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Thread: Walmart

  1. #1
    Kaylinn
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    Default Walmart

    I love to go to walmart after work and browse. Its my way of unwinding. I take my time, look at everything, maybe buy a few things here and there...

    I was listening to the radio the other day, and they were naming the best places in Vegas to pick up strippers. #1 on their list?
    The walmart I go to.

    Well, fuck. Now where am I gonna go?

    So Im in Walmart tonight, checking out the makeup, and this boy walks up to me. Pants around his knees, seriously, I thought thoes boys always held their dicks cause they wanted to make sure it was stil there, but after tonight, I realized they just gotta do that to keep their pants up.
    Anyway...he was about 18, terrible acne, greasy face, pants belted around his thighs, a white fruit of the loom teeshirt that hung to his knees....
    He walks up to me and says hi. I say, Can I help you?
    He says, I want your number, yo.

    I bust out laughing! I mean, the fact that he was so young, so unattractive, and so rude about it. Couldnt say, Hi, I think your beautiful, maybe I coudl call you? Nooo...His master pick up line is, I want your number, yo. Cocky bastard. I said, no thanks.
    He says, well, why not?
    Cause I dont want to.
    But why not?
    Look, Im just trying to shop, please leave me alone.
    So as he walks away......I hear, fuckin bitch. She shot me down.
    where do boys these days learn their manners and pick up skills?

    And where can I shop after work at 5am uninterrupted?

  2. #2
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: Walmart

    OMG, another priceless Kaylinn moment!

  3. #3
    High_Heel_Lover
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    Default Re: Walmart

    Yeah that screams winner! lol

  4. #4
    God/dess jaizaine's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walmart

    LMAO what a loser!

  5. #5
    God/dess DancerWealth's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walmart

    Ugh. Back in January I was eating lunch with a friend at the Applebees at Rainbow and Spring Mountain. We were talking about the Super Bowl and such and so I started to jones for a football so we walked over to the adjacent WalMart (not sure if it was the same one you went to or not). I'm in the sporting goods section and this woman, about mid-20s was looking at some camping equipment. So this dufus walks up to her, pretty much exactly the way you describe your dufus encounter (wife-beater, huge baggy jeans hanging around his knees). His big pick-up line? "Yooooooo...you like totally hot! Wanna give me your numba?"

    I literally laughed out loud when he said this and the woman started laughing too so the guy turns around and says, "Tsk......what evah!" Too funny.

    The ORIGINAL Stripper Sales School
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    Things may come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. ~Abraham Lincoln

  6. #6
    Featured Member cameronfl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walmart

    You didnt want some of THAT???

    I swear I want to get cards made up to just hand guys like this:

    I do not want to go out with you
    i do not want to have sex with you
    i do not want to give you my number
    I dont want no scrubs

    For one or any combination of the following reasons:
    You are too young
    you are too ugly
    you are too old
    you are too ghetto
    your pants are more than 1 size too big and worn around your ass cheeks
    you used any of these words in your pick up line: yo, guuurl,whaaaas uuuupppp,you tight, you thick, etc...
    you dont look like you have a job
    you dont look like you have a job that is legal

    I am JUST NOT INTERESTED

    and I dont even care enough to tell you...just read this

    If you try again after reading this you will be issued your retard helmet and placd on the short bus to go home.

    Thank you
    Good Bye
    People always ask me, did I ever learn anything when I was a stripper? Yeah, I did. One man plus two beers equals 20 dollars.
    -- Anna Nicole Smith

    Myspace is an obsession...much like Stripperweb...
    http://www.myspace.com/cameronkeys (real myspace)

    http://www.myspace.com/sexyhotdancer(work myspace)


    Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

  7. #7
    God/dess
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    Default Re: Walmart

    Haha I hate that fucking saggy ass pants look. I'm always tempted to step on them and make them fall.

  8. #8
    Veteran Member redvelvetrose's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walmart

    LOL. Don't you just love geniuses like that? I once had some high schoolers at the mall follow me into Victorias Secret and then proceed to tell me that their friend likes me. Classy.

  9. #9
    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walmart

    Oooh Cameron will you make me some too???
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

  10. #10
    Featured Member hannah83's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walmart

    LOL that guy is probably still wondering why you didn't want him.

    and Cameron, I need some of those cards too!!
    There's a wild side behind every innocent face.

    End violence against women.
    I support Dottie.


