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Thread: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

  1. #1
    Lola Rose
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    Default What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    So. Occassionally a guy will totally diss himself, "I'm boring?" "I smell" or w/ev.

    What do they want me to say? They're coincidentally interesting and fun, or clean and fresh, the opposite of their self-degridation.

    This just puts me in such an uncomfortable position, and I cannot figure it out!

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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    Wow...I can't imagine any man openly telling you that they smell.

    That's kind of a bad way to ask for attention.

    Edit: Not that you asked me, really, but I just had to comment on that.

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lola Rose View Post
    So. Occassionally a guy will totally diss himself, "I'm boring?" "I smell" or w/ev.

    What do they want me to say? They're coincidentally interesting and fun, or clean and fresh, the opposite of their self-degridation.

    This just puts me in such an uncomfortable position, and I cannot figure it out!
    That is a lame opening. Some guys are so intimidated by strippers they figure they have to say something. I suppose that could work if the guy is so obviously nice looking that you would have to figure he's cool for making fun of himself. But for most of the workaday customers all it would do is get you to start sniffing or trying to figure out his warts. A risky strategy on his part IMO. I'm more inclined to say "Hey I'm FBR...nice to meet you...whatcha drinking?" My strategy is to get you drunk in the hopes of loosining up your boundaries

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

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    Veteran Member Snowles's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    Well, I can't answer for sure, but now you know how guys feel when we get one of those trick questions that starts (usually) with a "do you think..."

    ex. Do you think these jeans make my ass look big, etc.

    Honestly, I think they need some sort of affirmation, they want to hear someone say something positive about them. And to have it come from someone as gorgeous as you...well, that's just icing on the cake.

    Them's just my thoughts.
    Quote Originally Posted by Bob_Loblaw View Post
    As a side note, I'd love to be able to order a naked, writhing slut muffin from Tim Horton's.

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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    Depends upon the context of how he says it, I guess. Personally, I grew up on Monty Python and see nothing as off limits for humor (including myself). Do I sometimes say things that cut myself down? Sure, but they are said with a mischievous smile and meant for the sake of humor. I am not shy, nor do I lack self-esteem.

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    God/dess FBR's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    Quote Originally Posted by crizgolfer View Post
    Depends upon the context of how he says it, I guess. Personally, I grew up on Monty Python and see nothing as off limits for humor (including myself). Do I sometimes say things that cut myself down? Sure, but they are said with a mischievous smile and meant for the sake of humor. I am not shy, nor do I lack self-esteem.
    criz, I agree. I do it too. But it only works if your face is not the mug shot on the picture you have painted.

    FBR
    Once again I have embraced my addiction and have put off the moral dilemma to another day.

  7. #7
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    But what do I say back to them. I don't want to agree of course, but I also don't want to argue. I hate being put in a position like that.

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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    Oh HO, but they WANT you to argue! Hand it back good-naturedly with something like 'Oh yeah, you're as ugly/smelly as I am shy *smirkgiggle*' Even better, just stare at them aghast for a moment and then bust out laughing, like what they just said was utterly absurd. They're just pulling your leg to try and break ice, so go along with the joke one way or another.

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    God/dess shasta's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    Socially inept men are found all over the world at Strip Clubs.

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    Senior Member WoodyLV's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    i think its just trying to get an easy laugh. sometimes ill say im freakishly tall just to exaggerate and make it funny if im squeezed into a chair or something. im not really that tall its kindof a putdown but not really meant that way more of a joke.

    but as mentioned depends on the tone and/or context.

  11. #11
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    People say thet they smell? Lol, Ive not heard that yet in that context anyway! I would laugh if I heard that and make a joke out of it.
    To Mr Boring "Im boring too, tell me whats is your more boring attribute and Ill tell you mine (-:" (make sure you have something!)

    What about the ones who say "A girl like you couldnt possibly be interested in someone like me." That always brings out a FTW feeling in me, I never know what to say.

