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Thread: friend in trouble-do i help?

  1. #1
    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
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    Default friend in trouble-do i help?

    so my lease is up may 30-31st. By then I hope to be mostly moved into my new 2 bedroom, one office townhouse with my husband, two dogs and cat. And for those who dont know, I am pregnant and due in september. so a baby soon after.

    my roomie and best friend on the other hand is seriously in debt, both to me and creditors etc. Im not sure that she will be able to afford her own place. dont know if this is relevent, but she is stripping right now and not doing to well at it.

    Question is do my husband and I offer to help her out and let her and her dog and cat (that would put pets at 3 dogs and 2 cats) move in with us for a while until she figures something out? She is diligently working on paying me back but still owes about a grand to me. but she is my best friend.
    i just dont know...
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

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    God/dess Mr Hyde's Avatar
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    Default Re: friend in trouble-do i help?

    Quote Originally Posted by papillonluvr View Post
    so my lease is up may 30-31st. By then I hope to be mostly moved into my new 2 bedroom, one office townhouse with my husband, two dogs and cat. And for those who dont know, I am pregnant and due in september. so a baby soon after.

    my roomie and best friend on the other hand is seriously in debt, both to me and creditors etc. Im not sure that she will be able to afford her own place. dont know if this is relevent, but she is stripping right now and not doing to well at it.

    Question is do my husband and I offer to help her out and let her and her dog and cat (that would put pets at 3 dogs and 2 cats) move in with us for a while until she figures something out? She is diligently working on paying me back but still owes about a grand to me. but she is my best friend.
    i just dont know...
    oh man...sure, but only if you're prepared for her to not move out anytime soon.

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    Veteran Member BmiWMT14's Avatar
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    Default Re: friend in trouble-do i help?

    Thats a tough one, but with the stress of a move, and a baby on the way do you really need the added stress of her and her pets? This is one of those times where maybe not letting her move in might be more helpful then allowing her to do so. Sounds like you have bailed her out before, and at some point she will have to learn to get it done with out your help!

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    God/dess krchab99's Avatar
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    Default Re: friend in trouble-do i help?

    my first thought was to say let her work it out herself and don't help but you said she is working to pay you back which is commendable and I can see why you feel in a bind maybe you could work something out where you hire her for cleaning services or something.

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    God/dess sxybrat07's Avatar
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    Default Re: friend in trouble-do i help?

    I wouldn't do it. Friendship and money dont' go well together. If she's already in debt to you 1000, I can't imagine that this would be a good move.
    I believe you Dottie and you have my support

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    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
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    Default Re: friend in trouble-do i help?

    Quote Originally Posted by sxybrat07 View Post
    I wouldn't do it. Friendship and money dont' go well together. If she's already in debt to you 1000, I can't imagine that this would be a good move.
    this is why im so hesitant. but the way i see it, leaving her out in the rain wont help me get my money back either

    i like the idea of cleaning services and such as kinda like a payment for her staying with us. that way she can at least work on saving money to pay me. its a hard call.
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

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    Featured Member cameronfl's Avatar
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    Default Re: friend in trouble-do i help?

    As mentioned...if you are willing to either 1) put a limit on it ( you can live here for 6 months...if you dont have it together by then you'll have to leave) and stick to it possibly causing a demise in the friendship or 2) be ok with her living there indefinately.

    There's no saying how long it will take her to be back on her feet enough to move out. What if the animals dont get along?What if she is a slob and it drives you crazy? What if she eats all the food in the house without chipping in for her share?

    You may think you know her...but a LOT of things come out when you live with someone that you never knew before.

    It's lovely that you are willing to help...but unless she asks..maybe not a great idea to offer. She'll be better off in the long run if she can do everything herself(as hard as it may be) without anyone to have as a crutch.
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    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
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    Default Re: friend in trouble-do i help?

    you make good points cameron, but I have lived with her for a year now since my husbands been deployed. thankfully she isnt a slob-she's cleaner than I am lol. and our pets get along fairly well.
    i like your idea of waiting and seeing if she asks rather than strait up offering.
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

    Confuscius say: "Man who pull bra stap get bust in face"


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    Featured Member cameronfl's Avatar
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    Default Re: friend in trouble-do i help?

