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Thread: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

  1. #51
    Featured Member teeth_of_the_hydra's Avatar
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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    This is such a weird and exciting thread. It's better than television.

    I concur with Carolina re: Occam's razor. I'd guess that the girl was a liar, but hey, anything is possible.

    The only person I ever knew who was "under the radar" was an illegal immigrant, and he was operating under a stolen identity, so he could drive, buy booze, use a CC and look legit if asked, etc. His tax situation was fucked, though, and clearly he couldn't vote or travel internationally. And of course, he was committing a felony.

  2. #52
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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    My money is on "she's a pathological liar." They can be quite charming and charismatic.

    Any other signs that she might be bipolar or have a mental illness? Have you noticed her taking any pills? Not that I'm encouraging you to be devious or anything, but....You can learn a lot about people by looking in their medicine cabinets or peeking at any prescription drug bottles that might happen to half-fall-out of their purses....

    It could be just what Marina said--she's embarrassed that she lives at home and is so dependent on her parents. And maybe her father is very controlling; maybe he's even abusive. Maybe that's why she feels compelled to tell such outrageous lies....I don't know. With compulsive liars, I think sometimes the truth is stranger than their fictions, but the reason they lie is so that people don't find out the actual truth....But again, it could just be that she feels boring and wants to make herself seem more interesting to her new friend...Still, telling such an elaborate lie to a friend indicates that something is a little wrong in her head...
    "Doc still loved true things, but he knew it was not a general love and it could be a very dangerous mistress." - John Steinbeck, Cannery Row


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  3. #53
    Featured Member Kaiyla's Avatar
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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    ^^ I agree. With a ton of other posts too. I think I'm going to hang tight for the next day or two and then bring it up to her. I soooooo don't like confrontation because I guess that no matter what, there is always that teeny possibility that she might not be lying. Bringing it up again will insult her, but regardless, I just feel like I have to. Our friendship will never be normal if I feel like I am being lied to.

  4. #54
    Veteran Member Hot2Trot's Avatar
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    Arrow Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    Hi Kaiyla.

    Although I respect everyone's opinions, I am going to have to disagree with them. IMHO, I would STAY OUT OF IT !

    Whether her being "invisible" is:

    1 ) True and she's underaged
    2 ) True and she's legally aged
    3 ) True and her family is sane
    4 ) True and her family's schizoid (other) or part of a cult
    5 ) True and her family are really illegal aliens or something
    6 ) False and she's underaged
    7) False and she's legally aged
    8 ) False and her family is sane
    9 ) False and her family's schizoid (other) or part of a cult
    10) False and her family are really illegal aliens or something,

    the point of the matter is that no offense to you, but if it doesn't involve you directly, then it doesn't concern you (you know what I mean, right girl ?) .


  5. #55
    Veteran Member Hot2Trot's Avatar
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    Arrow Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    Quote Originally Posted by northy View Post
    Or maybe she really is off the records.... the truth is sometimes stranger than fiction
    Very good point Northy. Personally, I do not find this so strange at all. Unlikely, but not strange.

    In fact, I have crossed paths with many of these individuals and they are typically well-adjusted and generally more intelligent than the average individual:

    This however is probably more related to the fact that their minds weren't wrung through the public education system or saturated by society into brainwashed acceptance of what the norm "should" be .


  6. #56
    Darcy Foxx
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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    Quote Originally Posted by teeth_of_the_hydra View Post
    This is such a weird and exciting thread. It's better than television.
    heh i agree!

    it's such a bizzare situation. i'm very curious to hear the outcome.

  7. #57
    Lola Rose
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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    Me too! ^^^

  8. #58
    Veteran Member Hot2Trot's Avatar
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    Arrow Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    Okay, let's say that she is telling the truth, as her friend, are you willing to be the one to expose her and violate her belief system? If it is true, then it is not her fault that she has no records, it is her parents'. This is ultimately her problem and if she feels to get it resolved, then she should be the one to do it.