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    God/dess Silverback's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    "ftw"? /:o
    "He will come in one of the pre-chosen forms. During the rectification of the Vuldrini, the traveler came as a large and moving Torg! Then, during the third reconciliation of the last of the McKetrick supplicants, they chose a new form for him: that of a giant Slor! Many Shuvs and Zuuls knew what it was to be roasted in the depths of the Slor that day, I can tell you!"

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    God/dess Mastridonicus's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    I smell.

    I WANT.

    BONG

    A SHRUBBERY!
    People are not ruled by their memories.

  14. #14
    aussiepunkshocker
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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    ^^^ Oops, lol :-D Thanks, yes I meant WTF!

    I wonder if that was subconcious - I was just replying to someones blog about anarchism, governments etc right before I posted that. (-:

  15. #15
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    Ever be with your boyfriend and say something like, "Damn, I'm fucking obese. I don't know how you stand to look at me"? Why say that? It's because you want him to put his arms around you and say something like, "Shut up, you're beautiful, you're the sexiest woman I've ever seen, you have the most gorgeous breasts and the sexiest ass," etc. They're just fishing, just like we do from time to time.

  16. #16
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    Quote Originally Posted by Yekhefah View Post
    Ever be with your boyfriend and say something like, "Damn, I'm fucking obese. I don't know how you stand to look at me"? Why say that? It's because you want him to put his arms around you and say something like, "Shut up, you're beautiful, you're the sexiest woman I've ever seen, you have the most gorgeous breasts and the sexiest ass," etc. They're just fishing, just like we do from time to time.
    I would never do that!

    WWJD

    What Would Jackie Do?

    Well I'll tell ya one thing, she wouldn't do that!

  17. #17
    Yekhefah
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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    I dunno who Jackie is, and I don't make a habit of it either, but I guarandamntee you that every woman has done that at least twice. It's just one of those things.

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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    Quote Originally Posted by Mastridonicus View Post
    I smell.

    I WANT.

    BONG

    A SHRUBBERY!
    That sounds familiar...

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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lola Rose View Post
    But what do I say back to them. I don't want to agree of course, but I also don't want to argue. I hate being put in a position like that.
    Hard to say. Everyone is different. Try and read beyond what they have said. So much of communication is non-verbal.

    For instance, I am the type of person that likes to laugh and likes to make others laugh. Especially in an environment where I am trying to have fun. If in the flow of conversation I pick up something that I could toss in that would be funny then I will do it. Let's say that comment happens to be a cut on myself, or better yet opens up the opportunity for you to make a good-natured cut on me. For me this is almost a test of the other person. Will they take the opportunity? If they do, then I immediately know that this person will be fun. If they do not, then I know I will have to work a little more to get to that fun side (perhaps they are being cautious).

    On the other hand, if a guy is staring into his drink and mumbling some insult about themselves, well, that takes a completely different meaning. Try and read the person more. Look beyond the words.

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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lola Rose View Post
    So. Occasionally a guy will totally diss himself, "I'm boring?" "I smell" or w/ev.

    What do they want me to say? They're coincidentally interesting and fun, or clean and fresh, the opposite of their self-degridation.

    This just puts me in such an uncomfortable position, and I cannot figure it out!
    Quote Originally Posted by FBR View Post
    That is a lame opening. Some guys are so intimidated by strippers they figure they have to say something.
    FBR
    Quote Originally Posted by shasta View Post
    Socially inept men are found all over the world at Strip Clubs.
    Few of us are 100% comfortable in the first few moments when we open a conversation with a complete stranger.

    There's a further sub-text when we meet an dancer in that we're not only trying to start a conversation with her, we're also deciding whether we want a dance from her, and how to deal with the "want a dance?" question when it appears from over the horizon.

    FBR's right in saying some men are intimidated in dealing with dancers, particularly if they don't regularly go into strip venues.