    So you are already living together and just debating whether or not to take her with you when you move? Does she think shes going or has she been looking for her own place? Hopefully she doesnt assume that the living arrangements will just automatically continue....that could be awkward
    People always ask me, did I ever learn anything when I was a stripper? Yeah, I did. One man plus two beers equals 20 dollars.
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    Myspace is an obsession...much like Stripperweb...
    http://www.myspace.com/cameronkeys (real myspace)

    http://www.myspace.com/sexyhotdancer(work myspace)


    Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

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    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
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    Default Re: friend in trouble-do i help?

    she's not assuming, just with her credit and finances Im pretty sure by the end of May she wont be able to afford her own place or even qualify to get one.
    Unless she gets someone with a lot of money to pay her bills for her like a sugar daddy. lol
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

    Confuscius say: "Man who pull bra stap get bust in face"


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    Featured Member cameronfl's Avatar
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    Default Re: friend in trouble-do i help?

    Well..as long as you already know what you are getting into (which since you've already been doing it for a year obviously you do!) and if the only other option is her being homeless...then go for it. But i'd def wait for her to bring it up(she may have plans she hasnt told you about yet) and set ground rules. Helping out around the house..helping you get ready for the baby..anything that helps take AWAY stress from you. And a set date that she HAS to be out by.

    Are you charging her rent or anything now? If not I cant imagine how bad shes in debt that after a year of living with you she's still upside down.

    How does hubby feel about it?
    People always ask me, did I ever learn anything when I was a stripper? Yeah, I did. One man plus two beers equals 20 dollars.
    -- Anna Nicole Smith

    Myspace is an obsession...much like Stripperweb...
    http://www.myspace.com/cameronkeys (real myspace)

    http://www.myspace.com/sexyhotdancer(work myspace)


    Just remember...if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.

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    Default Re: friend in trouble-do i help?

    That would be killer nice of you to do, but really you've already helped her out by being her roomie so you're def not cold if you decide you don't wanna. Does she have any local friends/fam? Or maybe you could just help her find a new roomie?

  13. #13
    God/dess papillonluvr's Avatar
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    Default Re: friend in trouble-do i help?

    no family. new roomie is a possibility though. If I could find anyone willing to deal with all her drama too. hmmm...time to make a list
    "You can close your eyes to reality but not to memories -Stainslaw J. Lec

    Confuscius say: "Man who pull bra stap get bust in face"


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    Default Re: friend in trouble-do i help?

    Quote Originally Posted by BmiWMT14 View Post
    Thats a tough one, but with the stress of a move, and a baby on the way do you really need the added stress of her and her pets? This is one of those times where maybe not letting her move in might be more helpful then allowing her to do so. Sounds like you have bailed her out before, and at some point she will have to learn to get it done with out your help!
    Exactly what was on my mind. You are going to be having a baby, you need to think more about yourself and your family than worry so much about her.

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    Default Re: friend in trouble-do i help?

    Oh so along with the crushing debt, there's drama too? Do tell

  16. #16
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: friend in trouble-do i help?

    Im leaning towards no. What breeds of are they though and how well trained are they? Will all of the animals get along together ok or will it be stressful for you?

    You have a baby on the way and unless you know these animals really well its probably best not to have other peoples pets living with you once the baby has arrived.

    Im sure your friend can find other options - surely another share house is an option?
    Obviously this situation is not ideal to you otherwise you wouldnt have asked - be good to yourself at this time in your life, its important!

  17. #17
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: friend in trouble-do i help?

    She's an adult, she has a decent job, and she has drama and debt?

    She needs the reality check of being on her own. If she can't get a lease, she can get an extended stay hotel room for not that much, maybe 400$ a week.

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