  11. #11
    Banned gingerlee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walmart

    Quote Originally Posted by cameronfl View Post
    You didnt want some of THAT???

    I swear I want to get cards made up to just hand guys like this:

    I do not want to go out with you
    i do not want to have sex with you
    i do not want to give you my number
    I dont want no scrubs

    For one or any combination of the following reasons:
    You are too young
    you are too ugly
    you are too old
    you are too ghetto
    your pants are more than 1 size too big and worn around your ass cheeks
    you used any of these words in your pick up line: yo, guuurl,whaaaas uuuupppp,you tight, you thick, etc...
    you dont look like you have a job
    you dont look like you have a job that is legal

    I am JUST NOT INTERESTED

    and I dont even care enough to tell you...just read this

    If you try again after reading this you will be issued your retard helmet and placd on the short bus to go home.

    Thank you
    Good Bye
    I would SO go to Fedex-Kinkos and have those printed. They are friggin' perfect.

  12. #12
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walmart

    Quote Originally Posted by sc0101 View Post
    Haha I hate that fucking saggy ass pants look. I'm always tempted to step on them and make them fall.
    I always want to just rip them right down, LOL--not because I want to see what's under there--fuck, you can already see every detail of their fucking boxers anyway, what's the difference? but so they will trip over their fucking pants around their ankles and fall down--the only way they could possibly look more stupid.

    When, oh when, will this style ever END? It has to be the dumbest fad ever--except maybe the one pants leg rolled up. No, it's still dumber.

    Some guy walked in the club like that with two friends friday. One of them was wearing sunglasses, of course--at midnight it's really bright in Key West, you know. The DJ booth is unfortunately right next to the door (the WORST location for a DJ booth, ever!), so I see almost everyone who walks in. I couldn't help it, I started laughing really loud--I'm sure they heard me.


    Oh, and the pickup lines--classic. Unfortunately, those lines often work on the Daytona women, lol! You see these guys all over that town "Yo, whassup, dog?"
    Last edited by Djoser; 04-01-2007 at 01:40 PM.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  13. #13
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    Default Re: Walmart

    ^^ Man this is nearly as bad as the kirs kross thing wearing pants backwards...

    LOL Walmart strippers, hehehehehe -In bevis and buthead style laughter.
    One more cup of coffee for the road,
    One more cup of coffee 'fore I go
    To the valley below....

    Slowly moseying my way to the exit.
    A Blogging?

  14. #14
    Featured Member cameronfl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walmart

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser View Post
    I always want to just rip them right down, LOL--
    Done that. When the guy turned around all "what the fuck???" I said calmly..it's wjat you were waiting for right? I mean they were already all the way down your ass....

    his friends laughed at him..then pulled their pants up.
    People always ask me, did I ever learn anything when I was a stripper? Yeah, I did. One man plus two beers equals 20 dollars.
    -- Anna Nicole Smith

    Myspace is an obsession...much like Stripperweb...
    http://www.myspace.com/cameronkeys (real myspace)

    http://www.myspace.com/sexyhotdancer(work myspace)


    Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

  15. #15
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walmart

    Quote Originally Posted by cameronfl View Post
    Done that. When the guy turned around all "what the fuck???" I said calmly..it's wjat you were waiting for right? I mean they were already all the way down your ass....

    his friends laughed at him..then pulled their pants up.
    You just made my day...

    Actually, that's three times now--'Fuck a whole lot of that', "paragraphs are your friend', and now this!
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  16. #16
    God/dess Casual Observer's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walmart

    where do boys these days learn their manners and pick up skills?
    Gangsta rap videos? Buddy movies? Amateur porn?

    On the matter of dress, I may be a complete square or really just fortunate, but I never seem to have a great deal of trouble finding pants that actually fit my waist and legs like pants, rather than dresses. Perhaps they just haven't shopped the right stores...
    Idealism is fine, but as it approaches reality, the costs become prohibitive.

    William F. Buckley, Jr.

  17. #17
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    Default Re: Walmart

    Cameron, thanks for the major laugh. Can you make T-shirts, too?

    Now the guys at Whole Foods, they have game. Seriously.

    Wal-Mart is gross and depressing no matter what. Boycott it!

  18. #18
    God/dess Chrissy68's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walmart

    cameron that is CLASSIC.. please make me up some of those cards too.

    and ill agree, whole foods guys, they actually speak correctly when trying to pick you up.

    Love it!