    If she is underage, she is probably just barely underaged (16.5 - 17 years old), in which BCW will let it slide and she'll still have to figure it out. Not to mention you will probably get mixed up in all of this and probably have to give a statement incriminating your friend, who they will consider and treat like a criminal and possibly, a terrorist faction (because it sounds to me as if it's linked to a belief system or something).

    If she's lying, then it still does not affect you directly - they are just crazy or whatever, which is their problem, not yours.

    Consider how you would feel if you shared something in confidence with someone you trust, just to have them violate your trust. That might do more harm than good to your friend who you seem to want to help, reinforcing her father's imposed beliefs that no one can be trusted and putting you in that category to boot.

    Perhaps your trustworthy friendship and example will inspire her to come out of this on her own. Perhaps what she really needs is you as a friend in case anything does come of this because when it does, she's going to need a friend, BADLY.

    If it's true, eventually, it will be found out, and the parents will have no one to blame other than their own bad choices.

    However, if you get involved, they just got caught because of "that nosy witch" .

    Also, remember that you don't really know these people. They could be criminals, cons - You don't know.

    I urge you to consider the fact that your curiosity might be getting the better of you, and that "Curiosity killed the cat" .

    Unfortunately, humans don't have 9 lives.


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    Veteran Member idreamofaislin's Avatar
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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    ^I just wanted to point out that if she is underaged, then the OP is at a HUGE risk since she's on probation.

    *shrug* Can't stay out of it if she's already in it!

  10. #60
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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    omg I NEED UPDATES!! And YES! this is waaay better than tv.

    My mind is beginning to concoct some very strange scenarios ... particularly after seeing the words 'illegal alien' so much .. what if she's an alien from outerspace?! I'm joking of course, but this is so insane. There are many good points to consider from posts in this thread, and I'm losing sight of my original ground. I don't know what to think (and I LOVE things that challenge my status quo!).

  11. #61
    God/dess threlayer's Avatar
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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    Can she go to classes without signing up and revealing some info she won't release to you?

    Maybe her Dad doesn't want to sign her up as a tax deduction. for fear it might put him in a higher tax bracket.
    I loved going to strip clubs; I actually made some friends there. Now things are different for the clubs and for me. As a result I am not as happy.

    Customers are not entitled to grope, disrespect, or rob strippers. This is their job, not their hobby, and they all need income. Clubs are not just some erotic show for guys to view while drinking.

    NOTE: anything I post here, outside of a direct quote, is my opinion only, which I am entitled to. Take it for what you estimate it is worth.

  12. #62
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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    It she is telling the truth, I find it so sad. We NEED our identidies. Please keep us updated!!!!!

  13. #63
    Banned Katrine's Avatar
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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    I call pathological liar. I've know way too many. Sadly, I've met several strippers that appeared to be pathological liars. And they didn't seem to still be in their "zone" with me like a customer. I truly think they believed their own bullshit.

    "Have you ever been to American wedding? Where is the vodka, where's marinated herring?" - GB
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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    A really good book that helps you investigate people, places, and things.

  15. #65
    Featured Member Kaiyla's Avatar
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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    I assure you all, I will be providing updates if I find anything out

    Spoke with her briefly today, or texted rather. She wanted to get together but I just felt like staying in and being a bum...kind of. I mean, I found all this stuff out two nights ago and I have honestly been hesitant to get together with her again even just to hang. I don't want to drop her as a friend since I truly feel I don't know enough to, but at the same time I really cannot afford to emotionally invest myself in another relationship where I am lied to by a friend. I have been lied to, backstabbed, slandered, and stolen from in past relationships with women. It is so frustrating that I may be on the verge of being put through this again. I refuse to be, but I feel like I still need to find out more before/if I end the friendship.

    I've been through so many shady friendships during my time as a dancer and it has caused pain I seriously would nerver choose to re-live. Catch 22 here.

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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    I was wondering about this thread. Did you ever find out the truth?????????

