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Thread: What's wrong with me?

  1. #1
    Senior Member -Stacia-'s Avatar
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    Exclamation What's wrong with me?

    Alright, so I'm 5'6 and rougly 115 lbs. I'm obsessed with my stomach. It makes me cringe when my husband touches my lower tummy and love handles. Sometimes, when I'm feeling fat I actually get mad at him and leave the room when he touches me there. I don't feel uncomfortable stripping or being naked while having sex. In my head, there is a small part of me that knows I'm not really fat but it feels like a bigger, louder voice is calling me a total fat ass. When I go into work, I eat at weird times, for example it's 1:00 and I'm about to eat "dinner" and not eat anything else for the rest of the day so I don't look fat when I go into work. When I get up in the morning I always look at my tummy to see if I look fat and then I'll plan out how much and what I can eat for the day. Last night, for the first time, I actually felt that I ate too much junk food yesterday so I consciously made myself throw up. After I threw up I felt much better. Is this a normal obsession?
    The type of girl you wanna chew all of my bubblegum

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    Default Re: What's wrong with me?

    It's normal to be somewhat body conscious but it is NOT normal to make yourself purge. You sound like you are falling into an eating disorder, and trust me, you don't want that. I'd seriously see a therapist about this.

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    Veteran Member TheLioness's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me?

    I 2nd what sc said, the purging is not healthy behavior. One thing that I hope you realize is with you being 5'6 & 115, when you eat, it's gonna show because you're so thin. I doubt seriously that it's fat. It's more likely just a little bloat, and at your size even the slightest bit of bloating will make you feel fat. I used to do the same thing and would even take gas-x and diuretics before work to get my tummy flat. You need to eat, but try eating non-bloating foods before you go to work. If you can see a difference in your tummy size every day, then it's not fat.

  4. #4
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me?

    It sounds like the beginnings of anorexia and bulimia.

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    Veteran Member Concubine's Avatar
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me?

    I sounds as if you have a distorted body image, if you feel fat at 115lbs and 5'6" then I'd definitely say that your preception of yourself is off. When your distorted preceptions and obsessions interrupt normal functioning it means that there is something wrong. It really doesn't sound as if you are happy and that it has manifested it's way into an eating disorder. If it's possible I would seek help because there is a risk that you may become worse, however the fact that you know that there is something not right is the first step to mental health.

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    Default Re: What's wrong with me?

    Concubine said it best. I wish there was something I could add to urge you to get help, but if you are asking this question, then you know there is a problem already.

  7. #7
    Senior Member -Stacia-'s Avatar
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me?

    Thanks ladies.. I know I've got a problem, and I know I've got an even bigger problem which is that I don't necessarily want help. I actually just threw up again (on purpose) and I don't really think it's that bad if I only do it once a day. I'm debating on whether to tell my mom, who is basically my best friend. I just don't want her to stress out or worry her and I know she'll just try to do something to get me help, but I just don't want help. I know, it doesn't make sense, I've got a problem and I know it isn't normal but I don't want help.

    My husband heard me purging last night and came right out and asked if I'm bulimic, which I don't consider myself to be since I've now only done it twice and I don't binge.. I eat fairly normally. I just told him I didn't feel well but he's not stupid, I think he knows something is up. Should I talk to him tonight about it?
    The type of girl you wanna chew all of my bubblegum

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    Default Re: What's wrong with me?

    Yes, you should. One time a day leads to twice, leads to three, it's a cycle. Don't think you have enough will power to control something like that when you're already in it.

  9. #9
    BrunetteGoddess
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me?

    Stacia, it doesn't matter how little you purge, you're doing it and that's bulimia.

    Even once a day is distructive to your health, teeth enamel, esophagus, etc.

  10. #10
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: What's wrong with me?

    Once a week is bad enough for your teeth, enamel, throat, health, metabolism....

    You need to nip this in the bud. talk to your hubby, and your mother. You need to find a therapist, and maybe a support group as well. 115 is not fat! you have a highly distorted body image, and these things only get worse. Get help ASAP!

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