  19. #19
    Featured Member cameronfl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walmart

    Ok I'm going to start my own business...I'll make the cards to gve out, t-shirts, bumper stickers and car door magnets(for the fucks that think they can pick you up going 90 miles an hour on I95)...hell I should have an army of hot girls walking around selling cards like the deaf guys do(ever get that..the little cards saying he's a deaf-mute and please donate to him?) excpet our cards will say "I'm really hot and just want your money"

    Fuck..I'd give her money....just to have the story to tell if nothing else!

    hmmm....I'm on to something here...who wants to work for me???
    People always ask me, did I ever learn anything when I was a stripper? Yeah, I did. One man plus two beers equals 20 dollars.
    -- Anna Nicole Smith

    Myspace is an obsession...much like Stripperweb...
    http://www.myspace.com/cameronkeys (real myspace)

    http://www.myspace.com/sexyhotdancer(work myspace)


    Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

  20. #20
    Banned gingerlee's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walmart

    I'll work for ya Cam! I'll be down in a couple weeks, so start printing things....

  21. #21
    Veteran Member idreamofaislin's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walmart

    ^ I'm in!

    And whenever anyone complains about the pants around the knees thing, I'm reminded of something Larry the Cable Guy said.
    "When I saw these kids walking around with their pants around their knees, I thought a rapper had died and they were wearing their pants a half mast!"

  22. #22
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walmart

    Quote Originally Posted by cameronfl View Post
    Ok I'm going to start my own business...I'll make the cards to gve out, t-shirts, bumper stickers and car door magnets(for the fucks that think they can pick you up going 90 miles an hour on I95)...

    hmmm....I'm on to something here...who wants to work for me???
    Sounds great! But how could we ever get anything done? We'd be rolling around on the floor laughing non-stop...

    you are on a roll, though.

    Hey, too bad you didn't have one of those cards that first night I met you when the guy kept trying to show you his dick, lol.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  23. #23
    Featured Member cameronfl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walmart

    Quote Originally Posted by Djoser View Post
    Sounds great! But how could we ever get anything done? We'd be rolling around on the floor laughing non-stop...

    you are on a roll, though.

    Hey, too bad you didn't have one of those cards that first night I met you when the guy kept trying to show you his dick, lol.
    LOL...I had my fun with teeney-peeney man. I just find it infinately funny that after i had berated and belittled him for 20 minutes and left...he came and found me to get dances from me!!


    I'm liking the army of hotties thing...Pussy Patrol! I could have the hotness cards printed..girls could buy boxes of them at a st price...then just hand them out for whatever they want to charge for them while they are all hootchi-mama-ed out at the clubs!! NO schedule..work whenever you're already out...Sweet.....Fortune 500 here i come...


    Ginger...Pm me when you'll be here and where you'll be and I'll try to get out to see you!
    People always ask me, did I ever learn anything when I was a stripper? Yeah, I did. One man plus two beers equals 20 dollars.
    -- Anna Nicole Smith

    Myspace is an obsession...much like Stripperweb...
    http://www.myspace.com/cameronkeys (real myspace)

    http://www.myspace.com/sexyhotdancer(work myspace)


    Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

  24. #24
    Moderator Djoser's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walmart

    Yeah, you should definitely play off the deaf/mute card thing.

    "Hi, I'm a hot girl struggling to train myself, in spite of my handicap, for future employment so I can adapt to society, feed and cloth myself, and have a normal life.

    Won't you help me?"

    And the woman should stand there with a big hopeful expectant smile on her face, not saying a word.

    Unless you thought it would sound too much like a put down to the handicapped, of course. No offense to anyone intended!

    Your original idea is probably better, but you could always do both.
    You must have chaos within you to give birth to a dancing star.
    Friedrich Nietzsche

    Free your mind, and your ass will follow.
    George Clinton

    ______________________________________

  25. #25
    Featured Member cameronfl's Avatar
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    Default Re: Walmart

    I could totally do both. I'm doin' it....totally...

    (i'm having a "mean girls" moment...i want an army of skanks!!!)
    People always ask me, did I ever learn anything when I was a stripper? Yeah, I did. One man plus two beers equals 20 dollars.
    -- Anna Nicole Smith

    Myspace is an obsession...much like Stripperweb...
    http://www.myspace.com/cameronkeys (real myspace)

    http://www.myspace.com/sexyhotdancer(work myspace)


    Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

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