  17. #67
    Banned gingerlee's Avatar
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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    Quote Originally Posted by Lola Rose View Post

    lol. one time recently, I told a custy I was a world famous porn star! I told him to go home and google me! I said my name is Ginger Lee! lol. We look nothing alike! And se was booked to feature in a whole nother state at the time!
    We're both blonde, does that count for anything? No seriously, did you do that, because if you did, it's pretty damn funny!

  18. #68
    God/dess Vyanka's Avatar
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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    Wow, this is really something. I'm curious about the out come as well.

  19. #69
    God/dess Paris's Avatar
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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    Quote Originally Posted by Kaiyla View Post
    Another thing to add: she wants to be an actress and has had a small part in a film. She received her SAG card from this. For anyone who knows anything about the acting world, if she has obtained a SAG card, doesn't that mean she had to present some sort of proof of who she is?

    I feel so...ughhh frustrated and actually a little bit angry
    She has a social security number, at the very least, and likely she has a state issued ID as well. Being a SAG member is like belonging to any other union, and there are basic minimum requirements before one can become a member, and being legally able to work in the US is one of the requirements.

    After you posted this, my guess is that she either has a fear of driving or a medical condition that prevents her from driving and is ashamed of her condition.

    Or, as you first thought, she is really younger than she is representing herself to be. This sounds like something a kid might try and pull.


    Promote yourself and earn more money! This is a business that is owned by strippers for strippers. Let's make that money!


  20. #70
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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    ^ agreed! She slipped up with the SAG card. To obtain a SAG card some form of identification would have had to have been presented.

    I am close friends with somebody who was/is a pathological liar. She hurt me very very very much and her lies really put such a strain on our friendship, but like you I couldn't ditch her as I have known her since we were 7 and love her very much. Anyways she once told me a serious lie which got out of hand and affected me in a really bad way. Eventually I found out that she was lying but didn't have the guts to confront her. I became very distant and we parted friends for 2 years. Eventually we rekindled our friendship and she came clean to me with what she had done (even though I knew the truth and she knew that I knew) she was distraught and admitted that she needed help. Anyway she sought help and is much better now.. she still tells little fibs here and there and our friendship isn't the same even though we are still quite close.

    It is an illness. My friend, like your friend would feel ashamed or embarrassed about something so small like being too young to drive (using your example) so she would lie to cover up but then the lie would just grow and grow until she couldn't stop! She told me that sometimes she would lie just for the sake of lying that she couldn't help herself.

    I think your friend is sick and probably needs help.


  21. #71
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    There's nothing wrong with ditching a pathological liar. In fact, everyone should do that.

    Yeah, your little pal is a liar. I'd believe her ass if she came off of a Mormon polygamist compound or her name was Conchita & she snuck over the border. BUT NO, this chick is full of shit.

    Don't feel bad about being taken....The world is full of these people...Sad fact. I have some froot loop lady tell me she was related to a famous murder victim..Then she shut up when I told her I lived down the street from the killer... think she thought I was trying to beat her at her own game!!!! But I was actually telling the truth. (I got my info from my ex's store computer. Her, I think she pulled her tale out of LiarAss Land.)

    * Oh & I turned a lying stripper in to our ex-boss in common, a very cranky Sicilian dude. I still laugh about doing that. Don't worry, he didn't kill her. He just fouled up her reputation in her new town. Karma's connected, yo.


    These types don't need help or tolerance, they need asskickings.

  22. #72
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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    Kaiyla, what's the word?!

  23. #73
    Veteran Member wonderkitty's Avatar
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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    Hope it turns out OK.

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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    It definitely happens more than you guys think. But in LA? With a doctor father? Possible, but not likely....



  25. #75
    madmaxine
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    Default Re: my friend basically doesn't "exist"

    If her dad is a doctor, wouldn't there be tax records with her name on them? Any doctor in L.A. making income in a city with those kinds of taxes (CA is tax-crazy) would be very stupid to not claim her as a dependent.

    If this girl does not act like she comes from marginalized culture, she is not. People reflect their life experiences and background.
    Last edited by madmaxine; 04-23-2007 at 12:42 PM.

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