    Then it's like being a kid in the candy store - the place is full of attractive women, who'll take their clothes off on demand. The taking off of clothes might be routine to the dancer (who does it 4 - 5 days a week) but the non-regular customer might only see it 2 - 3 times a year.

    Outside in the real world 99.9% of women don't take their clothes off on demand, so it takes a mental change of gears to accept that all you have to do is ask.

    Ditto Shasta. Mr Socially Inept comes into a strip venue. In the real world he has trouble striking up conversations with people. In fantasy land up comes Shasta who says "Hi, I'm Shasta, what's your name? John, that's interesting. Where do you come from, John?"

    In cimcumstances like this the mouth can be engaged before the brain gets into gear, so all John can think of saying is "I smell".

    And going back to Lola Rose's original point - some of these guys might not be boring or smell, but maybe (in their preceptions of themselves) they do.

    If we've got low self esteem we often think the worst of ourselves.

    Phil.

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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    Quote Originally Posted by Phil-W View Post
    Outside in the real world 99.9% of women don't take their clothes off on demand...
    If they did we wouldn't need strip clubs. What a world it would be... Excuse me, I have to go to my happy place now...

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    Featured Member evan_essence's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    Hahaha. Ironically, I owe the following answer to the guys who practice pickup artistry and claim that women constantly test guys by throwing unreasonable remarks like this at them.

    One way to think about such a self-deprecating remark from a customer is that it's a "shit test." Don't think about having a logical response to it. It's a customer's test of your ability to forge past it to get close to the guy. He's testing you to see if you'll be sweet to him and not judge him negatively like a lot of other women would. Just find a way to dismiss it, like I don't believe you, and pay him a compliment about something.

    -Ev

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    Veteran Member Jenna78's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    This just happened to me, but with a guy who is my friend in real life. He has a crush on me, and I've recently become single. He made me really uncomfortable the other day by putting himself down repeatedly. I guess he wanted to hear me tell him how wonderful he is? Instead it just made me never want to hang out with him again. Guys are wierd.

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    Veteran Member datchapin's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    Aww, man I am so guilty of this when I'm high. With me I guess it's paranoia. I'll sit down and I can smell myself and be like. "Damn, I smell like fuck!" I don't know what fuck smells like, but that's not the point here. What I expect when I say this is for the chick to lean in smell and say, "God damn you smell like a pound!" or "Naw, baby you smell good!" Depending on the answer I'll make a note of wether I need to hit the RR for cologne or not.

    Whenever I don't feel like divulging to much about myself I'll say I'm a pretty boring guy. Translation, "I am so far gone into my own zone there is no way possible I can make coherent conversation. So I'm begging you to please go on a spiel about your own life so I don't have to think or keep dancing so I don't have to think."

    I do this for the dancers mental health. Seriously, if you were to ask what I was thinking most of the time and I answered honestly it would follow you around for a while. You'll be walking around thinking something like. "That sounded like it made sense, but WTF?! What do sperm and saliva have to do with snowballs?!" then you would end up with an anuirism and die from it like that Lewis Black stand up comedy said. "How did the horse get her to Harvard?" Your brain would blow up and then I couldn't go back and get more dances. So.... maybe I should quit posting when I'm in an altered state of mind.
    The more I see, the less I know, the more I like to let it go! - RHCP

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    God/dess doc-catfish's Avatar
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    Default Re: What do guys want when they diss themselves?

    Quote Originally Posted by Lola Rose View Post
    So. Occassionally a guy will totally diss himself, "I'm boring?" "I smell" or w/ev.
    Some of us have been dissing ourselves for so long, it almost happens on reflex anymore. We really ought to knock it off. Although considering that I make it a habit to shower before hitting the SC, I can honestly say that I've never used the "I smell" line.


    I wish I knew what to tell you what to say to these guys. I can see why its difficult to approach them because they act as though having to pay a woman to act sexy towards them is accepting defeat. Tell them that exciting men are overrated perhaps?

    I agree though that they're looking for an ego boost.
    Former SCJ now in rehab.

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