaw View Post
    As a side note, I'd love to be able to order a naked, writhing slut muffin from Tim Horton's.

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    Default Re: Stroking of the ego

    I'm always afraid of coming off as really fake. I'm not a good liar when it comes to complimenting people. I'm that girl that people come to when they want a brutally honest opinion.

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    Veteran Member casaubon1's Avatar
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    Default Re: Stroking of the ego

    Quote Originally Posted by xoxoGracexoxo View Post
    Stroking the ego doesn't have to involve overt flattery and verbal compliments (although it can, and sometimes overt flattery works wonders.) Most people find it plenty flattering just to have a hot girl pay friendly attention to them for a while.

    When I sit with a customer, I have eyes for no one else in the room.
    I think Grace has nailed it, at least for this middle-aged professional-type customer. Don't invent a fake connection. Find a real connection, if you can, and amplify it.

    Don't tell me I am hot, or pretend that I am exciting. I am neither. What I am is tired, having just spent a day in meetings and 3 hours entertaining a client at dinner, and willing to pay some cash to have a pretty, intelligent woman focus on me for a while. Don't tell me you want to see me outside the club. You are either lying or looking for a sugar daddy, and I don't like either idea. Just be entertaining. Paying attention, laughing, taking my mind off work -- that fuels my ego plenty, sends me off to the hotel happy, and I'll make it worth your time.

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